Volume 124 Issue 39
kansan.com
Monday, October 17, 2011
Health on the Hill Learn how to maintain your grades, life and well-being.
SPECIAL SECTION
SEE INSIDE
LIVING UP LATE NIGHT
Special appearance by Victor Ortiz.
Rob Riggle at Late Night PAGE 8B
Conflict is not uncommon between any type of relationship. "Partners who live together, they argue, and people who want to get along and coexist argue," says Cohen. "An unhealthy relationship is keeping secrets."
Being able to communicate with a dorm mate is not enough; instead, dorm mates need to be able to communicate with each other respectfully. A common issue that roommates have is not being to communicate with consideration or not wanting to compromise, says Jennifer Wamelink, associate director for residence life in the department of student housing. "It is important to know what you need and what you want out of the situation and be able to communicate that to your roommate in a respectful way," says Wamelink. Michelle, a sophomore from Overland Park, and her dorm mates had issues with this. The four roommates had a whiteboard posted in the living room between the couch and the closet. The whiteboard was an effort for four people with various schedules to communicate with one another. The board made it possible to get comments to each other quickly. However, the messages got ruder as the semester went on. Messages like, "Someone needs to take out the trash," or, "Looks like the floor is getting messy." Michelle said that on multiple occasions she wanted to rip the board off the wall. The four roommates had the same problem that many other roommates have issues with; a lack of respect for one another and not being able to compromise.
Another issue that roommates face is having unrealistic expectations for their roommate before moving in with them. Cohen uses the term roommate from hell to describe a person who allows troublesome situations to affect a living situation. The roommates from hell expect too much from their roommate without willing to work to make the situation work them. These expectations range from assuming that a roommate will have the same lifestyle as him or herself. Dorm mates cannot assume that they want the room cleaned a certain way or study hours to be at a certain time. This needs to be discussed. Cohen says that shy roommates are the biggest roommates from hell because they don't share and their roommate can't read their mind and doesn't know how they feel. Soon the shy roommate will hate his or her roommate and that will make them resent the roommate back.
More importantly a person cannot expect his or herself to be best friends with a dorm mate. Cohen stressed that roommates do not need to be friends, just co-exist. In fact, it is almost better if they were not friends. Having friends on the same hall, offering a place to escape if you need someone to talk to. Lauren, a junior from Chicago started off as good friends with her roommate as the beginning but as problems rose the two found it hard to communicate. Lauren found relief of what to do
assistant job ranges from therapist, rules enforcer, mediator to even referee. But more importantly residence assistants can also be friends. Sarah, (name withheld at source's request) a sophomore from Chicago, can prove this. While living at Naismith, Sarah became friends with her resident assistant, Jessica Bartlett. Sarah felt comfortable enough to go to Bartlett whenever she had any concerns or issues with others on her floor. "If people were loud or smoking in their rooms, I would vent to her and ask them to stop," says Sarah.
with the help of friends on her floor. "They were there to help me with whatever I needed," says Lauren. "They helped give me the courage to calm down, figure out how to approach her, and when I actually did approach her I felt ten times better about it."
Sometimes two people just cannot coexist, no matter how hard they try and sometimes, language barriers keep roommates from easily coexisting: This was the case with Katelyn O'Donnell, a senior from Chicago. O'Donnell and her roommate spoke barely 10 words to each other the entire year, almost always a hello. The two did not have typical roommate communication issues. O'Donnell's roommate was from China and while the two tried to communicate, it was difficult. With a difference in language, it was hard for the two to discuss what bothers them and what guidelines they wanted to set for their room. "We basically lived around each other instead of together."
While it is important to have somewhere or someone on your floor to escape to, it is more importantly is having a life outside of the floor like a club or team. If a roommate never leaves his or her room they will begin to expect too much from the roommate. It is important to remember that the person is just a roommate. "Too many times roommates come into a situation expecting something, wanting something, from someone else," Cohen says. "Roommates don't need to talk to you, like you, be your friends, you and your roommate just needs to coexist."
