Volume 124 Issue 20
kansan.com
Friday, September 16, 2011
PARKING PROBLEMS
AbleHawks group question if administration is listening to its concerns PAGE 3
WALKING THE RUNWAY
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UDK
CONTACT
1904
AGE
[ AGE IS JUST A NUMBER ]
Photo illustration by Morgan LaForge
Numbers game: Consider all the factors before dating someone older or younger than you.
After hanging out with a group of friends one summer night, Jay walked Lawrence sophomore Katie Brown to her car. As he was hugging her goodbye, he confessed that he was really liked her and asked if she would like to go out sometime. She eagerly accepted, as she had grown increasingly interested in him through the summer months as well. There was only one thing: she was 19. He was 28.
When the two first met through the KU Swing Society, a swing dancing club, during Brown's freshman year, she was instantly attracted to his helpful nature; Jay was accustomed to serving people after spending six years in the Navy. Although he was dating someone else at the time, the two remained close. It wasn't until last summer, though, that they began to see each other as more than friends.
For many, a nine-year age difference would be cause for concern, but it was nothing out of the ordinary for Brown. "My parents work with college students, so I have always been used to interacting and relating to people much older than me from a very young age," Brown says. "But [his age] was definitely something I took into consideration before dating him."
TALKING IT OUT
According to Sonja Heath, assistant director at the Emily Taylor Women's Resource Center, there are a variety of factors that students should consider before jumping into a relationship with someone who is significantly older or younger than they are. "I think it might be safe to say that if you're older, you've had more relationship experiences. You might also be more in touch with the things you want out of a relationship - emotionally, physically, mentally," Heath says. "As a younger person, though, you might not know."
Knowing what you want to gain, Heath says, is one of the most crucial elements of having a successful relationship. It's possible that an older partner will be more eager to settle down or more comfortable going a step farther in a sexual relationship. Confusion can easily occur if the couple is unwilling to talk openly about their personal comfort levels. Also, she says that it might be difficult finding common interests to bond over.
Unlike some, Brown hasn't had any issues in those departments. She says that one of the main reasons she was drawn to Jay was because of his straightforward personality. Like herself, he gave open and honest answers that didn't leave her unsure of anything. Additionally, Brown could appreciate the fact that although there was a significant age difference, because of his time in the service, they were in similar stages of their lives.
"If he had been 28 and if he had had a career and a job and had been totally outside any realm of me, that would've been something where I would've been like, 'OK, let's take a major double look at this before I start dating you.'" Brown says. "But I feel like yes, he's much older, but we're in kind of the same boat. He just happened to have spent six years on a boat."
GAPS
MENTAL CHECK
After examining the physical and emotional boundaries in an age gap relationship, it's important to remember the psychological effect it might have on a person. According to Omri Gillath, an Associate Professor of social psychology, younger parties may subconsciously use their older partners as a replacement for their parents or as a security blanket. Inversely, older partners might see their younger halves as a fountain of youth. "It can give [the older person] a fresh perspective, or make you feel young again," Gillath says. "But it can also add stress because your partner isn't mature enough or doesn't have your life experience."
Couples with large age differences might face some judgment from the public. Although these types of Hollywood relationships receive criticisms from the public, they don't receive more or less than any other celebrity relationship, Heath says. She says that couples must be prepared to face the disapproval from their family and friends, because while they might have an ideal relationship, people looking in will draw their own conclusions.
Brown's family and friends have fully supported her relationship, and although problems can arise in age-gap relationships, she believes that everyone is capable of making it last as long as they're smart. "Just be wise," she says. "Are you a relatively stable, mature, self-sufficient person? Do you have good boundaries? Can you say no? A lot of those things are essential to any relationship, but especially if you're going to start dating someone older, you need to be aware that a lot more complications can come."
TAYLOR LEWIS
A TINSELTOWN TREND
TAKE A LOOK AT SOME VERY FAMOUS COUPLES WITH SOME VERY FAMOUS AGE DIFFERENCES.
BEYONCE
30
DEMI MOORE 48
CATHERINE ZETA-JONES 41
JAY-Z 42
KATIE LEE JOEL
29
COURTNEY STODDEN 16
ASHTON KUTCHER 33
MICHAEL DOUGLAS 33
BILLY JOEL 62
DOUG HUTCHINSON 51
09
15
11
MORGAN LAFORGE/KANSAN
Johanna Moon, a student at Cordley Elementary, loans on the front door of Lawrence Community Shelter early Thursday morning as she waits to go to school. There is a large number of families with children elementary age that are currently living here.
dmscott@kansan.com
Students know the challenges of waking up for that 8 a.m. class. But some students — much younger students — understand a different struggle. These students, along with getting up early, must make their way from the Lawrence Homeless Shelter. In the morning, a group of 17 children woke up and shared two showers and two toilets along side 14 adults. After getting ready they went up stairs and waited with 40 more adults for breakfast, or walked to school and received a free meal at school.
"Kids are so adaptable. The stressors we see are getting used to a new school and the stigma that may come with the label 'shelter kid' or 'homeless kid,'" said Jennifer Davis, the case manager at the Lawrence Community Shelter. "Luckily, so many of them are going to the same school that they
the past, it would be just one new kid coming from the shelter. He or she would stand out a little bit more."
According to the Kansas Point in Time Homeless Count for Douglas County, a biannual report, the Lawrence school district counted 100 children ages K-12 who were homeless in 2009 and 149 in 2011, accounting for a 49 percent increase.
The school district defines homeless under the McKinney-Vento Act, which includes families that are double-up or staying with family or friends.
The shelter began its Family Program at the end of 2008. In 2009, there were 14 families with 24 adults and 24 children in the program. In 2010, there were 50 families with 67 adults and 83 chil-
Davis has seen a dramatic increase in family homelessness in Douglas County.
Students could also decorate bandanas in honor of a victim of sexual assault and learn more about what sexual assault is and what resources are available for assistance with a different
viduals here struggling. Their selfesteem is being damaged each day they're here. Their self worth is
The main goals of the week were to increase awareness and educate the campus about sexual assault. Each day this week, volunteers had a table on Wescoe Beach set up where students could take a pledge to hold others accountable for their actions and try to put an end to sexual assault.
dren. So far this year, the shelter is serving 11 families with 14 adults and 21 children,17 of which are in school.
tion about the issue up front rather than waiting until the end of the year would help them navigate potentially dangerous situations better, she added.
"We have families and indi-
SEE HOMELESS|3
part of the week.
"We want to make sure they know how they can help and how they can be an advocate," said Heath. "And we want them to know its not just a women's issue. We want to make it okay for men on this campus to be able to talk about it seriously and try to help prevent it on our campus."
Today, volunteers will discuss the importance of bystander intervention. The GaDUGi SafeCenter will also host two events over the weekend to raise awareness and money to prevent sexual assault.
Index
Edited by Josh Kantor
CLASSIFIEDS 9
CROSSWORD 4
CRYPTOQUIPS 4
OPINION 5
SPORTS 10
SUDOKU 4
Don't forget
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