TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2011
THE UNIVERSITY DAIRY KANSAN
PAGE 9
Hey K-State, find yourself a slimy AD and then yet! it'll get a BCS bid
Troll, troll, troll your post, gently down the feed. Merrily, merrily troll along, a life is what you need!
The BCS looks more ridiculous than Harry and Lloyd at the charity hall.
Clearly, the inventor of Angry Birds never had to write a paper.
I may look like a lion, but I'm extremely warm.
Anthony Davis needs at least three more game-winning blocks before the uml-brow is acceptable.
Religion is like a penis, you shouldn't go shoving it down oth ers' throats.
The Hawk is the best bar? Can we please excuse all minors from question?
Sometimes I wish the gender roles were switched. I'd love to dink around through college, get my Mr. degree, and at the end of it all, have a hot wife who brings home the bacon.
If you're too tired to have sex,
do not waste your money on granny
punies. Get the Not-To-Mighties
instead
Every new freshman class has something annoying about it. This year it's the number of people wearing letter jackets.
I've been wearing shorts and T-shirts all semester, and I'm not about to stop now. Coats are for the weak.
Editor's note: I just spoke with Chuck Norris, and he approves your message.
I haven't seen this many people in class for a while. There must be something big coming up
If you live on the third floor and take the elevator, I will judge you.
KIJ research has been in Cosmo twice now. Sexy research is the best research
The only upside to this frigid weather is that no one is walking slowly.
Squeaky pencils make me want to paint the owner of said squeaky pencil and the pencil itself across the mom.
That awkward moment when you get in the van and there is no candy.
Anschutz has the smell of panic and desperation.
Enjoyable. Enjoy a bowl.
How do you miss the toilet when you're sober?
Growing up: Never lose sight of your inner child
Being the youngest of four, all I remember thinking about during my childhood was how much I couldn't wait to grow up and have all the same privileges that my brother and sisters had. In sports, I was always trying to catch up to my brother. I anxiously anticipated the day that I could finally beat him in horse or hit my driver farther on the tee.
LIFESTYLE
With my oldest sister, I patiently waited until the day came when conversations with her didn't make me feel like such an insecure, ignorant dumbass (I'm still waiting on this one).
So of course, now that my time has come and I've reached
my growth spurt, along with my higher level of thinking (yeah right), I can't help but look back to my childhood and wonder if I took it for granted. Did I play enough tag? Did I TIP enough houses? Did I climb trees, hop fences and get into enough trouble for crying out loud?
A couple of nights ago I was working on some economic homework when a friend walked in with at least a liter of hot chocolate. He turned to my roommate and said, "You ready?" My roommate dropped everything he was doing and, in a Morpheus-esque tone, replied, "Let's do this." He grabbed the remote to the TV.
and within seconds, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was beginning in the middle of my studying. Being the responsible student that I am, I also dropped everything that I was doing and began watching what I consider to be one of the greatest movies of all time.
By Trent Kuhl
editor@kansan.com
were when I was nine, but the excitement was still the same. As the bursts of laughter emitted from our mouths, an emotion I haven't felt for almost a semester overcame me. It was a feeling of joy. Even my roommate, who is a senior, couldn't help but have that familiar look of boyish wonder on his face while staring at the screen.
The experience for that hour was just how I remembered it as a kid. Yeah, maybe the jokes about Yukon Cornelius licking his pickaxe for gold were a little more inappropriate than they
but that doesn't mean our spirits should be boxed up and put in the closet along with our Game Boy Color. It's not the loss of innocence that makes us adults; it's the remembrance of the revelry and excitement for life we had that shaped us to be the people we are today and tomorrow.
Yes, we are all legal adults, but our spirits are still the kids at recess playing tag. Our degrees will come and then our jobs soon after, but our excitement for life and living will always remain. We might be a little old for riding our Razor Scooters down to the park.
So go ahead, make yourself some hot chocolate and watch the Abominable Snowman put the star on top of the tree. We may not look like kids, but who says we can't be young at heart?
Trent Kuhl is a freshman from Olathe.
POLITICS
Vote Ron Paul, the only decent candidate
As the election season heats up, I must do my part to encourage my fellow students to vote for the only decent presidential candidate: Texas Congressman Ron Paul. He is the candidate for those who believe in freedom, good will toward neighbors, limited government and a return to sound monetary policies.
One of the biggest reasons Ron Paul is the right man to be president is his principled anti-war stance. He is the only candidate among the Republicans and incumbent Obama who would not seek additional sanctions and other acts of war against Iran. Far from being an isolationist, Paul is instead a non-interventionist who believes in trade and peace with all nations and entangling alliances with none.
It's clear that Paul's non-interventionist policies resonate with members of the military, too. Paul has received more campaign
donations from active-duty military than any other presidential candidate, including Obama.
I can't neglect to mention Paul's anti-prohibition stance either. Paul advocates ending the failed "War on Drugs," correctly reasoning that the Constitution gives the federal government no authority to ban substances such as marijuana. It took a constitutional amendment to gain the authority to prohibit alcohol. Why should marijuana be any different?
