NOTICE
Fall fashions, part 1
You may wonder how I could squeeze an entire clothing season into two columns, but alas, my readers, a two-part fall fashion miniseries awaits you. I would bet my new pair of boots—134 euro, if you need to know—that you already know enough about the basics: sweaters, boots and colors. But it's the subtle European nuances that you might be unaware of.
The first order of business is to understand the importance of having a lightweight trench coat in your wardrobe.The beauty of the trench is that it's a multiseasonal piece. A trench is essential for the mid-temperature months between winter and spring, and is also an asset for any chilly April shower that may pop up.
The trench isn't necessarily unpopular in Lawrence or the United States, but what I've noticed in the four falls I've
By Chris Horn chorn@kansan.com
are adequate, but deserve an upgrade.
Cotton should be the key material of your trench. The natural fiber is heavier than polyester, and cotton's greater density makes it a warmer option. In terms of style, look for a trench that sits just above the knee and is tailored in a slim fit. This gives the body a nice line that creates an illusion of height.
Color options are endless, so let your personality dictate which color suits your lifestyle or look. If you have a flashier wardrobe, go for a brightly colored trench in yellow, green or red.If you prefer a more classical look, it's best to stick with the basic khaki, navy or black trench. Note: Do remember that mythical color restraints-black versus brown, for example—definitely do not pertain to your coat.
Tailoring is key, so if you find yourself lost in a hoard of oversized coats, simply find a trench that works with your style and budget, purchase it and send it to a tailor for alterations. Prices may vary, but from my experience, tailoring a coat should cost about $30.
Coats are an important investment, and your trench shouldn't be an exception. A new trench will last for years and will always stay in style. Burberry has been around since 1856, and its iconic trench is still a mainstay on the racks. God knows it was the piece I looked to for guidance when I purchased my Zara knock-off last year.
Mother Nature gave us a fashion hint when she decided to change the color of the leaves every fall. The season offers the best time to alter your style, and what better way to make that change than by adding a European-inspired trench coat to your fall ensemble?
Next issue: scarves
WESCOEWIT
Geology TA 1! I've never been to a Halloween party with so many great costumes.
Geology TA 2: Yeah. I was surprised there were no geology costumes, though.
Geology TA 1: Wade was going to be slutty granite, but he chickened out.
Guy I: I've heard Angelina Jolie is a huge bitch.
**Guy 2:** The meanest celebrity I ever met was Andrew Dice Clay.
**Guy 1:** (pause) Honestly, I have no idea who that is.
Girl: (to guy friend) I thought of you the other day. I saw a cactus shaped like a penis. I thought of us.
Guy: I want a Pikachu tramp stamp.
Girl: Some guy at Wal-Mart tried to hit on me. And then I saw he had diapers in his shopping cart, and I was like,"You're clearly a baby daddy"
Guy: You don't know that. Maybe those were his diapers.
**Guy 1:** I'm making a movie this weekend and I need your help.
**Guy 2:** Oh yeah? What can I do?
**Guy 3:** Give me $150.
Guy: The best thing about B.B. King is that he's got, like, 22 kids—all of them illegitimate—but he's been married seven times. Think about that for a second.
Guy I: Haitian Bleu coffee sounds really
yummy.
**Guy I:** You invented something called a "meat boat?"
Guy 2! Even Haitian boat people know better than Taster's Choice.
Girl: I voted for Obama because he's the one I want to see on TV comforting us when zombies take over the world.
Guy 21 Yeah, it's a hot dog wrapped in chili wrapped in a tortilla. But the problem with the "meat boat" is that there are never enough toilets.
**Guy:** Leftovers are for pussies.
**Girl:** That's what my grandma says.
**Guy 1:** Stevie Ray Vaughn has to be the best Austin City Limits act ever.
**Guy 2:** Oh yeah, he's completely coked-out and just pouring sweat.
**Guy 1:** With a look on his face like he's smelling the worst fart ever.
**Guy 1:** I've got this new book that would take all my Libertarian friends to task.
**Guy 2:** Wait, you have more than one Libertarian friend?
**Guy 1:** Oh yeah. Brian's a Libertarian.
**Guy 2:** Brian's not a Libertarian. Brian's just a selfish prick.
Girl: I love finding out people are gay. It's my favorite thing in the whole world.
Girl: (on phone) I'm just telling you, I can't drink with you on Tuesdays anymore... Because my mom said she'd kill me if I get a B in aerobics.
Guy: I want a mustache like that. It's like two caterpillars fighting.
Girl 1: What are you going to wear tonight?
Girl 2: A shirt that says, "Will have sex for free."
**Guy:** (listening to Nelly's "Country Grammar") I think this is the first song I ever threw up a gang sign to.
—Matt Bechtold
November 20,2008
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