Volume 124 Issue 71
kans com
Friday, December 2, 2011
It's so thumb-believable
PAGE 5
Men's basketball preview for Sat. PAG
FINALS
CONTACT
KANSAS IN HEAT // HOW MANY IS TOO MANY?
> Tackling the sticky world of relationships.
QUESTION:
Recently, I was talking to my 21-year-old boyfriend about how many sexual partners was considered "too many." I told him how there was a 21-year-old guy friend who says he's had more than 20 partners, but they had each meant something to him so he didn't see a problem with it. He goes on to say multiple partners are only a problem when you have meaningless sex. What do most people consider to be too many partners and at what age?
MICHELLE ANSWERS:
Having sexual experiences (which could be with one or more partners) is necessary for the development and understanding of sexual satisfaction.
Sex is so much more than penile-vaginal intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, etc. Sex includes seduction, selflessness, passion, trust and intimacy. Fully developing the aforementioned cannot occur during a one-night stand, or within a few weeks of dating.
Let's consider your 21-year-old friend's theory. If each of his 20 partners "meant something," and that something is a product of the trust and intimacy I mentioned earlier, then your friend has been busy dedicating much of his few years as a sexual explorer to courtship and relationship development.
I'm pretty sure he's had a few short-lived sexual encounters, perhaps as short as one night. This leads me to believe he is trying to save face and justify his increasing number of sex partners, fibbing about his sexual experiences or attempting to conform to the idea that sex and emotion must occur together.
Now, on to you. If you are using the "meant something" theory, then the sex you desire is within a long-term relationship. If the only sex you will ever want to have is with a long-term dating partner, great! If not, that's OK too.
Don't let fear of ridicule or judgement prevent you from satisfying your sexual exploration and development as a sexual being. With that being said, I want you to pay attention to this next statement: You must be responsible with your sexuality. This means not only your physical health, but the sexual safety and protection of you and your partner's emotional well-being as well.
Having an intimate connection with someone feels amazing. However, you'll never get there if you're too worried about what others will think.
Don't concern yourself with how many sexual partners may be too little or too many. Take your sexual development by the horns, find the path you want to take, and make it your own.
EMAIL ANY QUESTIONS TO
MICHELLE@MICHELLEMACBAIN.COM.
NO TOPIC IS TABOO.
Contributed Photo
Michelle MacBain is a graduate student in psychology from Kansas City. She studied sexuality and communication studies at KU and The University of Amsterdam.
CATCH OF THE WEEK // TARA DAUGHERTY
> A weekly book of a fish in the KI sea
> A weekly peek at a fish in the
Hobbies: I like being outside and hiking, relaxing at Clinton Lake or going on adventures. Serving on the executive board for KU Dance Marathon is also very important to me.
Turn-ons: I like when a guy is outdoory and appreciates nature. He also has to be passionate about what he wants to do with his life, have
an open-minded personality and like to do charity work. Tattoos that have meaning are also a turn-on.
Turn-offs: I don't like cockiness or guys who are lazy and don't like to take care of themselves.
Her strangest quirk: I like snakes, bugs and lizards. I really want a bearded dragon as a pet, because they have so much personality.
Favorite day of the week: I like Thursday best because you can look forward to the weekend. You're almost finished with classes, so you're focused on what you need to get done.
If she had a million dollar, she would: I'd put a little bit toward my savings. The rest I would use to go to different countries and find ways to help villages and communities.
Her ideal date: I would like a date that starts with dinner at an exotic food restaurant, like Indian or Thai. Then doing something outside, like going to a lake and having a bonfire.
CHRISTINE CURTIN
HOW WE MET// MEGAN ADAMS & AARON WHITESELL
> All great relationships had to start somewhere.
Love and basketball are two words that describe how Megan Adams, a senior, and alumnus Aaron Whiteside's relationship started.
In January 2004, Aaron and Megan, both from Spring Hill, started texting. Aaron had heard about Megan, and decided to ask their high school basketball manager, whom he knew was friends with Megan, for her number. "When he texted me and said, 'Hey,' I was like, 'Oh my God why is he texting me right now? Did he even mean to?'" Megan says.
A week later, they went with some friends to see the basketball movie "Coach Carter" in theatres. Megan admits she didn't pay attention to the movie because she was so nervous being around Aaron. They made their relationship official, and when it was time for college, they headed to the University of Kansas.
In April 2011, Aaron decided to take their relationship to the next level. He rented out the top of The Oread and had Megan meet him there for dinner and so he could propose. When Megan arrived and called Aaron, he told her the hostess would take her to him. "She got impatient that there was a line to get to the hostess and hung up on me," Aaron says.
Once she reached the top floor, Megan had
an idea something was going on. "He would fake propose all the time, but I knew it was real once he started to tear up." Megan says.
The couple plans to move to Germany or Dallas for Aaron's job once Megan graduates.
CHRISTINE CURTIN
Slam dunk: Megan and Aaron saw the basketball movie "Coach Carter" on their first time, and then came to KU together.
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CAMPUS
Student Senate provides funding for Occupy KU group
The group is required, according to Senate funding rules, to use the money to buy office supplies or paper and printing.
IAN CUMMINGS
cummings@kansan.com
Occupy KU secured $200 in funding from the Student Senate Wednesday night after offering assurances that they will not start a riot or large-scale disturbance on campus.
Brian Sultana, a senior from Manhattan, sponsored the bill as a student senator for the School of Social Welfare. He said the group wants to get students involved in issues including student debt and University contracts with multinational corporations.
"The issues are many," Sultana said. "But the goal right now is to get that information out and get students talking about it."
Sultana has been involved in the Occupy KU group from the beginning, he said. One issue the group
is talking about is the University's exclusive contract with Coca-Cola. Sultana said Occupy KU members are discussing accusations of environmental abuses, union busting and even murder at the cola company's overseas bottling plants. That same issue has been raised by the New York Times, Businessweek and the PBS program Frontline since 2005.
Occupy KU meets each Tuesday at noon and 4 p.m. and each Friday at 4 p.m. on the 4th floor of the Kansas
Union. The group is making plans to start tabling in the first week of the spring semester as part of an effort to attract more students. Sultana said the group now counts around 15 regular members. The group's Facebook profile has 60 members.
Hannah Bolton, senate chief of staff, said some senators did have concerns about approving funding for Occupy KU.
"We were kind of questioning their validity as a group," Bolton said.
CLASSIFIEDS 11
CROSSWORD 4
CRYPTOQUIPS 4
OPINION 5
SPORTS 12
SUDOKU 4
But the group met Student Senate requirements of being open to all students, which entitled it to $200 for office supplies and a banner just like any registered student group. Bolton said senate is not able to discriminate against any group that applies for funding and meets those requirements.
Edited by Josh Kantor
"They assured the senators that they are not planning any takeover on campus." Bolton said.
all contents, unless stated otherwise. © 2011 The University Daily Kansan
OCCUPY ONLINE
Occupy KU meets each Tuesday at noon and 4 p.m. and each Friday at 4 p.m. on the 4th floor of the Kansas Union.
Occupy KU on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/
groups/295573170942337
Occupy KU on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#1/occupyku
Don't forget
There is a men's basketball game on Saturday at 4:15 p.m.
Today's Weather
4.