14 = THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
LIFESTYLE
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7,2002
Changing sex partners means changing tactics
SEX
It's pretty common knowledge that losing your virginity can be a stressful event. Suddenly there's so much more to worry about when two people decide to go all the way. Even getting the event started can be a testament to great courage and incentive. Luckily, there are quite a few words of wisdom on the subject to help virgins on their ways.
Meghan Bainum mbainum@kansan.com
But there isn't much written on the fact that getting back in the sexual saddle again can be almost — if not more — stressful than heading out on the erotic range for the first time. It doesn't matter if your number is one or 100, adding another partner to the good old sexual roster can turn a formerly frisky lover into a puddle of nerves and stress.
Nerves and stress do little to enhance a person's sexual performance, making whatever it is the person is stressing about
almost more likely to happen. We humans can freak out so much about certain things that we cause them to become reality instead of just bad dreams or thoughts.
See, after taking the leap into sexual activity, people start to figure out what needs to be done to really get themselves and their partners off.
When you change the partner, though, you change everything. Suddenly that patented penis move you used to keep on
heavy rotation for the thrill of your last lover does nothing to send your current erotic interest into the moan zone. In fact, it does nothing but make them look at you, slightly confused, before trying to play along.
Yikes. The thing is, a virgin could merely claim sexual incompetence, which should lead the lover - if more skilled - into a highly pleasurable training session; if less skilled, into a naughty game of sexual experimentation. The more experienced individual, however, is often left trying to over-compensate for the possible sexual snafu.
Overcompensation can often turn into frustration and body parts rubbed raw in a frantic pursuit of pleasure. Still, nobody ever became a good lover without a little trial and error.
The key is to approach sex like a veritable virgin every time you get with a new lover. There's no guarantee that your new sexual partner will like that thing you do with your tongue that sent your last flame to the heights of ecstasy. But instead of fearing for your sexual life, just relish the opportunity to teach your old tongue, penis, fingers or vagina some new tricks.
What is absolutely necessary for having good sex is that you and your partner having enough confidence to experiment and talk about what gets the job done and what doesn't. Long discussions aren't necessary a simple "oh yeah," or "right there," will do just fine.
Much like playing any sort of musical instrument, having sex takes practice to learn the fingerings and notes before you can really play what you want, and have it sound good. Sex is just a little bit more fun to practice.
Sandler in 'Punch-Drunk' intoxicating to critics
Actors are forced to reckon with two groups of critics—the general population and movie critics who get paid to spend almost all of their waking hours in a dark room carefully observing every nuance, eye twitch and facial gesture.
Now in most cases, these two groups of critics have entirely different viewpoints. Movies that professional critics spend their time raving about appear only in art houses and generally get overlooked by the public, who go to see the blockbusters that the critics spend their time trashing. One actor the general public loves and the critics despise is Adam Sandler.
Sandler has appeared in smash comedies, such as Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer that the general public, and especially college students, can't seem to get enough of. But he seems to find respect
from the professional critics about as easily as Rob Schneider. When he comes out with a new movie, the critics rip it apart and say he has hit a new low, as if they considered Billy Madison Oscar-worthy.
However, his latest role in Punch-Drunk Love is actually garnering him something that he never has gotten before — respect. And it's not coming from a bunch of 13-year-olds, but from critics who wanted to shoot themselves in the head while they were watching Sandler hallucinating that he saw a giant penguin in Billy Madison.
What's unfortunate is that it's doubtful he is going to get as much love from the box office as he has seen in the past. Punch-Drunk Love just came out, so it's still too early to tell, but I wouldn't be surprised if it makes significantly less money than films such as The Waterboy, Big Daddy or even
POP VULTURE
(gasp!) Little Nicky.It's unlike any role he has had and it's too strange to appeal to a mass audience.
Paul Thomas Anderson made the film. His previous movies such as Boogie Nights and Magnolia may have been "like butta" to the critics,but they've been somewhat of a letdown at the box office.Anderson must be commended for hiring Sandler for his movie because Sandler isn't exactly
the critics' darling. Anderson using Sandler is the equivalent of Radiohead saying it's going to collaborate with Mandy Moore on its next album.
However, the bigger Kudos bar must be handed to Sandler because he went out on a limb and actually played a role that shows acting depth.
So it's hard to say if Sandler is going to take home any Oscars at the Academy Awards, but if he does, I think it's safe to say that I can die happy. I was an Adam Sandler fan when Billy Madison came out. And I knew that just because I thought he deserved an Oscar for the "puppy who lost his way" speech, it didn't mean the critics would. So if he does win this year, I will be overtaken by euphoria, announce been restored.