4
Thursday, September 10, 1992
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OPINION
一
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
IN OUR OPINION
Bush and Clinton need to keep God out of race
A good portion of the time that Ross Perot was in the presidential race, everyone was trying to figure out with which party he was actually in ideological consensus. However, since his departure, the political wizards of this country have focused on a less wealthy but probably more powerful entity — God.
The Republicans are claiming that God is in their camp, as George Bush's comments have implied. The Democrats are so confident that God is in their camp, Bill Clinton's platform is actually a "new covenant."
The atheists of this country probably believe that God has never even been registered. Chances are, the agnostics just aren't sure. Nevertheless, the religious folks out there want this question answered.
The Democrats stand for equality, helping each other and in a more liberal form of thought. With this logic, God most certainly wears a donkey on his lapel.
Then again, the Republicans believe in self-reliance, and an increased amount of moral principles reflected in our laws. God probably wouldn't have a problem with that either.
It seems as if the only thing that is actually debatable is the government's role in making religion a part of our lives. Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't say anything specific about a separation of church and state. It must be our job to decide that at the polls.
So candidates, spare the American people the childish games of finger pointing and trading empty accusations. George Bush and Bill Clinton both consider themselves Christians. Whether or not their political platforms will lead them and our country to the promised land will be left up to the non-partisan guy in the sky.
JRP's basement needed for KU's child-care crisis
It seems as if child care is always taking a back seat to something else in our society. Parents everywhere are desperate for affordable child care. Often none can be found. And places with affordable as well as quality care are difficult to get into because of eligibility requirements and long waiting lists.
The University of Kansas is a perfect example of this problem. There are more than 400 single-parent students at KU. For many of these parents income is small, time is pressed and affordable child care is practically non-existent, so their children and their education suffer. KU has a solution, it is called Hilltop Child Development Center. More than 200 parents are waiting to get their children enrolled. The need to expand is obvious.
Unfortunately, the funds needed for the center to expand are limited, and places are hard to find that meet safety requirements. With the closing of Joseph R. Pearson Hall, the center found a great opportunity to expand its service to more than 99 children while adding infant care. But because the center submitted its request for space after the University Space Committee recommended to the executive vice chancellor that the School of Education get to use the hall, the center may lose a terrific opportunity and so will some 99 children and their parents.
The center only needs the bottom floor, which the school of education intends to use for storage space. It is hard to believe that the University would find storage space more important than children and the education of their parents.
JANET RORHOLM FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
KANSAN STAFF
ERIC NELSON SCOTT HANNA
Editor Business manager
GREG FARMER BILL LEIBENGOOD
Managing editor Retail sales manager
TOM EBLEN JEANNE HINES
General manager, news adviser Sales and marketing adviser
Editors
Asst. Managing   Aimee Brinailan
News   Alexander Bloemhof
Editorial   Stephen Martino
Campus   Gayle Osterberg
Sports   Sherly Solon
Photo   Justin Knupn
Cock Hole
Grabbles   Sean Tevina/Michael Riaa
Business Stuff
Campus sales manager Alicia Evangelier
Regional sales mgr Teresa Mellett
National sales mgr Brian Wilkes
Co-op sales mgr Amy Stumbo
Production mgrs Brad Bron
Kim Caxton
Marketing director Jamel Langster
Creative director Jamel Langster
Classified mgr Judith Stanley
Business Staff
For those stuck in relationships, romance is not what it used to be
He was staring morosely into his beer and every so often he'd sigh deeply. The bartender was too smart to ask him what the problem was. But I wasn't.
He shook his head and said: "I just ended a ... we just ended ..." And his voice choked and cracked.
What's bothering you? I asked.
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"We ended ... a ... relationship."
A relationship?
I bought him a beer, advised him not to let life wear him down, and quickly
"Yeah. She broke off our ... relationship."
I'm not without sympathy, but I hate the word relationship. If he had told me he had suffered a shattered romance, I'd have stuck around. But I refuse to listen to someone blubber about a relationship.
What an awful word. It's the kind of sterile word used by lawyers and sociologists and other menaces.
Exactly when the word relationship began be used as a substitute for a romance or love affair. I don't know
bondage of love allure, Poor 14.30
and not only does it sound like
"What the world needs now is relationship, sweet relationship. It's the only thing there's just too little of."
