THE UNIVERSITY DAILY BANSAN
PAGE 5
FREE FOR ALL
Send your FFA submissions to freeforall@kansan.com
Steps 1 and 2 were easy, but what if she doesn't open the box?
Is it sad how excited I am for Justin Bieber's new Christmas album?
Parking your lawn care vehicle on the Vietnam War Memorial. Classy.
Moving from a hockey city to a basketball town is like losing the fact that you lost your virginity in the first place.
The awkward moment when you hear someone fart in the bathroom and start laughing because you really want to shout, "Thar she blows!"
Fall in love with someone in every class and then you will go to every class
To the freshmen with their car windows painted "senior 2011." Take it off.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2011
I'm in college and I don't want to waste my time getting a grammar lesson. If somebody can't use apostrophes by now they shouldn't be in college.
Dear Hashinger Stoop Kids, You ALL have acoustic guitars and play hackey sack. Stop thinking you're super original.
I wish that the university would have left one new cop car out off the budget in order to upgrade our toilet paper.
That awkward moment when your friend changes the FFA number to your mom's number.
Come back legs!
The awkward moment when you watch someone fall off their bike and you can't stop laughing long enough to ask if they're okay.
Dear Kansan: Selby was not a 2011 first round draft pick. Don't give him more credit than he deserves. Oh P.S., I will boo very loud
Can all the guys dress in suits everyday?
Practice safe math: don't forget your parentheses.
Do my teachers purposely schedule tests the night after dollar drink night?
Just witnessed a scooter getting pulled over by a Dodge Charger. Day equals made.
My iPhone is faster than some of the computers at Watson!
AWARDS
Student selects his Emmy award winners
Oh boy, you guys! The Emmy Awards are this Sunday! I doubt you're anywhere near as excited as I am, but ya know, just pretend to be for this column (it thrives on your love).
BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMATIC SERIES
For me, it's between Steve Buscemi and Jon Hamm. This is a difficult decision. Buscemi showed a tremendous amount of range as corrupt Atlantic City treasurer Nucky Thompson on HBO's "Boardwalk Empire," but Jon Hamm literally blew me away in season four of "Mad Men." Buscemi already took home the Golden Globe for "Boardwalk Empire," but he was up against "Mad Men" season three Jon Hamm. Season four Jon Hamm gave Don Draper even more depth
as he dealt with his divorce, trying to keep his new company afloat, and the death of his only real family member. "The Suitcase," the best episode of "Mad Men" to date, really puts both Hamm and co-star Elisabeth Boss on display.
BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMATIC SERIES
In fact, I want to put my vote in for her as well. My colleague Lou
Schumaker has pointed out before that it seems like they weren't really sure what to do with Peggy (Moss' character) for quite a while, but both the writers of season four and Moss delivered a Peggy with purpose and a Peggy still struggling with being a career woman before that was even a phrase. Though the favorite in this category is Juliana Marguiles for her work on "The Good Wife".
BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Laura Linney's work on "The Big C" definitely deserves some accolades. Though Tina Fey has won this award in the past, and Amy Poehler is wonderful on "Parks & Recreation," they aren't given as many opportunities to play dramatic.
Best Actor in a Comedy Series Steve Carell should finally get
some recognition, and Alec Baldwin deserves to be put in his place for jumping ship on "30 Rock" so soon; although "Parks & Recreation" Nick Offerman really deserves this award, but he was snubbed harder than a cheating ex-girlfriend you see at WalMart.
TEST WRITING FOR DRAMA SERIES AND COMEDY SERIES
SERIES
Oh, and "The Suitcase" — that episode I mentioned above — deserves best writing for Drama and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that "Reaganing" ("30 Rock") was better than "Goodbye Michael" ("The Office"), which felt kind of helter-skelter throughout even though it ended beautifully.
BEST DRAMA AND COMEDY SERIES
POLITICS
So, Chance, what about best drama and comedy? As I said above, season four of "Mad Men" was definitely the best so far — better than "Boardwalk Empire", although it gave a valiant effort. If it doesn't win you'll probably see an ax flying through the skies of Lawrence Sunday night. "30 Rock" is good, but "Parks & Recreation" has surpassed it. The writing, the performances, the character relationships, and the jokes have elevated far above the crappy "The Office" knock-off it once was. This will never happen though. It seems the Emmy voters really only care about Sofia Vergara being foreign on "Modern Family".
—Carmichael is a junior from Mutvane majoring in creative writing. Follow him on twitter @ChanceConical
Metaphor misconstrued natural disasters natural
Late last month, Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann indicated at a rally in Florida that the recent hurricane and earthquake on the East Coast might be a message from God. She stated that God caused these natural disasters to get the attention of politicians. Is this belief that God creates these disasters to get the attention of the people still a relevant explanation for disasters?
Shortly after making this statement, Bachmann renounced this as a serious comment by saying it was meant to be interpreted as joke or a "metaphor" I'm having difficulty accepting this as truth; she seems to dig herself into these holes time after time and crawl back out with further explanation. There are also times when she is just completely wrong-for example, the whole issue with mixing up the dates of Elvis' birthday and death.
