4 Tuesday, August 25, 1992 OPINION UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN IN OUR OPINION Students should register as election draws near If reproductive rights, national health care and eliminating the national debt are issues that concern you, consider the importance of your vote in the Nov.3 general election. The two presidential candidates are diametrically opposed on how to deal with these and other critical matters facing the nation. Besides national concerns, local issues will be decided and may have more immediate impact on voters. KU students may vote on a Kansas liquor-by-the-drink law as well as for senators and representatives on state and federal levels. Temporary residents, such as college students, have the right to vote either in Lawrence or in their hometowns. Students may fill out a voter registration card in the county clerk's office at the Douglas County Courthouse, 11th and Massachusetts streets, from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. The Associated Students of Kansas plans to sponsor registration booths in residence halls, the Kansas Union and in front of Wescoe Hall. During orientation, ASK registered about 500 voters, including 12 percent of the freshman class. Students can vote at their permanent address by obtaining an absentee ballot from their hometown county clerk office or election commission. Deadline for registration is Oct.19. If the right to vote were taken away from those under the age of 21, students would band together in protest and demand to be heard. On Nov. 3, the nation will make a decision that affects your future. Shouldn't you have your say? LISA GOLDA TAYLOR AND SUSAN LYOCAONO FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD. Media should shed light upon election confusion In recent weeks it has become fashionable for the media to attempt to paint George Bush as a hypocrite on the abortion issue. They've done it by asking what he would do if his granddaughter told him she was going to have an abortion. Bush's answer has been a consistent one: he would try to counsel her out of it, but in the end he would love her — whatever the decision. The media is ranting and raving about his hypocrisy. But what is he supposed to say? He could pin his granddaughter down or lock her in a closet for a month, but that isn't particularly reasonable. In fact, his political agenda has a far greater chance of preventing his granddaughter's abortion than he does. We have very little control over the actions of others. That is why laws are created in the first place. It is completely unfair to suggest that George Bush should not love his granddaughter or that there is any decision she could make, legal or illegal, that would place his love in question. George Bush's commitment to this says more about his own personal family values than any political platform ever could. In a campaign that is shaping up to be a unabashedly negative one, it would be nice if we could count on the media to wade through the campaign rhetoric and focus on the issues. Instead they are feeding the confusion. And in a time when politics is considered a waste of time by many Americans, more confusion is the last thing we need. JEFF REYNOLDS FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD Final Version of School Prayer Acceptable to Children of All Faiths : 'Fluff stuff' is more fun than required readings We're back to school already! How quickly the summer flies, especially if you went to summer school, which I did. STAFF COLUMNIST I spent eight weeks reading authors from the Renaissance, Romantic and Victorian periods, Old and New Testament writers, a few somewhat interesting and a whole lot of very boring writers. So, what did I do to kick back and unwind during my four-week break before the fall term? I read I read my favorite kinds of books: humor, mystery and fluff. It was that wonderful, mindless reading where there are no assigned pages, and you can relax knowing you won't be tested on any of it. Of course, that's when I can recall even the most trivial facts. Take away the pressure of having to know something, and it's locked in my memory for life! KATE KELLEY The first book I read was What the Dogs Have Taught Me by Merrill Markoe. It's absolutely terrific. I recommend it for the Western Civilization reading program, as this one book contains more truth about the state of mankind than anything Plato ever formulated. Markoe's metaphor of the United States being a big junior high school run by a student government of eighth grade boys was particularly profound. In addition to its insight, the book is written with such wit and entertaining style that I did not want to put it down, and it never once put me to sleep, a quality not shared by any Norton's Anthology. a page turner. It's one of those "guy" novels. Men are men, all others are worthless. The women are either throwing themselves shamelessly at the hero, are psychos, or both. The second book was the mystery, Night Vision by Paul Levine. I haven't finished it yet. It's not exactly All the women in the book are first described by their legs and not much else thereafter. I haven't figured out the killer yet, and I'm not sure I care. If he or she doesn't knock off the most annoying character, Jack, it's just not worth the chase. The last book is the reigning fuff book of the summer, *Diana*, Her True Story by Andrew Morton. I refused to buy the book on the principle that I'm not really interested in that sort of trash. But when the offer was made to borrow it from a friend, I snatched it from her hands in a nanosecond. And people here think they have it bad! How can we complain about not having jobs, housing and medical care knowing Diana gets so upset with her in-laws that she can't keep her steak and kidney pie down? Literally read it in one day. It didn't require much thought. I actually found myself feeling sorry for the poor Princess of Wales. Her gooey husband has been having an open affair for years. Diana has had to take her holidays in castles in Scotland or on the royal yacht when she'd rather be walking alone on a beach in France. It's been a tough life. Diana is actually one of the funniest books I've read. You can't make up names like "Swampie" Marsh, Lady