12 • THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
LIFESTYLE
THURSDAY,AUGUST 29,2002
Take pride in your magic number
SEX
Meghan Bainum
mbainum@kansan.com
In an honored, first-week-of-class tradition, let's start out the year with a little getting-to-know-you game.
Instead of divulging favorite movies or pets' names, how about something a little more revealing — like magic numbers. You know, how many people you've slept with.
I'll go first. My name is Meghan Bainum. My magic number, to the best of my knowledge, is 10. I also have three cats: Stella, Mogwei and Wayne.
So, ready to go?
Granted, this question is usually asked in a slightly different situation: between friends, lovers or in a drunken game. But it's usually accompanied by the same emotion: worry.
Is your number too small? Too large?
What is the cut-off point between having a good time doing what you want and having way too much of a good thing?
What makes things even more complicated is that standards of judgment usually depend on who is revealing the holiest of numbers.
One of the most recent examples of this double standard occurred in American Pie 2, and went something like this: to get
someone's true magic number, add three for women and subtract three for men.
Hmmmmm. It is telling that women feel forced to downplay their sex lives, while men feel forced to appear as sexual stallions.
This whole magic number thing might be more complicated than it appears. It is hard to be truthful about your sexuality when you could be persecuted for either too much sex, or too little.
So how much sex is not too much,not too little,but just right?
One 2001 study, conducted with interviews of 11,161 British people, ages 16 to 44, found the average magic number for heterosexual partners to be four for men and two for women. Find more on that one in the story "Sex at the Millennium," on the
United Kingdom's Medical Research Council Web site, www.mrc.ac.uk.
Average, smaverage, says an article at Ananova.com, which reports that 64 percent of men and 54 percent of women ages 17 to 25 thought having at least 10 partners before marriage was "normal."
Of course, both surveys were done in the U.K., and "normal" magic numbers could be different here in the States. Also, no homosexual partners.
In any case, a bunch of numbers can't possibly tell the whole story, and render words such as "normal" almost meaningless. Nobody has a right to define normal for anyone else — especially when dealing with sex. Whether your magic number is 0 or 10,000, the only thing that matters is how you feel about it. And, if you feel good about it, own that number.
I, for one, am proud to be a 10. Being independent and owning my sexuality is something I value. Respect yourself, and be proud of experiencing the magic of sex, if you choose to do so. Just be safe about it. There's nothing magic about disease or surprise babies.
Strength CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11
"It's hard to be Jewish on an island."
Lewis said many students also had the option of going home to practice their faiths, and many students flew home for major holidays.
Nazir's mother sometimes called her to remind her to pray, but Nazir said she had become fairly independent about her religion.
"My family is always a helpful thing," Nazir said, "but I think I have a strong enough faith to train myself to do things like prayer."
Nazir said it wasn't so bad being a non-Christian in a Christian environment. Being exposed to new groups of both non-Muslims and Muslims had strengthened her religious beliefs.
"My Muslim friends would stop and talk about it," Nazir said.
"My non-Muslim friends would ask me questions, and I want to be able to answer their questions. All aspects help me to learn more about my religion."
Contact Kimmel atlkimmel@kansan.com
This story was edited by Katie Teske.
30% Off All Services
With this Ad
Not Valid With Other Offers • Exp. 11-30-02
Full Color Copies & Prints
Color Oversized Posters
Oversized Copies
Lamination
Faxes • Binding
Hard Cover Binding
Business Cards
Wedding Invitations
Self-serve Computers
and more...
785-832-2679
23rd & Naismith
copycaus.com
In remembrance of those who lost their lives on 9-11 copy Co will be closed for half of the day on Wednesday September 11 from 7am-1pm Normal business hours will resume at 1pm.
Cheers at kansan.com Check out the weekly specials around town