Furthermore, while discussing the origins of natural disasters, Pat Robertson of the 700 Club claimed that the earthquake — since it was so close to the nation's capital — is evidence of the imminent end times. Robertson isn't in the running for political office, so he doesn't need to explain his statements to make a
majority happy. However, they are still irrational claims that are disrespectful to people outside of his beliefs.
Making God fit the structure of this nation is putting words in His mouth.Furthermore, to believe that God would cause disasters to get people's attention and punish the "wicked" is cruel. The idea of explaining things like natural disasters by saying God did it is arguably abused. Yes, there are examples of such scenarios in the Old Testament, but using that same logic to explain these current disasters lacks proof of relation to a higher power's wrath.
In these moments of tragedy, faith is an ample way to help people cope with loss and pain. Faith should be used to better you as a person. God should not be something we use to explain disasters or to use as a scapegoat
in to further our own agendas.
Bachmann used her belief in God to garner political support. The problem I have with this mixture of God and nationalism is that it hinders this country's ability to move past dogmatic ideology, which isn't viewed as truth by everyone. Asserting your beliefs
as the grounds the country should be run on neglects people outside of those doctrines.
For this country to progress we must disregard our personal convictions so that this nation as a whole can be suitable to all who live here. Even if Bachmann was making a joke, it was in poor taste for the fact that the disaster affected people's lives. I guess maybe I just didn't get the joke.
By all means, have your beliefs but don't press them on the entire nation in order to get your way.
— Moffitt is a senior in English from Wichita.
THE NEXT PANEL
Nicholas Sambaluk
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
As a class we got to experience something special, taking a detailed tour of the Campanile. I would want everyone, regardless of any physical disabilities, to have an equal opportunity at doing that also.
— Phillips theme is a junior from Wichita.
Elevator installation needed, stairs problematic for some
Dear Colleague Letter skews male student rights
I would like to precede the content of this letter by affirming that I, as a red-blooded American man, am a feminist. Upon experiencing the feminist agenda, not the radical anti-male kind, but the feminism that preaches equal treatment not just for women, but people of all races, religions, and sexual orientations, I couldn't help but find myself subscribing.
The Campanile at the University of Kansas is a rich part of the campus's history. It is a World War II memorial, and every student gets a chance to walk through the main floor during graduation. Only a handful of people can actually say they have walked all the way to top of the building, being able to see and hear the massive bells being played. Climbing to the top of the tower, you have to walk up a narrow staircase with 110 spiraling steps. There is an elevator shaft, but the funds have not been produced
That being said, I am appalled to hear of the content of the Obama administration's new Dear College Letter that has been sent out by the Education's Office for Civil Rights. This letter requires that colleges and universities must obey its contents in order to receive funding. This DCL effectively takes away many constitutional rights of men while attending university. In an instance of accused rape, the DCL rules that a man doesn't have to be proven guilty "beyond a reasonable doubt", or even the more intermediate "clear and convincing proof."
to install an elevator. It's quite unfortunate that a person with a disability would have to miss out on such an experience because they physically wouldn't be able to make the climb. I feel that the University has enough alumni funding to take the necessary steps in adding a handicap accessible elevator, they just don't see it as a priority at this time. I am not physically handicapped, and no one in my family is either, but the simple things we don't think about or don't look at as a gift or privilege, we tend to take advantage of.
The concept of social justice can easily be broken down in one basic principle: equality. Equality that encompasses and protects every single person's human rights. When most people think of the rights of certain groups, naturally the first things that come to mind are usually race, religious groups, or gender. Groups that I feel get overlooked are those with physical handicaps.
Rather, men who are accused of rape on campus must be found guilty by "a preponderance of the evidence." That means that the disciplinary board only has to believe
that the accuser is 51 percent likely to be truthful. Also, the DCL strongly encourages universities to prevent the accused the right to confront his accuser, and appeals must be available to both parties, subjecting the man to double jeopardy.
— Adam Pfeifer is a Senior in psychology from Topeka
While I don't want to diminish the importance and seriousness carried with an accusation of rape, I would like to point out that this DCL is blatantly taking away constitutional rights of men. This is not part of an administration that should be celebrated. Radical feminist organizations widely-circulate that 1 in 4 women will be raped in her lifetime, while that number has been found to be closer to 1 in 10. These same organizations have also said that false rape accusations account for 2 percent of rape cases. Again, the true number is closer to 41 percent! With numbers like this, why are all male college students suddenly losing their constitutional rights?
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LETTER GUIDELINES
Length: 300 words
The submission should include the author's name, grade and hometown.Find our full letter to the editor policy online at kansas.com/letters.
Kelly Stroda, editor
864-4810 or kstroda@kansan.com
Joel Peterson, managing editor
864-4810 or jopterson@kansan.com
Jonathan Shorman, managing editor
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HOW TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
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Clayton Ashley, managing editor
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kanaan Editorial Board are Kelly Strode, Jeet Peterson, Jonathan Shranman, Vikaas Shanker, Mandy Mandry and Stefanie Pfennig.
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