WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31, 2011
PAGE 5
THE UNIVERSITY DAHY BANSAN
opinion
Text your FFA submissions to 785 - 289 - UDK1 (8351).
At least now Beyonce has something to put on her empty Oscar trophy shelf. J Huds knows what I'm talking about.
So when did Anchutz become a dating frenzy ... Take your lousy pick up lines elsewhere. Thanks.
FREE FOR ALL
I'm so excited for this football game. It gives me an excuse to be trashed by 6.
Dear freshmen brosephs from the rec. Do not try to add me on Facebook.
Woo hoo, drunk texts to free for all! ; P
Seriously, if you ride the elevator to the 2nd floor and have no obvious physical infirmity or deformity you will be judged, harshly, by everyone in it.
If I were a man, I'd marry the girl with the Dharma sticker on the back of her Mac. We'd never run out of things to talk about!
I'm saving my virginity for Donald Glover...thanks SUA :)
Ps I hope this is the free for all number and not some stranger who just found out way too much about my life.
Did the Underground take out its connectivity to make room for all the new tables?
OilMiltons Coffee in the Union,
how I have missed you so. Thank
you for brightening my week.
Everyone should just remain silent rather than boo Selby during Legends of the Phog.
Stop bashing townies. I live on campus, drive the speed limit and am tired of being stereo-typed!
My roommate just won 10 million dollars... Real life Entourage?
R. I.P. Brooklyn Pecker. You are already missed.
WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO FREE FOR ALL?
Text or call us your comments at (785)289-UDK1(8351) or email us at freeforall@kansan.com And don't worry, your comments will always stay anonymous.
EDITORIAL
Guarding against Brownback's radicalism
The University of Kansas is a place of learning, creativity and freedom. Unlike the brutal political climate in Washington DC, healthy discussion of diverse viewpoints takes place on the Hill. And for it to stay that way, administrators need to ensure that the ideas and interests of different viewpoints are represented in a fair and equal manner. They also need to be wary of any changes in the Board of Regents' fiscal policy.
For the most part, the University has accomplished its duty. But with Kansas now heading on a different road, paved by Governor Sam Brownback, administration must remain eager to uphold its own financial interests and student freedoms.
It's no secret that Brownback's politics
stretch far right. His history is intertwined with Tea Party representatives. He has pushed faith-based initiatives to support marriage and family in the state's welfare agency, and enacted aggressive anti-abortion bills. He also cut big state programs like the art agency. Political interests aside, Brownback is clearly bringing religious and ultra-conservative fiscal elements into state operations.
So, while Brownback has recently taken a greater interest in higher education with his high academic goals for regent institutions, administration must play a key role in making sure his religious-conservative policies don't seep into the University's operations.
It must also provide relief to students who are negatively affected by laws and
actions enacted by Brownback. This includes measures like one that has reduced students' abilities to get funding through Planned Parenthood, and an initiative to promote marriage and family that excludes gay and lesbian student couples.
Lawrence residents already have a shaky history with Brownback when he decided to close the Social and Rehabilitation Services Lawrence center. It took hundreds of protesting residents and funding from the city to keep the center operational. Essentially, a local government ended up paying for a state agency.
The slashing of the state's art center, and Brownback's stance that it should be funded by private donations, have led to
a loss of $700,000 in endowment grants and trouble for music groups relying on that money.
As an institution under the Board of Regents, in which Brownback appoints members, the University is a state operation. This means administration answers to the Board, which answers to Brownback. The University community, like the Lawrence SRS center, can easily be affected by bold changes to state laws.
Administration should be wary of changes in the state that threaten the autonomy the University enjoys. This will ensure an equal opportunity atmosphere, and an independent, University focused agenda.
LIFESTYLE
Vikaas Shanker for the Kansan Editorial Board
Really gay advice ... on staying dry
I don't know about you guys, but walking up these mountains in this humidity is really cramping my style. By the time I arrive to class, it looks like I've just given birth; there is just a small line of butt sweat running down the back of my shorts and if I had back fat, my sweat stains would look like tiger stripes.
