CONTACT
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the feelings behind the phrase are absolutely certain before saying it "It has to be something you can't regret," she says.
They didn't say it back
At first, Erin Garity, Lansing senior, pretended not to hear her boyfriend when he would say "I love you" under his breath. Even though Garity admits she could hear him perfectly fine, she simply responded with, "What?" Garity says she needed time to digest the news and to gauge her own feelings. Two weeks later, Garity went to her boyfriend's apartment and eventually said the words, "I realized that saying 'I love you' is the best way to mean it," Garity says.
Saying "I love you" and not hearing it back is like that awful dream when you're naked in front of the whole school: you're vulnerable, exposed, and the embarrassment makes you want to crawl in bed with a bucket of ice cream. Although it seems impossible, you can recover gracefully from saying "I love you" before your partner is ready to hear it. Acknowledging the situation may not only ease the awkward tension, but it may also save the relationship.
"The worst thing you could do is have
that silence.” Titus says. “The best thing to do is say, 'I said that because I felt like I was ready to say it. Whatever you feel for me or want to say about how you feel is totally cool.' Even though it's an emotionally vulnerable situation, you have to be fearless."
I'm still not sure
Okay, so there may not be a black and white guideline for when to drop the "L" bomb on your partner, but the experts do agree on one thing: Trust your instincts. "It's up to your own personality and what you're comfortable with in terms of being vulnerable and putting yourself on the line." Puhn says.
Ultimately, it's up to you to make the final call depending on the unique circumstances of your relationship—but there is some help out there. Titus is launching a Web site that offers personalized relationship advice. Students can submit their relationship questions at www.whynasn'the.com, and will receive a video response within 24 hours. You can also sign up to receive email newsletters from Puhn, which include relationship advice and quizzes.
What has been your most embarrassing moment?
It would probably be one of the many times I fell on my face. One time that comes to mind was when I actually challenged a boyfriend to a race. I was like, 'I can run faster than you.' We took off, and I tripped and fell right on my face. I'm super clumsy and I've done that a number of times.
What are your holiday plans?
I'm staying here in L.A. with my family—my husband, my mom, my dad, my dad's sister. My husband is Jewish, so we will go do the Jewish thing after that. Basically we just do Christmas there, too.
What's your favorite alcoholic drink?
I don't drink. But when I did, I would probably say a Bloody Mary. It was like a meal and a drink all at once.
Definitely anything with vodka, but particularly Skyy Citrus Vodka mixed with pink lemonade. Or any of those fruity drinks. I love my fruity girl drinks.
How many traffic or speeding tickets have you received?
I used to get a ton. Now I'm a good driver. But I used to drive as a messenger for a living, so I actually had so many tickets that they wanted to suspend my license. I had to talk to a judge and they let me go. My husband would still say I'm a shitty driver, though.
Zero. I should have gotten one, but the cop accused my friend of being my prostitute. Her makeup was pretty slutty and pretty disgusting. My friend was offended, so the cop let me off.
Do you have a favorite YouTube video?
I do like that hamster one where it goes, 'Dun dun duuun,' and he just turns around and looks at you. But I have a better one with this crazy dog and this lady, and the dog attacks everyone's crotch. It's the best.
I'm a big fan of the video of Dolly Parton singing '9 to 5' at Disney World. It has the Disney princesses dancing on tables like strippers.
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