14 • THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
LIFESTYLE
THURSDAY,OCTOBER 10,2002
DIFFERENT SIZE.
SAME GREAT TASTE.
Solving the mysteries of the stiffy
Viva la vulva — but what about la penis?
SEX
Although men have a much easier time seeing their stuff — the penis and the balls especially — their size, shape and actions, arc often misunderstood or worried about. Though it's easy to see what is inside a guy's pants, there is usually more going on with a man's co-existence with the penis and balls than meets the eye.
For instance, especially in younger men, the penis can get hard with little or no provocation. Though these erections usually go down in time, sometimes helped by creative visuals of grandmas in showers, having a stiffy that refuses to relent can make it difficult to walk. If a guy is turned on for long enough, he can even get an annoying ache in his balls.
When a guy does have a chance to get off, especially if he is with a partner, another penis worry usually creeps into the mix: How does his penis stack up?
This unpleasant problem, though not fatal or dangerous, can be solved easily with an orgasm. Finding a place to have an orgasm in the middle of the day, however, is another problem altogether.
Meghan Bainum mbainum@kansan.com
According to an ABC.com survey of 300 college-age men, two-thirds of the men reported a penis size of 5.1 to 6.2 inches.To put that in perspective, the article says, a so-called average penis is "about the size of a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar unwrapped)."
Sometimes, though, a man's candy bar can be king-sized or bite-sized. According to www.sexualrecords.com, the largest medically verified penis on record is 13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches around. Dr. Robert L. Dickinson found and documented this specimen of penile history in the early 20th century. The smallest verified penises, according to sexualrecords.com, fail to exceed 1 cm
when erect.
Though guys are often hung up on size, almost any penis length can give pleasure to partners, and to the penis' owner. But if there's a penis wanting some attention, where should the action be centered?
The head of the penis is sensitive, especially on the ridge on the underside of the organ, or the side that faces away from the guy when he's erect. Licking or stroking this little ridge can cause some crazy sensations. If the penis you're dealing with isn't circumcised, focus on the head of the penis. Some guys also really like some licking or stroking action on their balls as well. Talk dirty to him and ask him how he wants his stuff treated. He'll probably love it.
Just remember, although penises are fun, they are not required for good messing around. If your little guy, or the little guy of someone you know, refuses to stand at attention, give the poor penis a break and fool around in other ways.
So, let's hear it for the penises between us and around us, and the crazy life they live everyday.
Try apple pie in kitchen showdown
Every family usually has one great cook. Look out if there is more than one chef in the family because a fight could begin. But instead of breaking out boxing gloves, the contenders bust out aprons and oven mitts.
EAT THIS
Round one begins with the prepping of ingredients. The ingredients are laid out on the counter — but, wait — what's in your apron pocket? It's the secret ingredient.
Round two is the smelling, the listening and the watching. The ingredients sizzle as they cook. The smells reach the perfect aroma. The oven is opened and closed again and again. By the way, don't do this. If heat escapes, your dish's internal temperature reduces, and your fire alarm goes off. Try turning on your oven light instead.
Round three is the final judgment. Family members sit down, and the tasting begins. Do they like it? The cooks wait anxiously and search for the answer in their loved ones' faces. The cooks either triumph or fail. Failure leads to an argument with responses such as, "Don't like it, don't eat it!"
If you're ever involved in a cooking showdown, try making my Grammy's famous apple crisp pie. I even included the secret ingredient, which my mom caught
Christina DiGiacomo
cdgiacomo@kansan.com
her adding once. I promise this will make everyone in your family jealous because you - yes, a college student - will be able to make a tasty, good pie.
Grammy's Famous Apple Crisp Pie 1 unbaked pie shell
Filling
1 cup sour cream
3/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 egg beaten lightly
1 tablespoon Red Hots
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon water
3 cups peeled, cored apples diced or thinly sliced
Crisp topping
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Combine first six ingredients in mixing bowl Beat ingredients until smooth.
3. Secret: Melt Red Hots in 1/2 teaspoon of sugar and 1 teaspoon of water over medium heat until completely melted. Add to sour cream mixture and mix immediately. Discard candy if it solidifies.
4. Add apples to sour cream mixture, mix, and place in an unbaked pie shell. To maintain color of apples while slicing, place apples in cold water. When ready to put into mixture, drain apples and pat dry. Also, be sure to puncture the bottom of pie shell all over with a fork.
5. Bake in oven for 25 minutes.
6. Mix the crisp topping ingredients.
7. Crumble mixture over the top of the pie Reduce heat to 325 degrees and bake for another 25 minutes.
Serve warm with ice cream. Store the left-overs in the refrigerator after they've completely cooled.
$14-$16 for all ingredients at Super Target, 3201 Iowa St.