Volume 124 Issue 42
kansan.com
Thursday, October 20, 2011
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FEATURE
Finding the One
CHRISTINE CURTIN
With 6 billion people in the world, is there one for each of us?
Kevin Tietz, a KU alumnus from Plano, Texas, first saw Maggie Hull, a junior from Lawrence, at a party in the fall of 2009. He knew there was something
special about her. "People say when you know, you know," Tietz says. "After watching her dance at the party, I had this thought that she was the kind of person I would want to spend the rest of my life with." On Sept. 29 of this year, Tietz and Hull got engaged.
While their relationship has a fairytale beginning, the notions of "love at first sight" and finding "the one" are casually thrown around in sappy movies and romance novels. But how does the pressure that comes with finding you soul mate affect you?
Modern culture is to blame for our unrealistic expectations when it comes to love, says Lisa Clampitt, president of a matchmaking company based in New York. She refers to it as "the Hollywood syndrome."
"We start searching for the one that we have chemistry with," Alley says. "But chem-
can also affect how we handle our relationships. Jack Alley, a Kansas City-based matchmaker, says society has a mentality in which we want it all, we want it now and we want it perfect.
the person that they feel is "the one" right away.
Dedication to finding the elusive "one"
"Everybody has somebody for them,but at the same time many people can fit that role."
"Don't use a map of who you believe you should be with where it excludes really good possibilities," Clampitt says.
"Hollywood has taught us that suddenly there's one person you're meant to be with, and everything magically comes together." Clampitt says. "But that's not always true."
Even though people can find themselves on the quest for "the one," it's possible
Relationships take time and effort. While there may be an instantaneous connection, crucial parts of a relationship, like taking time to get to know each other, still can't be skipped.
Jessica Bricker a junior from Kansas City, Kan.
After adopting the idea that there's "one for everyone," people tend to take a narrow focus on love. They can miss a relationship that has potential because they want to find
there's more than one person that each individual can be compatible with.
istry doesn't get you very far — compatibility is what makes your heart grow in love with someone."
can be "the one" if you allow it, but there are other options, too.
"Everybody has somebody for them, but at the same time, many people can fit that role," Bricker says.
Jessica Bricker, a junior from Kansas City, Kan., and her husband, Kuran Bricker, a non-traditional sophomore from Overland Park, brought up the idea of getting married on their second date. Both believe that there
Sometimes, it's about how much effort each individual is willing to put into a relationship. While the initial feeling of "this is it" may not be present, that doesn't necessarily mean something great can't happen.
"If you really want to work at a person being "the one," it can be that person," Alley says.
But if someone does find one other person who they think is "the one," how will he or she know for sure? Is it a feeling or is it a conscious knowing? The answer always depends on the individual. "It'll smack you in the face," Tietz says.
Or, maybe it's something that is a little harder to put into words. Kuran Bricker says he can't even explain how he knew Jessica was the one for him. He just did.
Jp
WHAT LEVEL COULD SURPRISE FANS THIS SEASON?
I'll go with forward Kevin Young, the transfer from Loyola Marymount. Coach Bill Self said Young has a chance to be a starter, and he will have plenty of opportunities to prove himself this season. With forward Jamari Traylor ineligible, Young looks to be the third scholarship forward on the roster, garnering him plenty of playing time. Thomas Robinson will be consistent, somewhere around 12 points and eight rebounds a game. The rest of the production down low will have to come from Jeff Withey and Young. At Loyola in 2009, young broke freshmen records in total rebounds (224) and rebounds per game (7.2). He's also played for the Puerto Rican under-19 team, so the experience is there.
Coach Bonnie Henrickson watches on as the one-on-one interviews progress at the 2011 Big 12 media day at the Sprint Center in Kansas City. This is Henrickson's eighth season as coach. The Jayhawks look to improve on their 21-13 record of last year.
Edited by Jonathan Shorman
CHRIS BRONSON/KANSAN
the moves were based on football, women's basketball was also affected by the changes.
Coaches such as Oklahoma's Sherri Coale stressed the strength of the conference that sent seven of its 12
KIM MULKEY
Baylor coach
pettive stamp point, it is even more challenging because of the strength that the southern part of the league has and how talented those teams are," Nickerson said.
The Jayhawks feature seven players from Texas and one from Oklahoma. Hendrickson said the additions of
"When you play in a league that has the strength that the women's basketball conference or the Big 12 Conference and women's basketball has, you don't want to see that broken up for any reason," Coale said. "And that's not good
teams to the NCAA tournament last season.
southern games would be more motivating for those athletes and would be a good opportunity for recruiting.
As the conference continues to change, the rivalries that have lasted through the existence of the conference will also be affected.
When asked about whether she
would continue to schedule Missouri if the school left the conference, she paused and winked.
Tensions were highest regarding the decision of Texas A&M to leave the Big 12 for the SEC. The Aggies are the defending national champions and are predicted to
"Our rivalry belongs in the Big 12." Henrickson said.
"If a man wants to divorce me and says our relationship has no
Baylor coach Kim Mulkey compared the abandoned rivalry with Texas A&M to an ended marriage and admitted that she did not want to continue the competition beyond the conference.
finish second in the conference despite the loss of two starters.
4
value to him, and then he asks to sleep with me, the answer is: no. Mulkey said. "We are not going to play them anymore, because they decided that playing us was not important to them."
Edited by Sarah McCabe