Volume 124 Issue 10
kansan.com
Thursday, September 1, 2011
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CONTACT
KANSAS IN HEAT // FROM FRIEND TO BOYFRIEND > Tackle the sticky world of relationships..
Question: I'm a graduate student at KU and I am in a potentially long-term relationship with a fellow graduate student of the female variety.
are going
Answer: Let me begin with the second question. I do not get the impression you want a "wild fling" or one-night stand. If your goal is to establish a connection, leading to an intimate, long-term relationship with your colleague, then why waste time and energy on an unsatisfying (emotionally and perhaps physically) tryst that might complicate things with the woman you truly desire.
My concern is that, despite being ready for such a relationship, despite having worked out a fair amount this summer, and despite gaining proficiency at some of the finer points of small talk and good dating practices, I still fall more into the "nice guy" category than the "sexy, marriagable guy" category. It has been a very long while since I've seriously engaged in any and all things "boyfriend."
Given how long it has been, how should I approach this relationship in such a way that both a stronger connection, and eventually sex, result? Second, should I wish to simply have a wild fling with one of the other scantily-clad women on campus or around town, how should I approach that differently?
People respond to confidence. Confidence is sexy! You mentioned a dedication to improving yourself inside and out. With this improvement comes confidence, with confidence comes attractiveness. But, don't confuse confidence with cockiness. Continue to be the "nice guy."
Contributed photo
Contributed photo Michelle MacBain is a graduate student from Kansas City. She studied sexuality, psychology and communication studies at KU and The University of Amsterdam.
As far as approaching the relationship, what steps have you taken to engage your object of affection in a romantic way? Have you even asked her out on a date? Communicate your desire and interest in her and gauge her reaction. Hopefully, she will be thrilled with the idea of going on a date with you. If not, then take your fit, confident, gentlemanly booty out to meet someone new!
Finally, remove the goal of sex from the forefront of your mind. The best sex is within a trusting, intimate and comforting relationship. This kind of relationship takes some time. If you rush her into the sack you will erase and destroy the connection you worked so hard to establish. Also, women can smell desperation a mile away and will avoid you like the plague!
MICHELLE MACBAIN
while, 11 of the top 40 recruits will be playing football in Austin, Texas this season.
A&M is making a move that will put them in the lower echelon of the top football conference instead of remaining in the upper echelon of one of the top conferences (albeit a very unstable one).
Quite simply, this is Texas A&M giving the finger to Texas for being better than them in nearly every way, shape and form. Instead of beating the Longhorns head-to-head, they decided losing more games in a better conference would be the proper form of revenge.
So now it's the Big 12's turn, as they can say goodbye to Texas A&M. You can be sure they will take pleasure in watching them get "whooped" more often than not.
Edited by Sarah McCabe
program joins the West Coast Conference.
Jan 19,2011
"firmly committed" to the Big 12 and that league officials knew Texas was pursuing a network deal.
University of texas president William Powers said Texas is
Aug 25.2011
Texas A&M president R. Bowen Loftin sends a letter to Big
12 commissioner Dan Beebe explaining that Texas A&M is considering leaving the Big 12.
Aug 30,2011
Texas A&M denies the Monday
New York Times report that it notified the Big 12 of its intention to leave the athletic conference.
become the 17th member of the Big East conference after leaving the Mountain West
Jul 1,2011
The Governors of Colorado and Utah deem June 30 'Pac-12 Day' as the Utah Utes and Colorado Buffaloes become official members of Pac-12.
Aug 29, 2011
The New York Times reports that
President R. Bowen
Loftin informed Big 12
Board Chairman Brady
Deaton that the Aggies
will officially withdraw from the
conference as early as Tuesday
Aug 29, 2011
of Pac-12.
Aug 31.2011
Texas A&M officially notifies the Big 12 of its intention to withdraw from the conference.
1
Sara McClinton and Chelsea Albers may each be in their first season with the Jayhawks, but coach Ray Bechard is counting on both of them to contribute, and contribute early. McClinton started all three of the team's victories in the season-opening Georgia Bulldog Invitational over the weekend, and Albers started both of the Saturday sweeps.
"We're going to put the best six out there, and sometimes that's a bit of a stretch for freshmen to do that," Bechard said. "But we have a bunch of confidence in both of those young ladies."
McClinton finished the weekend with 11 kills, including seven in the finale against Georgia. To secure her role as a starter for the season's first three games, McClinton had to play catch-up with the upperclassmen who stayed over the summer.
"I knew we had a good opportunity to compete with some of the upperclassmen for the spots, but you can't come in and expect to start," McClinton said. "You have to
it. That was my goal, to come in and start, but I guess I wasn't expecting it so soon."
work to achieve
Albers had an impressive first start on Saturday morning, recording six kills in the sweep against Liberty. She may have ensured her decor as a starter through a decorated high school career at Papillion LaVista, where she notched a state-leading 487 kills in 2009 was named the Omaha World-Herald's Girl's 2010-11 Athlete of the Year her senior season.
"That is a tough call," Bechard said. "You need to kind of get a sense for where you think the progress will be within the first month and if this is a kid that can help us by mid-
Starting so early is an unexpected perk for Albers, but it is one she said she plans on working hard to maintain. Both freshmen had to work hard just to avoid being redshirted by Bechard, who said the decision to sit and develop a player for a year is a difficult one.
"They have worked hard to include us and not make us feel like freshmen," Albers said. "Speaking for myself, I feel like they treat us like volleyball players and not by our age."
training in Italy, the freshmen were not permitted to tag along. Still, the upperclassmen have tried to make the Nebraska' natives feel at home, Albers said.
Since Bechard was hired as the coach of the volleyball team 14 years ago, he has had a player from Nebraska on his roster every season. Albers and McClinton first met as opponents in the state's notoriously competitive high school volleyball circuit. They would later come to know each other better as teammates at the even more competitive club level.
"Growing up in Nebraska, I think it gave us a huge advantage," McClinton said. "High school volley-
SEE VOLLEYBALL PAGE 8
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