Volume 124 Issue 20
kansan.com
Friday, September 16, 2011
SPEAK
ince 1904
MY INNER
CLEAN FREAK
The horrible roaring of the dreaded vacuum would occasionally wake me up. Not again; the vacuum was back.
Saturday mornings were for sleeping in and relaxing. But not mine growing up. My mom, my sister Haliy, and I were up at it, cleaning the house. Vacuums swept the clean carpet, dust cloths wiped the few particles of dust sitting on the end tables and shelves, and cleaners added a sparkle to the fresh bathrooms. My dad would sometimes help when he wasn't outside working in the yard, but my two brothers would never be caught cleaning the house. Oh, the special privileges of being a girl in my house.
When my sister and I were in junior high, we had even more special privileges. We ironed clothes, too, after we finished vacuuming and dusting – the whole family's clothes. My brothers worked at Hy-Vee so we had to iron dress shirts and slacks, which was the worst. Haily and I convinced my mom to pay us for our ironing because it was pure hell, standing for a couple hours at the ironing board with a hot iron, making sure we got every wrinkle out. I never thought the day would come when I would have more than one weekend away from cleaning the house.
Balancing crazy cleaning habits with a relationship
The day I moved away for college, I thought, "This will be great! No more Saturday morning cleaning because I have a housekeeper!" In Naismith, housekeepers clean rooms and bathrooms once a week. I didn't think it could get any better. Well, that was until I realized the housekeeper did not clean to my standards. The floors and sink were still dirty. I would bring the vacuum from the first floor up to the seventh, so I could do it my way.
I hadn't realized I was so finicky. I looked around at friends' rooms and they all seemed dirty. What was hair and make-up doing on and around the sink? Why were clothes on the floor? Apparently the dreaded weekly cleaning my parents made me do had turned me into a clean freak. But this was just a taste of what was to come. Four months later I met Zach, the guy who would become my boyfriend.
Zach lived in quite possibly the fifthiest house I had ever seen with six other guys.
The first time I saw his house, alarms starting going off in my head. As soon as I stepped through the door, my feet stuck to the floors. Trash bags were piled up in the living room, furry mountains of lint and dust filled the corners, and empty beer cans were strewn across the fireplace mantle. Was this for real? Could someone's house be that dirty? I was only two rooms deep and thought it couldn't get any worse. But it could. In the kitchen, the counters were piled withoodles of dirty dishes. I tiptoed through the house because I did not want to touch anything for fear bacteria would contaminate me.
clean freak took over and I started bringing his house up to my standards. I even organized Zach's closet and house. Naturally, his roommates were thrilled to suddenly have a housekeeper tackle the kitchen from hell.
During the tour of his house, Zach said several times, "I'm not like this. It's my roommates." And I thought, "Uh huh. Sure, that's what they all say." But then I saw his room and thought "OK, your room is not as bad as the rest of the house." Certainly it wasn't bad enough to make me run. Zach and I started dating in earnest, and I began spending more time at Zach's house. Gradually, my inner
Two years later Zach and I decided we would move in together. Once we did, though, I felt less eager to do all the cleaning. I thought Zach needed to pitch in. He was making the mess too. My suggestions that he help didn't go over well. I was annoyed week after week when I asked Zach to empty the dishwasher or vacuum, and he gave me the same old excuse. "I'm watching a show. I'll do it in a minute." That minute turned into hours, and I'd get pissed because I wanted our apartment clean. I continued to do all of the cleaning and Zach would occasionally help. But each week I kept asking him to help me clean our apartment.
Then one day, Zach brought me up short:
"You're not my mom." Ouch, I thought. I'm definitely not his mom, and I definitely didn't
want him to think of me as his mom. That was a clarifying moment for me. I realized I needed to meet him halfway, even if that meant the clothes were not folded immediately or the dishwasher not emptied for a day. I realized if I wanted to be in a relationship, I couldn't have everything my way. Once I backed off, Zach became more helpful. He started vacuuming, folding clothes, and picking up after himself. I learned to let go of having our apartment be as tidy as my parents all of the time.
I will not completely stop being a clean freak, but I've learned to compromise. If the bed isn't made one day, I'll let it be. If our puppy's toys are scattered across the floor, I'll leave them there for the day. If Zach doesn't pick up his clothes off the floor right away, I won't yell at him to move them. That's what relationships are about - give a little and meet in the middle, even if it's in a room that hasn't been cleaned for a week.
KYLIE NUTT
09
15
11
MORGAN LAFORGE/KANSAN
Johanna Moon, a student at Cordley Elementary, leans on the front door of Lawrence Community Shelter early Thursday morning as she waits to go to school. There is a large number of families with children elementary age that are currently living here.
"Kids are so adaptable. The stressors we see are getting used to a new school and the stigma that may come with the label 'shelter kid' or 'homeless kid,'" said Jennifer Davis, the case manager at the Lawrence Community Shelter. "Luckily, so many of them are going to the same school that they
dmscott@kansan.com
Students know the challenges of waking up for that 8 a.m. class. But some students — much younger students — understand a different struggle. These students, along with getting up early, must make their way from the Lawrence Homeless Shelter. In the morning, a group of 17 children woke up and shared two showers and two toilets along side 14 adults. After getting ready they went upstairs and waited with 40 more adults for breakfast, or walked to school and received a free meal at school.
The shelter began its Family Program at the end of 2008. In 2009, there were 14 families with 24 adults and 24 children in the program. In 2010, there were 50 families with 67 adults and 83 chil-
viduals here struggling. Their self-esteem is being damaged each day they're here. Their self worth is
dren. So far this year, the shelter is serving 11 families with 14 adults and 21 children, 17 of which are in school.
big situations with information about the issue up front rather than waiting until the end of the year would help them navigate potentially dangerous situations better, she added.
The main goals of the week were to increase awareness and educate the campus about sexual assault. Each day this week, volunteers had a table on Wescoe Beach set up where students could take a pledge to hold others accountable for their actions and try to put an end to sexual assault.
the past, it would be just one new kid coming from the shelter. He or she would stand out a little bit more."
The school district defines homeless under the McKinney-Vento Act, which includes families that are double-up or staying with family or friends.
According to the Kansas Point in Time Homeless Count for Douglas County, a biannual report, the Lawrence school district counted 100 children ages K-12 who were homeless in 2009 and 149 in 2011, accounting for a 49 percent increase.
Students could also decorate bandanas in honor of a victim of sexual assault and learn more about what sexual assault is and what resources are available for assistance with a different
Davis has seen a dramatic increase in family homelessness in Douglas County.
SEE HOMELESS | 3
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Today, volunteers will discuss the importance of bystander intervention. The GaDuGi SafeCenter will also host two events over the weekend to raise awareness and money to prevent sexual assault.
"We want to make sure they know how they can help and how they can be an advocate," said Heath. "And we want them to know its not just a women's issue. We want to make it okay for men on this campus to be able to talk about it seriously and try to help prevent it on our campus."
CLASSIFIEDS 8
CROSSWORD 4
Edited by Josh Kantor
CRYPTOQUIPS 4
OPINION 5
SPORTS 10
SUDOKU 4
At contents, unless stated otherwise. © 2011 The University Daily Kansan
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