NOTICE
WESCOEWIT
**Guy 1:** (talking about the presidential debate) Obama is going to walk out, punch McCain in the face, and walk off.
**Guy 2:** I would watch that. Except I think McCain would actually win in a fight.
**Guy 1:** How? By gumming him to death?
Guy: I'll be there in a jumpsuit and a fedora. What are you guys going to wear?
Guy 1: You going to get a fish taco?
Guy 2: Nah, I get enough of that in the dorms.
**Guy:** (singing) Teddy Grahams, oh, Teddy Grahams...
**Girl:** Hey, what are you eating?
**Guy:** Damn, girl. I said Teddy Grahams.
Girl: (on phone) You could never be a college athlete...Yeah, well, speed walking to class doesn't count.
Guy: I'll vote for whoever can help me achieve my American dream,and that dream is having a cheese tube permanently installed in my mouth.
Girl: (on phone) I think I just got double- teamed by Jesus.
Guy I: She said I was erratic in bed last night.
Guy 2: So does that mean you were sloppy?
Guy I: I don't know. I did move around a lot.
Guy 1: What is that?
Guy 2: A cellular telephone. I'll tell you about them later.
Guy I: What is that?
**Girl:** Are you going to be one of Palin's Joe Six-Packs tonight?
**Guy:** You know it!
Girl: My grandparents are all about orgies.
Girl: She was blasting Disney music the whole time I was reading. I could hear her singing to all the Hercules songs.
Guy: I love Hercules.
Guy: I like white shoes the best You just have to be ready to buy a new pair every week when you spill beer all over them.
Guy: (looking at another guy) Wow,that's a serious eyebrow. Is he a cyclops?
Sean Rosner
TOMORROW'S NEWS:
The Something Store
Everyone loves receiving a surprise gift, but who says giving a gift can't be a surprise, as well? With The Something Store, it can be.
The process is simple: You give the store $10, and it sends you something.
That something is an item selected at random from the company's warehouse. A pair of jeans, a kitchen appliance or even electronics such as iPods or video games are all fair game. Sami Bay, director of operations for The Something Store, says the company boxes up items according to how many orders it receives. When the time comes to ship the orders, an employee grabs a box, puts an address on it and sends it out.
Bay came up with the idea while shopping for a gift for a friend.
"After searching for almost an hour, I couldn't decide what gift to buy for him," Bay says. "That's when I thought.'What if somebody simply decided for me?"
Bay says the company buys its gifts in large quantities from wholesalers and closeout sellers, which allows it to regularly send out products that would normally
cost more than $10. He says the most expensive thing the company ever sent out was a laptop that cost about $670.
Photo illustration by Ryan McGeeney
For more information, or to order something, visit www.somethingstore.com.
—Sean Rosner
Omelette Bar
We offer 15 items including:
Carving Station
Assorted Desserts
Made to Order Waffles
Prime Rib Carving
Eggs Benedict
Fresh Fish
Station
Different Quiche
Pasta Feature
each week
ALL YOU CAN EAT
October 23,2008
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