Communication is a two-way street, which is often forgotten in the blame game of roommate problems, Cohen says. "People with a bad roommate don't realize that they're half the problem," he says.
In many cases the roommates cannot come together to resolve these issues themselves and need help from an outside source. That is where resident assistant comes into play. Jessica Bartlett, a resident assistant last year at Naismith Hall, experienced many issues between roommates on her floor. Bartlett explains that if a people want to move out of their rooms, they should go to their resident assistant who will out a request to leave. Then, they meet with the resident director to move out and talk about why they want to leave. If the situation is serious enough, they can be moved out that day or the following. A resident
FEATURE
- • PET PEEVES OF SOME JAYHAWKS • •
"Food on plates that they haven't finished eaten and is still in the room" – Paige Blevins, a senior from Great Bend.
"When people are really noisy in the morning when getting ready for school and when they get home at night" - Camille Clark, staff member for the office of multicultural affairs from Kansas City, Kan.
"Not coming to me when they have a situation that needs to be resolved" - Rachel Benoit, a sophomore from Wichita.
"Listening to music really loud when I am trying to study" - Tyler Yoder, a freshman from Kansas City, Kan.
"Sleeping with their socks off" - Chris Scrugges, a sophomore from Bakersfield, Cali.
"Letting their friends go into your room and use my stuff, like my bed for pleasures" - Maddie Kulik, a sophomore from Lenexa.
"Eating my food and generally not taking responsibility for keeping up with the house" - Sarah Pyle, a junior from Overland Park.
"Roommates who leave condoms laying around" - Danny Sanchez, a sophomore from Lenexa.
"Constant loud music when I am trying to study" - Nick Czarnecki, a sophomore from Overland Park.
THREE THINGS TO ASK YOURSELF TO KNOW IF YOU ARE THE ROOMMATE FROM HELL
1. Do I want to get along? If you don't want to get along with your roommate, you are not going to get along.
2. Am I willing to give my roommate permission to be nothing more than just someone I coexist with?
3. Am I willing to share things that make me uncomfortable?
3. Am I willing to share things that make me uncomfortable?
- Source: Harlan Cohen
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TRAVIS YOUNG/KANSAN
Jason Phoenix explains different gestures for responses during the demonstrations held by protestors participating in Occupy Lawrence. The local movement has expressed solidarity with Occupy Wall Street. The group is working toward promoting change in local government ordinances.
Kansas, making his home first in Stauffer-Flint Hall — where he sat, forgotten, until 2009 — and then in the University Archives.
It's a symbol of the long-standing connection between the University and its students doing good in Russian and Eastern Europe, said Marc Greenberg, chairman of the Slavic department.
The "Russian Jayhawk," as the small carving has come to be known, was a gift of gratitude from an unknown Russian prisoner of war to Conrad Hoffman, a Kansas alumnus working with the YMCA in Germany during World War I.
I want the carving to help draw attention to the things
On Wednesday evening, he made another journey, this time to the offices of the department of Slavic languages and literatures in Wescoe Hall, where he'll live for one year in a glass display case.
Hoffman went to Germany in 1915, and it was common for him to receive presents, said the article, from the thankful prisoners who he worked with.
The YMCA post was "an important non-governmental service performing a moral and social function during the First World War," Greenberg wrote in his article "Hoffman's Hawk."
According to the article, the YMCA worked in prisoner-of-war camps in Germany, providing education and coordinating social and athletic activities for the prisoners. The YMCA also helped prisoners develop trades and hobbies by giving them tools and arranging exhibitions and sales of their artwork.
In 1913, Conrad Hoffman became the secretary of the YMCA at the University, leaving his position as a professor of bacteriology at the University of Wisconsin.
a gift of gratitude
CRYPTOQUIPS 4A
OPINION 5A
CLASSIFIEDS 7B
CROSSWORD 4A
Index
According to a pencil inscription on his side, the Russian Jayhawk was given to Hoffman in 1917. He was probably carved by either
SEE JAYHAWK PAGE 3
SPORTS 1B
SUDOKU 4A
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