THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2011
PAGE 5
opinion
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I'm being forced against my will to go to the Missouri-K-State game this Saturday, Sadly, I may root for misery ...
Half of the words my teacher uses are not real words according to spell check.
Wtf chicken on Wescoe? The most brilliant marketing idea ever. Well played.
I procrastin-eat like a boss. Freshman 15? I don't even care anymore.
"You know for a fact he wasn't my first kiss. I went to public school," the sorority girl said.
When I saw the University has a women's studies class, I thought it was pretty sexist they didn't have a men's studies class. Then I remembered they do. It's called "history."
To the dude who told the girl to send porn to her boyfriend in the military overseas, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Just had to warn my roommate we're on our way back to our apartment with HER McDonalds because she's having sex. #GreatRoommates
Being the FFA editor must be the best/most awkward job ever, getting texts from 20,000 people revealing their deepest, darkest and strangest thoughts.
Editor's Note: I try not to get drunk on
Editor's Note: I try not to get drunk on the power.
To the guy who wants casual sex and a bong bowl, please contact me.
The bus this morning has wood paneling, I feel like a '70s porno would've taken place here.
Simpsons to be cancelled? D'oh!
Sir, you have an abnormally large head. Please quit sitting in front of me.
Currently watching the bus driver read FFA. I'm happy to see his priorities are on point.
Some guys like girls in eight-inch heels, dresses that go up past their ass and see-through panties. Me, I'm a classical guy; I think girls look perfectly fine naked.
You know it's going to be a great day when your professor starts shufflin'.
Eight frat boys piling into a mustang because they're too lazy to walk two blocks up the hill. I don't know what's worse: their laziness or willness to sit on each other's laps.
To all of you heading home for the break, whatever. More room for me to party.
I think I'm in love with one of my professors. But he's married, and quite possibly gay.
To the guy wearing the Bluth Company T-shirt, where did you find that and can you be my new best friend?
To the man riding a unicycle down Tennessee in the middle of the night, godsevel.
EDITORIAL
As a result of another decrease in enrollment, the University has been strategically planning ways to reverse the decline.
Admissions must focus on graduation rates
Figures released by the Kansas Board of Regents show that fall enrollment fell 2.5 percent — a record dip of 744 students. The drop from a record 4,483 incoming freshman in 2008 to significantly smaller classes in 2009 and 2010 shows an alarming trend that needs to be seriously examined.
While University officials have said it is going to take extensive efforts to address the issue, students who actually graduate should be the top
priority.
As a consequence of the gradual decline, it becomes harder to attract potential students who look at the size of the University before deciding to enroll. Even though higher enrollment may help the University retain a sense of popularity, the number one priority should be getting students all the way to graduation.
According to a story in The Kansan on Sept. 29, 61 percent of students at the University receive their degrees in six years or less and 20 percent of freshmen drop out, which ranks among the lowest rates in the Big 12.
With students accumulating so much loan debt and defaulting, it's understandable that graduating, let alone in four years, becomes a real feat. A new package of renewable scholarships that gives students automatic aid, based on their standardized test scores and high school GPA is an example of a step in the right direction, but more changes are necessary
Raising admission standards is also a solution the University has been considering, and it may seem beneficial to better ensure success. But that step is a wasted effort when students are not performing well after being accepted.
When it comes down to the strategic planning the University is conducting, it's hard to determine whether a smaller, yet smarter, University would be better than a larger, but less selective, version. Either way, getting students to walk through the Campanile and receive their degrees should be the most desired end result of the University's purpose. To establish a consistent propensity of academic success for students, it has to start with keeping students in school.
Stefanie Penn for The Kansan Editorial Board
WHAT ISSUES SHOULD WE TAKE A STAND ON THIS SEMESTER?
Send your thoughts to vshanker@kansan.com to let the Editorial Board know.
STUDENT LIFE
Late-night misadventures of a pizza delivery driver
I work as a pizza delivery driver for an independent pizza place that stays open excruciatingly late on the weekends. I would make etiquette suggestions for customers regarding late night conduct, but the thing about being drunk is that you kind of forget all the basic elements of life your mother taught you, so I assume there's no way my advice would be retained. Instead, I'll just relay a typical Friday night as a delivery driver in Lawrence.
