Volume 124 Issue 34
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KANSAS IN HEAT // MISSED CONNECTIONS
> Tackling the sticky world of relationships
Michelle MacBain is a graduate student from Kansas City. She studied sexuality, psychology and communication studies at KU and The University of Amsterdam.
KJHK CALLER ASKS:
A week ago, I met a really nice
Contributed Photo
guy and we hit it off right away. We expressed to one another that we were just looking for someone to go out and spend time with. Our first official date went very well and I was certain that we'd see each other again because during the date he would make references to future dates.
Well, a few hours after the date he texted me saying that while he had a nice time with me and liked me he wasn't ready for any kind of commitment and wanted to keep his options open.
I have never connected this soon with
someone and I could tell he was into me, but now suddenly I'm rejected because he likes me too much? Or was this just his way of saying he's not into me?
MICHELLE ANSWERS:
After initially meeting this guy you expressed your desire for a casual relationship. Is this how you truly feel? Or were you jumping on board with his desire; hoping that by agreeing with him, you would get to date him?
You had a great time on your first date - wonderful - but he has not made an effort to see you again. Perhaps you left him with the impression that you were ready to be in a monogamous relationship. Remember, you told him before your first date that you want the same dating relationship as he does: casual, no expectations, and fun. Again, is this something you really desire?
You also make the statement, "I never connected this soon with someone..." I agree, this is a wonderful feeling, but you only went on one date with this guy. Take your time getting to know a person before the fantasy of monogamy sparkles in your mind. A long-lasting
connection with a life-long partner takes much, much longer than a three hour dinner date. You must find compatibility in more than musical tastes, favorite foods, recreational activities or ultimate travel destinations. Morals, religion, children, family relations, money, sex, politics, handling of stress, communication, work ethic, education and spiritual compatibility is vital in healthy, long-term relationships.
Finally, he did like you! Something during your first date made him concerned you were interested in more than a casual dating relationship. He is not looking for a serious relationship right now. His text was polite, sincere and honest. It seems as though, despite a mutual attraction, neither parties are on the same desired relationship page.
As you move forward, be honest with yourself and your desired dating relationship. Are you searching for casual, multiple dating partners? Or do you want to find your next boyfriend immediately? Once you solidify your own desires, honestly communicate this to potential dating partners. I promise you there are men out there looking to settle down.
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its television rights until the six-year window closes. That sounds good, but what stops a Texas or Oklahoma from leaving in four years, sacrificing two years of television money in exchange for a fat, new deal in, say, the Pac-12 or SEC, and taking a potential spot from a Missouri or Kansas later on? Nothing at all.
So please don't pretend Missouri is looking to hightail it out just as everything is getting settled, because at best it's a six-year window of stability and at worst it gives Texas and Oklahoma a few more years to figure out what they want to do. A six-year deal spells stability like MC Hammer spells financial guru. Missouri not pursuing its options at this point would be irresponsible. Of course, if Missouri ends up leaving for greener pastures it puts Kansas in a tough spot in this realignment game. Emotional tirades from Kansas fans toward its neighbors to the east are understandable, but if the last 16 months taught us anything, it's that it's every school for itself.
off-rail screen, he is practicing his shot for any scenario: fade away, free throw, upright jump shot and leaner, left and right. Three-pointers, mid-rangers and layups, he is leaving no shot behind.
Lindsay said Taylor's shot has proper lift, meaning that his shot takes a trajectory that maximizes the chance of the ball dropping into the hoop. A line-drive shot is usually more difficult to convert and a rainbow shot can be just as flawed. Taylor works several hours each day to find a happy medium and become consistent and dependable from the perimeter.
Edited by Jonathan Shorman
"Ty is playing the best basketball from a point guard that I've seen." Freshman guard Merv Lindsay said.
"The real good shooters train themselves to shoot the same way every time," Taylor said. "Even when they've got a
TYSHAWN TAYLOR Senior guard
shooting.
However Taylor is the starting point guard in a primarily half-court offense and will likely have the ball in his hands more than any other Jayhawk. So when coach Bill Self wants to get Taylor's shot going, he will likely have junior guard
"You never know when you're going to get it," Taylor said of attempting a shot off the dribble.
a finger after fighting with the football team is now a role model and motivator for the younger players. The Morris twins had that role last year and now it belongs to Taylor.
"Tyshawn's been a great leader, has a much better attitude and it's shown on the court," senior guard Conner Teahan said.
Leading a team and knocking down jump shots in the offseason is different than doing the same in the heart of the conference schedule. But his teammates are confident that this will be a different year for Taylor, the scapegoat point guard of the past.
"When you have somebody that you can rely on and that people have respect for," Teahan said, "it makes it that much easier."
KANSAN FILE PHOTO
Edited by Ben Chipman
Senior guard Tyshawn Taylor is fouled in the final minute of last season's game against Illinois. Taylor is focusing on shooting in practice this year.
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