I know it's disgusting, and that's why I need to drop this bomb in a public venue, so you too aren't avoiding raising your hand in class like the "unsure" people in the Sure deodorant commercials.
Staying dry is a choice, and it's my duty, as the gay columnist for the newspaper, to be stereotypical and talk about hygiene and other feminine things, so I've researched
several ways to help you avoid looking like a greased up pig throughout your academic day.
BABY POWDER
I'm not kidding. A little baby powder on your butt will do wonders on your comfort level during lectures. Just make sure no one smacks your butt — 'cause, you
know, people are always smacking my butt on campus. You might even throw some on your privates to mitigate any chaffing, or on your feet (yes, I'm talking to you, fratters who don't wear socks with their Sperry's).
SWEATBANDS
Why aren't more people wearing these? I sweat more than Whitney Houston in a fedora, so I love sweatbands. And you don't have to fix your hair! Winning!
MESH SHIRTS
I know, I know, there's only, like, a few weeks left until winter, so there isn't much time left for "shirts" that show off your nipples.
Get the most out of your summer by wearing mesh shirts until the clouds come out. This is also a great way for all you musical theatre and dance majors from small towns to indirectly come out (kidding, but seriously, these tops will help your body breath).
MAKE A FAN
Did you get a local band flyer shoved in your face while walking through campus? Fold it up and make a nice fan. You might as well get some use out of all that needless literature being aggressively forced into your hands every other day.
PERSONAL MISTER
That's mister, like water, not
MOVIES
"Mr." Pick up a hand-held personal mister next time you're at Wal-Mart or whatives. Yes, you will look like a snooty bi-otch, but at least you won't smell like the guy next to you with septum piercing who hasn't showered in a day ... or five.
It's hot as balls. Classes are full and the rooms are crowded, so don't make your neighbors suffer through an hour of your swampbutt funk. Hopefully these tips will be as useful to you as they have been to me. I hope I've reinforced as many gay stereotypes as possible in 500 words.
—Castle is a senior from Stilwell in political science and human sexuality
Talking upcoming superhero films
Let's all pre-judge next year's superhero movies.
When we were children, we were all taught to never judge a book by its cover. Alas, we do it anyways because sometimes books have awesome covers and we don't care what the Amazon reviews say about its lack of plot and character development. Now, because I have spent more than 22 years complaining — a doctor once heard me in the womb saying that my fetal development was "okay, but lacked imagination" — I have developed the ability to complain about things before they have even happened, like a really annoying psychic.
This past summer, we were given glimpses of three future superhero movies: "The Avengers", "The Dark Knight Rises" and "Man of Steel." I am not one to keep my gifts to myself, so please join me in prejudging them before they are even done filming.
I know we're talking comic books here, but I promise you jocks out there that I won't get too nerdy. If I do, feel free to take my lunch money.
First up, "The Avengers": If you are a nerd, or have nerdy friends, then you saw this much-anticipated teaser trailer. I don't even care that we barely know anything about it. I am pumped for this movie. Besides the fact that it's totally going to have Thor hitting things really hard — yeah, hitting things! — and Samuel L. Jackson saying awesome things like "Hello" (it sounds awesome when he says it), I'm just excited that it's really happening and isn't just the fever dream of a million nerd minds.
Next, "The Dark Knight Rises": Warner Bros. attached
a teaser trailer to the front of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 2" and we were treated to exciting images of bad-guy Bane doing sit-ups and then Bane climbing and then Bane walking. Really, just riveting stuff.
Warner Bros. also released an image of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, to which we collectively said, "Huh?" In the photo, Hathaway is riding Batman's bat-cycle and wearing Catwoman's signature leather jumpsuit, but is noticeably lacking any cat-themed accessories, like ears or claws. That, combined with some bizarre goggles, makes her look less like a diamond thief and more like a hacker/motorcycle bandit from the future (note to self: make movie about hacker/motorcycle bandit from the future).
