kansan.com
Thursday, November 3, 2011
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Sedaris will share his unique and hilarious observations on the human condition.
Post-performance book signing in Kemper Foyer (main lobby)
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WESCOE WIT //
> Lol.
GIRL 1: OK that's it. I have to remember to stay far away from the woods. Three people have been killed in the woods in the past three weeks.
> Have you overheard any Wescoe witticisms?
Become a fan on Facebook and your post could be published in Jayplay.
GIRL 2: That was on TV. It's not even real life.
GUY 1: I just need someplace to put my gum.
no
**GUY 2:** Not on my nice cloth napkin. They gave this to me because I'll keep it nice, I am going to use this at least two times."
GUY 1: How did you get out of that test?
GUY: Oh, I just told her my grandmother died.
GIRL (as she kicks pinecone): Take that pinecone!
STUDENT: Really?
PROFESSOR: Yep, I was a pot head.
PROFESSOR: See, when I was in college
I just smoked loads of weed. I didn't drink
much.
GIRL 1: Would it be ghetto if I lay on this table?
GIRL 2: It would be.
GIRL 2: It would be.
GIRL 3: What if I performed for you?
GIRL: The McRib is like the Jay-Z of McDonald's; it keeps coming back.
NADIA IMAFIDON
Fortunal
Sheanon Zenger didn't hire Gill. I doubt he feels any loyalty to the hire and probably wants to find his one guy for the job. And as a former assistant under Bill Snyder at Kansas State, Zenger knows football. In his search for a new head coach at Illinois State as athletic director there, Zenger once told a central Illinois newspaper that he consulted a number of former colleagues while searching for a head coach. That included the aforementioned Snyder, Mark Mangino, and former Texas Tech head coach Mike Leuch. That's an impressive group of football minds to get advice from. Zenger knows what he's doing, and if he can somehow get out of that horrendous contract handed out by his predecessor, Kansas football will be in good shape.
in the penalty kick round as they defeated Kansas 5-3 at Blossom Soccer Stadium in San Antonio last night. At the end of regulation the score was tied at 3-3.
Edited by Lindsey Deiter
Kansas coach Mark Francis said it was frustrating for the match to come down to penalty kicks because the team should have won the game when they had a 2-0 advantage.
"I think you just have to keep it together and when something like that happens you need to be confident," junior midfieler Whitney Berry said.
Attempting to stay poised in a stressful situation like this is key for the Jayhawks.
Kansas forward Ingrid Vidal was stopped in the fourth round of penalty kicks, putting the game out of reach. However, many factors led to the result coming down to penalty kicks.
The Jayhaws eventually were down 3-2, but when all hope seemed lost, the Jayhaws made one final charge before time
After several solid attempts, junior forward Whitney Berry finally broke through with a goal in the 35th minute, giving Kansas a 1-0 lead. The strike was her eight of the season. The assist on the play was from junior midfielder Shelby Williamson.
Kansas was the aggressor for most the first half, pushing the tempo on Texas A&M.
The Jayhawks continued to put out an aggressive defensive effort, only allowing six shots and one goal shot for the Aggies in the first half.
The Aggies came out in the second half with a purpose, and eventually drew a hand ball in the box when it accidently hit a Jayhawk defender's hand.
Kelley Monogue, a freshman from Texas A&M, then lined up for the penalty kick and striped a ball into the right corner of the goal. However, Kansas freshman goalkeeper Kaitlin Stroud grasped the ball before it could touch the end line.
TRAVIS YOUNG/KANSAN FILE PHOTO
In the 75th minute, Texas A&M tacked on another goal when Annie Kunz found a ball near the net, tying the game.
Freshman defender Caroline Van Slambrouck covers her face in disappointment after a foul against Missouri that would lead to a penalty kick. Last night, the Jayhawks lost the game to penalty kicks in the final moments.
The first came in the 74th minute when Allie Bailey completed a cross to Merritt Mathias, putting the Aggies on the scoreboard.
goals of their own in less than five minutes.
The Aggies then went on and scored for the third time when Big 12 scoring leader Monogue made a goal in the 79th minute.
"They, scored three really good goals," Francis said. "They'd been attacking us out wide a.l day and we did a great job defending it, but we didn't on those three occasions."
In the second half the wind also began to blow violently against the Jayhawks, but the team realized that was nothing they could control.
Francis said it was a little factor that allowed the Aggies keep the pressure on the Jayhawks end of the soccer field.
Now the Jayhawks hope the effort on Wednesday will be good enough for them to get an at-large bid in the NCAA Tournament.
"I think we just try to keep our heads up," Kastor said. "This team
0
deserves to go to the NCAA. I'm hoping we're going to keep playing."
— Edited by Sarah McCabe