"I can't give you anything but a relationship, baby; that's the only thing I've got plenty of, baby."
I can go on and on. So I will.
MIKE ROYKO
That's the real question. Try to rhyme relationship with something. Battleship? Landing strip? Broken hip? Scholarship?
playing our song" when they hear:
"We started our relationship, on a landing ship, while watching a Messerschmidt fly bv?"
From the Beatles we would have:
"Westerday, relationship was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away. Oh, I believe in yesterday." Or "And I relate to her ... A relationship like ours could never die, as long as I have you near me."
Sure, you can string together a few words like relationship. But you don't have to use all of them.
With words like that, how are we ever going to have schmaltz poems and heart-plunking love songs? And without them, someday the ultimate romantic sentiment will be: "Your place or mine?" Maybe it is already.
If the word relationship has been in use over the years, I hate to even think about the kind of popular love songs we would have been hearing.
How about this: "I'm in the mood for relationship, simply because your
How about the classic "Stardust?" "Tho' I dream in vain, in my heart it always will remain: My stardust melody, the memory of relationship's refrain."
There is a sign on a road outside Eudora that says "No Pavement Markings Next 1 1/2 Miles" Driving through this area the other day I noted, as I often do, that that particular sign has been in place now for well over five years, for no apparent reason.
One thing I forgot to ask the guy at the bar. When his significant other ended their relationship, did she at least ascult him goodbye?
Mike Royko is a syndicated columnist with the Chicago Tribune.
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a relationship."
Then there's another phrase. Significant Other.
How about this? "Let me call you significant other. I'm relating to you. Let me hear you whisper that you're relating to me, too."
"Relationship is a many splendored thing."
It is now used by many people to describe the other party in a relationship. It has become a substitute for words like girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.
And there's the old jukebox favorite,
"You Are My Sunshine," which would sound like this: "You are my significant other, my only significant other.
You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I relate to you. Please don't take my significant other away."
You can see the road for the entire 1 1/2 miles in question. Do we really need a sign to tell us that there's no paint on it? Is this sign needed to differentiate between the 1 1/2 miles that never have been painted and the rest of the road, which last saw new paint during the Truman administration and has long since faded into invisibility? More importantly, why can't the city of Eudora just paint the damn road and take down the sign?
You could really make some heart-tugging songs out of significant other.
Road signs create confusion instead of clarity
STAFF COLUMNIST
Signs, many of which are unnecessary but profoundly amusing, continue to breed in our world like "Beverly
MARK COATNEY
Hills, 90210* clones do on TV. All the screens on the windows in my parents' house, for instance, bear little signs that say "Caution — Children May Fall Through Screen." This one is funny because you know that somewhere a kid did so, and the parents were shocked. I "dunno, Stella, one minute he's in the living room, the next he's playin' on the front lawn."
I do like the idea of warning labels and think that people should be
required to wear them at all times.
Wouldn't it be great to be able to read
"Caution — Annoying Drunk" instead of having to listen to the guy for several minutes to find that out?
Right here on campus we have some signs that are just full of great, untapped social potential. Take the "No Solicitation Beyond this point" sign on Jayhawk Boulevard. sign a great idea. Has anyone contacted the city council of Kansas City, Mo., about putting a few of these signs in front of Ray's Playpen or the Pink Garter?
Thus, by the way, is my favorite sign. Aside from the mental image one gets if the violators, rather than their cars, were really towed, I have always wanted to leave a sign on my car in response stating that "Towers will be Violated." The sexual ambiguities of that are potentially staggering and well worth making a few signs about.
sprouted like so many mushrooms all over Lawrence in the past year. What does this mean exactly? Does it mean teachers can't have aspirin at such schools? Are these zones the equivalent of "No Parking" zones — is it OK to drop acid outside of the zones? Do drug-free school zones have drug meters that you can pump quarters into while you roll a fat one? Also, in a drug-free school zone, will violators be towed?
Lawrence High School has a sign that proclaims it the "Home of the Chesty Lions." I love this sign. However, it does make me wonder where those students in Lawrence who are not so chesty attend high school. Also, I am puzzled by all those "Drug-Free School Zone" signs that have
Mark Coatney is a Linwood graduate student majoring in political science.
Grace
By David Rosenfield