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'How you doin'?
Approaching women can be as simple as using a pickup line, but the real challenge is making a connection beyond a cheesy one-liner
By Matt Hirschfeld
mhirschfeld@kansan.com
Anna Kuklenko was hit with one of the worst pickup lines—ever.
She and a friend attended a concert in Lawrence, and caught wind of what bar the band was going to be at after the show. At the bar, the Overland Park senior and her friend starting chatting with a few of the band members, who proceeded to buy them drinks. Kuklenko and her friend sensed it was their time to leave, and then the pickup line stopped them cold.
"By the end of the night, one of them, in a dead serious tone, was like, 'Man, I could seriously take you back to my hotel room and cut a hole open in your head and fuck your brains out.'" she says.
The two friends spent the rest of the night figuring out how they could get away from the guy, as he kept pleading with them to come to his hotel room. Kuklenko and her friend eventually managed to dart out of the bar when the band member was distracted.
Pickup lines should never make anybody feel uncomfortable, says Jay Schultz, expert in the "Neil Strauss Stylelife Academy," an online program to which men can sign up to learn skills for attracting and meeting women. If you feel confident in using a goofy or funny pickup line, go for it, Schultz says. It's going to start the conversation and make everyone feel comfortable.
Schultz says that if you start to talk to a woman and she begins to reveal her personality, then that should become more important than the initial reason you decided to approach the woman.
"If you're only after a woman for what you saw when you first looked over at her, and you're not out to find out more about her, she'll use her womanly intuition that every woman has and know that's your agenda and it's not going to work out for you," Schultz says.
Jessica Stanley's intuition was a tad off when her girl friends left her at a bar because of a mix-up. The
Olathe senior ended up sitting outside the bar and crying.A random guy came up behind her to see if she was okay, she says, and he listened to her rant about her friends, made casual conversation and offered her a ride home. Stanley already had a different ride lined up, but she did get the guy's number.
He had seemed genuinely interested in just wanting to talk with her and not overtly trying to pick her up. Stanley says, which made her less hesitant about getting his number. Amusing pickup lines do initiate interest for her, but only if the guy presents himself in a respectable manner.
"If a guy comes at me completely hammered, and clearly wanting more than to just get to know me, then it's like, 'Gross, get off me,' and I act like Cher off Clueless: 'Ugh, as if!'" she says.
Men shouldn't rely on parties or bars to meet women, says Dusty White. author of The Easiest Way to Meet and Pick Up Girls—EVER!!
"Girls are not from some other planet, no matter what that crazy psychologist who wrote that crappy book says." White says.
When approaching girls in places such as a grocery store, laundromat, library or at a bus stop, White says it appears more natural and circumstantial and takes a lot of pressure off the man. The less pressure, he says, the easier it is to say hello.
Casey Briner says it's better when guys approach her in more casual atmospheres, such as when she's shopping, because both parties' judgment is less impaired and they have more control of the situation, as opposed to in a bar.
Pickup lines sometimes spark interest for the Flower Mound, Texas, freshman, but only if they aren't too sexual. "Instead of doing a sexual one-liner like, 'The word of the day is legs. Let's go home a spread the word.' That wasn't a good one. But just being goofy and showing you're not afraid to laugh and have a good time works best," she says.
Photo Illustration by Julienne Kueffer While dropping a pickup line is a great way to get a girl's attention, you'd probably have better luck with a more natural, casual approach.
Testing the pickup line waters
Dusty White, author of The Easiest Way to Meet and Pick Up Girls—EVER!! says pickup lines are annoying phrases that make a guy look uncreative and obnoxious when trying to meet women.
I defied White's advice and ventured to a couple Lawrence bars to record my own success rate with some of the more tame (although still dirty) pickup lines. Here are my favorites, and the reactions they got from women.
Pickup line: "Hey, I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend."
Reaction: Gave me a nasty look and turned her back.
Pickup line: "Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."
Reaction: Let out a half-sigh/half-laugh, but told me she already had a boyfriend.
Pickup line: "You look so sweet you are giving me a toothache."
Reaction: Smirked and walked away.
Pickup line: "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together."
Reaction: Laughed hysterically and continued to talk to me until I had to divulge the real reason I dropped the one-liner.
Pickup line: "Did you wash your clothes in Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants."
Reaction: Took a moment to process what I had said, then scoffed and stormed off.
Go to www.pickuphelp. com for more.
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December 11,2008
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