Warner Bros. also released a publicity photo from the new Superman movie, "Man of Steel," starring Kevin Costner as Superman's dad and Russell Crowe as Superman's other dad. The photo shows Superman breaking into a bank vault (or something, the picture is really dark) and presumably getting ready to enforce truth and justice among other things.
Little is known about the film, so you can just go crazy with speculation. Does the addition of Kevin Costner mean its crossing over with "Field of Dreams?" Will General Zod discover that Superman's true weakness is hugs? Will I complain to my friends after seeing it?
The answers to those questions are: "Hopefully," "No" and "Yeah, prcbably."
Lou Schumaker is a senior in Film & Media Studies and English from Overland Park.
CAMPUS CHIRPS BACK
**SAMgoingHAM**
@JUK. Opinion 8am classes... If I'm going to sleep in class, I might as well sleep in my fabulous bed.
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@UDK_Opinion when on the first day of class you can't understand the professor or what he is lecturing on
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@UDK. Opinion One of my professors sounds like Charlie Brown's school teacher and gave us a seating chart in a 130 person class.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear UDK staff,
There's a series of dramatic indictments in Jason Bennett's recent piece, "Freeing Libya and the world is not the USA's job", though each one is either imprudent, misleading, or both. The protection of defenseless civilians is a responsibility that can't be shirked with invocations of contested constitutional scripture or backwards-moral reasoning. The decision to intervene in Libya must be viewed in two complimentary ways — as a low-risk, moral imperative, and as a strategically tenable effort to face our international responsibilities alongside our European and Arab allies.
First, Bennett complains that the United States has a storied history of disregarding human rights for strategic purposes. The charge is obviously indisputable. So, the more substantive question that readily presents itself is, is American involvement on the behalf of Libyan citizens somehow hypocritical? Is there something morally inconsistent about attempting to rectify a litany of shameful foreign policy directives, by finally making the right choice and backing the oppressed instead of the oppressors? I should think not.
As the article meanders along, it steadily devolves into careless esposals of rehased anti-war rhetoric and conspiratorial accusations about American imperialism. One of the most incredibly pervasive anti-war arguments of recent memory is, of course, proudly regurgitated, "If we're going to do Libya, don't we have to do North Korea, Syria, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and so on?" This line of thinking is baffling. It's virtually impossible to intervene wherever there is strife in the world, but how does this foreclose on the possibility of intervening anywhere? The charge proves especially frivolous when it comes to conflicts that have been sanctioned by the United Nations, the Arab League, our NATO allies, and a broad international consensus. From a strategic point of view, it would be a mistake to ignore such a widely issued call to arms. From a moral point of view, it would be the worst kind of capitulation – the failure to protect a long-suffering people from an indiscriminate massacre when it
would cost relatively little to do so.
Libya will not turn into another Iraq or another Afghanistan. The United States assumed a limited, supporting role with the express intent of avoiding a "decade-long quamgire." Mr. Bennett provides no evidence for his claims about how long the campaign in Libya may last - only a comment about Libya becoming "a breeding ground for terrorists and fanatics"; an ostensible reference to Iraq and Afghanistan. A quick reminder - Iraq was a state sponsor of terrorism before the war in 2003 and Afghanistan's government was controlled by terrorists prior to 2001. Near the end of the article, a bewildering, disingenuous sentence about "corporate and military interests powering neocolonialism in an oil-rich African state" is employed to describe America's involvement in Libya. This is flippant nonsense. It was an international effort to liberate a country, which has suffered for nearly half a century under the boot heels of a vicious megalomaniac. Frankly to confuse the two is disturbingly nonsensical.
Sincerely, Matthew Johnson
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Matthew Johnson Student
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Kelly Stroda, editor
864-8180 or kstroda@kansan.com
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864-8180 or jpeterson@kansan.com
Jonathan Shorman, managing editor
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Clayton Ashley, managing editor
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Mandy Mattey, opinion editor
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Vikaas Shanker, editorial editor
864-424 or vaikara@kasan.com
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kaanai Edison Board are Kelly Sroda,
Jeff Peterson, Joaishan Shannon, Vikaas Shanker, Mandy
Matthew and Steven Pen.