Paul is staunchly pro-life, an understandable position given his profession as a medical doctor; as an OBGYN, the doctor delivered more than 4,000 babies. Disagree with him or not, Paul has a long record of working to protect human life — both inside and outside the womb.
For those whom gay marriage is an essential issue, Paul is, again, the best choice. Paul deviates from the typical conservative, believing the government has no authority to regulate marriage contracts between individuals, and questions the reason for the existence of marriage licenses altogether. After all, why do we need the government's permission to marry?
Paul would let young people opt out of financially insolvent Ponzi schemes like Social Security, gradually defounding the programs while keeping the nations promise to the elderly. He would pay for the
programs through savings gained by ending American wars, bringing troops home and closing down hundreds of unnecessary and expensive military bases around the world.
With the stroke of a pen, Paul would end the existence of the Transportation Security Administration and its dangerous, radiation-producing scanners. He would return security to airports, hopefully ending the grasping, groping molestation of Americans who simply want to fly on a plane. Paul is the only candidate who understands that the government has no business spying on its citizens without due cause.
Obama ran for election in 2008 as an anti-war candidate, but once in office, promptly sent more troops to the Middle East, and even started bombing campaigns in countries like Pakistan, Yemen and Libya — all of which are illegal.
unconstitutional actions without an official declaration of war.
You may not agree with Ron Paul on every stance. That's okay. But what you can take to the bank is his humility, his consistency and his humanity. He doesn't want to run your life. He's committed to respecting human rights of citizens both from America and around the globe. And he's maintained these positions, unwaveringly, for more than 30 years.
Don't worry about whether he can win. Voting isn't about trying to guess who is most likely to win and then voting for that person. It's about voting your conscience for the candidate most in line with your principles. So vote for Ron Paul. He is our only hope.
Jason Bennett is a senior in journalism from Bendena.
CAMPUS
Discovering identity and passion as a Jayhawk
"I-L-I...I-N-I"
That was the college chant I've been accustomed to for most of my life and collegiate career. But, as I wrap up my first semester, Kansas has me bleeding blue, and believing in the essence of a bird that doesn't even physically exist.
Having spent some time as a Jayhawk, I realized that college is a far more different place for nontraditional and transfer students than it is for recent high school graduates.
I was born and brought up in Naperville, Ill., near Chicago. I breathed Big Ten air and when I graduated high school in 2006. I imagined myself working for Caterpillar in Peoria, Ill, or Boeing in Chicago, designing fuel-efficient engines and working on machine designs.
I was enrolled in University of Illinois' mechanical engineering program for three years starting Fall of 2006. I was supposed to graduate in 2010 and have a job. I should have made more than $100,000 by now. That was my expectation.
But I'm still in school.
After my junior year at Illinois, I needed a break from the uninspiring engineering classes. I took a year off to go back home and enroll in community college. There I found my true interest in writing and I flourished at the school's student newspaper for two years. I officially left Illinois and abandoned engineering.
Now I'm here.
I decided to transfer to the University of Kansas because it had a terrific journalism program and student newspaper.
My first visit to Lawrence during spring break in March was the dealmaker. But while trying for apartments as a non-traditional student, I was rejected because in the University's eyes, I wasn't one.
I had to be two years older than the traditional age of my current academic level.
I was 23, had already been to two different postsecondary educational institutions in a different state, and I was technically a senior with more than 130 credit hours who would be here for two years.
I would hardly qualify that as traditional. University Housing should make non-traditional housing more accessible to students who want to live in these specialized apartments.
The new student orientation for transfer students was a quick welcome, enroll and goodbye. I trekked the campus, only guided by a map and poor directions to awkward buildings on an unfamiliar hill.
Living with people in a similar situation as me would have made my transition to KU life much easier. And while residing in the dorms allows me to relive the frenzied freshman year, it's been hard for me to connect with students five years younger than I am.
Although freshmen are the feeding tube of the University,
transfer students provide a unique perspective that enriches the college experience. Putting additional resources into making transfer students comfortable at the start of their KU experience would help get that unique perspective into the classroom and campus.
While I'm past that stage of sharing drinking stories at every meal, I see freshmen throwing away their best shot at a quality education by skipping class and drinking every day. I see upperclassmen giving up easily by dropping and putting off required, undesired courses so much it delays graduation.
I understand these students' problems,but it still saddens me.
I also see students who just have a fat future paycheck on their mind.
Instead of exploring their interests while graduating on time, some students force themselves into one career track, struggle in their major, and end up taking five or more years to graduate while keeping the "future benefits" in mind.
Trust me, I've been there and it's
not worth it.
But students should be proud of the University. Traditions here are unlike anything I've seen at Big Ten schools.
Having a national championship contending basketball team each year helps, but students here wear blue more than Illinois students wear orange at Champaign. They jeer at K-State and Missouri with more than a rivalry undertone. The passion here is tremendous.
From newspaper confetti to the bone-chilling Rock Chalk chant, in only a semester I've grown to love the University for the identity it provides me. In five years at two different educational institutions, I've never had the complete traditional college experience from convocation to graduation. But the traditions and people at Kansas are the things that make me proud to be a layhawk.
I'll forever be saying:
"Go KU!"
Shanker is the Editorial Editor and a junior in journalism from Naperville, IL.
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