Knatchbull, Ham Common or the Silver Stick in Waiting to the Queen. I had to keep reminding myself that the author was actually try to write a serious book Now that school is starting, I face the volumes of dry, serious, tedious prose of long dead authors. I know every little verb and punctuation mark will be a veritable study in itself. The University carefully selects all the required reading so that we emerge from our education well-rounded in our knowledge of art, literature and science. But why can't the powers that be find the Dave Barrys of the ancient Greeks, the Stephen Kings of the 15th century or perhaps a former butler of King Henry VIII who wrote a tell-all book after he was fired from the royal staff? Then I could guarantee my close scrutiny of the literature, my unwavering attention in class, and my memory of absurd details for exams. I would also be able to share the wealth of my education with my adult, college-graduated, professional friends who have all read and will eagerly discuss Diana but can't recall one line from anything they had to read in college. Kate Kelley is a Fort Leavenworth junior majoring in journalism. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Columbus provokes historical analogy Robert Madden, PhD Waterford, Mich IS AMERICA REALLY AS MIXED UP AS COLUMBUS? natives going to work in the fast food mines. Columbus sailed away and only by accident found new lands for the growing population. America sails away to the stars to find new lands and maybe, by accident, paradise. Finally, Columbus sailed away and enforced Christianity with the sword. America sails on to correct all the defects of human nature with the sword. ica sail on and on returning home now and then to find quality health care and thus outlive their grandchildren. Columbus sailed away to the new World to become, in the end, stranded and homeless. America sails away in such an affluent style to suburbs and leaves behind the less affluent that are stranded and homeless in decaying ghettos. Columbus found the natives chewing coca leaves for the strength to work in the gold mines. America found crack cocaine to keep its Columbus sailed away for untold riches, especially gold, somewhere in Asia. America sailed away for untold riches to Asia with the dream nobody would ever drink water again, only pop. Columbus sailed away to find a fountain of eternal youth. The elderly of Amer- ASSOC. EDITORIAL DAVID MITCHELL Sperm sale lends new meaning to selling out Some people will buy anything. Others will sell just about anything $g$ In the back-to-school issue of the *Kansas*, students would could recycle their old clothes, CDs, and for the gentlemen only — sperm. Yes, money-hungry males can head up to Kansas City, Mo., and get $50 for their efforts. The Midwest Fertility Assessment Program and Clinic offers the fee to willing men who pass a six-step test involving semen analysis and blood testing. I am not sure what they analyze the semen for, but for those lucky enough to pass, the clinic provides a quiet room with stimulating magazines. Some people leave their bodies to science after they die, but at $50 a toss, these guys are cashing in early. And they are making a tangible contribution to society by advancing scientific research. No doubt they ponder how their actions in a room at a Kansas City clinic will improve the quality of life for generations to come. Then there are the guys who just want the cold, hard cash. I understand that some students are desperately in need of cash, and their contributions are based on necessity. On the other hand, I've also heard a story about two roommates who earned enough cash to pump up the volume on a new stereo system. For the truly needy student down on his luck, I can understand the trips into Missouri to fill a specimen cup. But masturbating for music is entering the realm of the true audiophile. A good stereo system runs around $1,000. The men in the program can donate three times a week. Now, journalists are notoriously poor mathe- maticians, but $50 three times a week equals $150, multiply that by two roommates and wham-bam you've got 300 big ones in the bank. These entrepreneurial college students had the money for their stereo in one month. Imagine what their CD collection could be like if they have kept up the hard work. Men, the possibilities are mind boggling. Need a new computer system for your homework? The Macintosh Ilsi with color monitor, software, printer, etc. could be yours in three short months. Pay for your books in just two weeks. Pay off the national deficit in just . OK, so it's not a cure all. But for the man in dire straits, or badly in need of home furnishings, sperm sales may be the answer. Of course, three times a week could be a bit taxing for less virile men. And the new job might cramp some guys' lifestyles. But if your girlfriend complains, you can honestly say, "Sorry, honey I David Mitchell is a DeSoto senior majoring in journalism. KANSAN STAFF ERIC NELSON Editor ERC NELSON Editor GREG FARMER Managing editor TOM EBLEN General manager, news adviser BILL SKEET, Technology coordinator SCOTTIHANNA Business manager BILL LEIBENGOOD Retail sales manager JEANNE HINES Sales and marketing adviser Asst. Managing...Aimee Brainard News...Alexander Bloomboom Editorial...Stephen Martino Campus...Gayle Osterberg Sports...Shelly Solon Photo...Justin Knapp Features...Cody Holt Graphics...Sean Tevs/Michael Riles Business Staff Business Staff Campus sales mgr Angela Cloverge Regional Sales mgr Melissa Tartip National sales mgr Wilkes Wikes Co-op sales mgr Amy Sumbu Production mgrs Brauf Braff Kim Claxton Marketing director Ashley Langford Marketing director Jeff Dutro Classify Director Stuart Standley **Letters** should be typed, double-spaced and fewer than 200 words. They must include the letter's signature, name, address and telephone number. Writers affiliated with the University of Kansas must include class and homework, or faculty or staff position. **Guest columns** should be typed, double-spaced and fewer than 780 words. The writer will be the Kansas reserves the right to reject or edit letters, guest columns and cartoons. They can be mailed or brought to the Kansas newsroom, 111 Saffner-Fin Hall. Grace By David Rosenfield