I take orders over the phone between deliveries, and it is incredibly annoying when people order from the middle of a party. Never in the history of drunk people calling for pizza has anyone still had their synapses firing well enough to leave a party before ordering; instead, they will often try, in an annoyed tone, to shush the dozens of screaming drunkards in what I assume is a tiny house on either Kentucky or Tennessee Street. Of course, if this was a movie, the person making the call could just pull the plug on the DJ's record player, thereby screeching everyone's dancing to a halt. Unless you were the host, this would be the lamest option, therefore I suggest leaving the "loads of fun" you're having for a mere 45-second phone call.
Around 2 a.m. there seems to be a small contingent of males whose friends would presumably
describe as "Funny, in a Kurt Cobain sort of way," who like to jump in front of my car. After seeing I'm neither drunk nor willing to kill him at the moment, the male typically flexes one last time for the camera (which doesn't exist), utters "That's a win" and stumbles to the grass — where he celebrates his victory by sitting in spilled Milwaukee's Best while waiting for his roommate to pick him up, because he forgot where he lived.
Since all cities are designed by "Who's that? The new girl?" on Take Your Daughter to Work Day, their streets never make any sense. So when I need help finding a place, I call a friend with a computer — who quickly reminds me "It's probably in north Lawrence. Every time you call, it's because it's in north Lawrence." With his help, I can usually find the right road before the pizza has become so soggy and cold that the drunks might actually care.
I've become most annoyed with the lack of lighting in Lawrence, not only on the streets, but on the houses themselves. It's as if the city designer, often referred to with affection as "Little Pumpkin", was inspired to recreate the illumination and creepiness of 1800s London on every side street. As soon as I've found the right street I can perform the complicated mathematical formula I've coined as the "I'll just call them Theorem." At which point I call the lucky guy who almost forgot he ordered three Svedka shots ago. Once I find him, I give him the pizza, remind myself, "Tips aren't that important, after all, I'm being paid three times minimum wage in the '70s," and go back to the store for the next delivery.
And so goes the rest of the night, rinse and repeat, until 3 a.m. Once the trash is taken out the floors are mopped, and you are done making bad decisions for the night, try to use your last brain cell to remember your delivery driver, and maybe thank him or her in your head. After all, this is just one of the many thankless service jobs that are often occupied by your fellow University of Kansas students.
Kilgore is a junior in film and media studies from Lenexa
LETTER to the EDITOR Football fans: Quit hating your home team
Immediately after the homecoming football game began, I heard the first of a plethora of condescending comments about the game coming from behind me.
"How do we always end up standing in front of people that only have bad things to say about the team?" I asked my boyfriend.
He replied simply, "They're everywhere."
He's right.
Of the 15 or so football games I've been to in my three years at the University, I cannot think of a single game during which I was not standing
in earshot of a hater. It's always some guys who feel the need to let everyone around them know that the team is making every possible mistake, just throwing away the game.
Call me crazy, but I don't think it's very supportive to make a negative comment about every single play our team makes, and it's certainly
I'll admit that I don't know that much about football, so I don't know if any of what the haters are saying holds any merit. But I do know that we, as students, go to the games to support the team and have a good time.
not enjoyable for the rest of us.
We go to the games wearing Jayhawks on our shirts. If you want to root for the other team, get out of our student section. G hate on our team somewhere else — preferably as far away from Memorial Stadium as possible.
People like me, who want to see the team succeed and just enjoy the atmosphere, don't want to hear every comment out of your know-it-all mouths.
Megan Hinman,
a junior from Wichita
fibertwigs
@UKK_Opinion 'Baby' by Justin Bieber. Only because it forces me to face the sad reality that my hair will never be as luscious as his.
celtarchaeo
@UDK_Bpython Super Bass for sure. It doesn't even have a lot of bass!
