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years, and Honsy, Wichita senior, says the most significant difficulty for the couple was the need to live on their own to gain confidence without being dependent on one another. Honsy says he was glad to have someone through all the changes that went on during college.
"It helps having someone next to you to go through that with," he says.
Honsy says that in college, the issue of independence arises more than it did in high school. In college, both he and Berger felt they needed to establish themselves as being independent.
"Being able to spend enough time with each other while still giving each other enough space to still not feel trapped—I think that was the biggest issue with transitioning," he says.
Totta says that if a relationship is secure enough to allow individuality and space, it is more likely to last than a relationship in which a couple is entirely fused together.
"It would be rare that people can grow and change if they're going to demand too much togetherness," Totta says. "They have to realize that they are kind of closing in on their world."
Kyle Reid and Chance Penner's
world actually became bigger when they discovered a larger gay population at the University than they had in their hometown of Andover.The freshmen couple has been dating for two years, and Reid and Penner agree that along with more opportunities to socialize with other gay people, more temptation is present, too.
Penner says they thought about taking a break from their relationship when they came to the University, but decided not to because it would be more comfortable to start a transition such as college with a significant other.
"We're pretty much an old married couple. We bicker and fight, but we get past it." Penner says.
Totta has counselled several married couples who met in high school, and she says it's amazing when couples manage to survive after being together for so long.
"It has happened," Totta says. "And it's beautiful when you see it."
October 30.2008
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