Moving in
Couples reveal what makes living together work and not work
By Heather Melanson hmelanson@kansan.com
Cohabitation was virtually unheard of before the sexual revolution during the 1960s. Today it's a completely different story. According to a 2008 study done as part of The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, the number of couples living together before marriage has skyrocketed 1,000 percent since 1970, accounting for almost 8 percent of couples in the United States. Even though cohabitation is a growing trend, the same study shows that couples who live together, with the exception of those who were engaged or committed to one another before living together, have a higher probability of divorcing up if they marry.
So, why is cohabitation becoming increasingly popular, even with evidence showing it may not be beneficial to the relationship? Here, couples share insight into what makes living together work, and sometimes not work.
High school sweethearts
The Rutgers study shows that married couples are happy, have more money, are healthy and tend to live longer, and these characteristics aren't as prominent when a couple who is unmarried lives together. Yet this study also reports that 43 percent of people between the ages of 20 and 29 said they would marry their partner only if he or she agreed to live together before they were married to see if they were truly compatible.
Shawnee senior, Candis Beattie, 22, and Jared Pannell, 22, have been dating for six and a half years and moved into their two-bedroom apartment in August. Their place is immaculately clean, and two cats are sprawled on the carpet. The couple, sitting side-by-side on an L-shaped couch, explains that living together is like being married and that they have the same respect for each other as a married couple would.
Although Beattie and Pannell aren't engaged, they do plan on marrying in the future. Pannell says he doesn't think couples need to have the goal of marriage in mind in order to live together. Both Beattie's and Pannell's parents are divorced, and living together isn't to make sure they
Photo Illustration by Jessica Sain-Baird Oh, the joys of living with your lover. Sure, it can be convenient and cheap, but such a big adjustment shouldn't be taken lightly.
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December 11,2008