CULTURE
Facebook distorts ideal image of self
Facebook has evolved drastically since I started my account six years ago. Back in high school, I used to log on for about twenty minutes a day. I used it for the simple things, like posting photos or writing on my friend's wall. It was a great way to communicate with friends when we weren't in school.
More than half a decade later, users can now update statuses, attend events, add photos from their phones,"like" certain posts, link twitter posts and even can "check-in" (which posts the exact location you are and who you are with and is incredibly creepv).
It is uncommon these days for people to not have a Facebook, considering that pets and babies have them. For those of you who do not have one, these changes allow users to virtually stalk another's life. For the vast majority of you that have one, you are guilty of stalking.
Most people use their Facebook as a projection of how they want their lives to be regarded, whether they want to admit to it or not. We choose the perfect profile picture. We think of the wittiest statuses. We add photos of all the fun events going in our lives like study abroad programs, the first week of college, 21st birthdays, family reunions and date parties. We add check-ins, so others can see both what social activities you are doing and who you are doing it with.
Let's face it: Facebook is our best possible self. On Facebook, we have the liberty to negate certain elements of our day like the mundane activities. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "A large part of this generation's social and emotional development is occurring while on the internet." People jokingly say phrases like "It is Facebook official," or "Well on 'fb', it says so." The virtual world seems relativity real.
The latent effects of this projection can cause others to feel curious, lonely or jealous. This stems from how humans constantly compare themselves to one another. For example,
Facebook has become more than a social networking website. It is the reflection of our ideal self. It is filled with emotion, personality and character. If you are one of the many people that log on to the virtual world, remember this reflection only shows part of the story. It only includes what the person deems fit. At the end of the day, Facebook is just a complex online blog. While the statuses, photos, wall posts and check-ins are all convenient, nothing replaces the memories you achieve living your life. That is something that only belongs to you.
Saha is a junior in neurobiology from Overland Park
CARTOON
However, it is important to realize Facebook is just a glorified version of oneself ending with a "com." If I portrayed my life as it usually is, my profile picture would be me in gym attire. Trust me, I am not working out. Nike shorts are more comfortable. My status would say "Eating string cheese and going to Haworth," My check-ins would be at Anschutz and I would tag myself. How exciting.
Within seconds of logging on to Facebook, Sally can see how exciting Susan's life is. Sally compares herself to Susan. Sure, Sally might not know Susan was pick pocketed, had food poisoning and was lost for hours in France.
take sorority sisters Susan and Sally. Susan spends the summer in Europe while Sally is stuck at home studying for the GRE. Susan posts photos of her drinking wine in Florence, shopping in Milan and enjoying the beauty of Paris. Sally is lucky if she can have a fun night out with her friends in the midst of studying.
HOW TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
LETTER GUIDELINES
Send letters to kansasopdesk@gmail.com
Write LETTER TO THE EDITOR in the e-mail subject line.
Length: 300 words
The submission should include the author's name, grade and hometown Find our *full letter to the editor policy* online at kansas. com/letters.
Kelly Stady, editor
765-1491 or kristodna@ansan.com
Joel Petersman, managing editor
765-1491 or jettershan@ansan.com
Jonathan Shorman, managing editor
765-1491 or joshman@ansan.com
Length: 300 words
Mohammad Hadi Ataei
Clayton Ashley, managing editor 766-1491 or cashley@kansas.com
Mandy Matney, opinion editor 766-1491 or matney@kansan.com
Vikaas Shanker, editorial editor 766-1491 or vshanker@kansan.com
CONTACT US
Garrett Lent, business manager
764-9285 or greene@kansas.com
Stephanie Green, sales manager
764-9285 or greene@kansas.com
Malcolm Gibson, general manager and news adviser
861-7436 or malcolm@kansas.com
节
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Jon Schillt, sales and marketing adviser
864-7666 or jachitt@kansan.com
THE EDITORIAL BOARD Members of the Ransen Editorial Board are Kelly Stroda, Jep Pettterson, Jonathan Shorman, Vikas Shanker, Mandy Matthey and Stefanie Penny.