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How much sex is too much sex with one person before health issues arise?
—Dave, sophomore
Francesca: Actually, frequent sex with the same person can be better for your health than occasional sex.
A 2004 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that men between the ages of 20 and 29 who said
they ejaculated more than 21 times a month were 33 percent less likely to develop prostate cancer than men who ejaculated only three to seven times a month.
When a man ejaculates he is not only releasing sperm from his body, but he is ex-
creting substances that could potentially cause cancer if left in the body for too long. This is why older men, who are less likely to be having sex than college students, are more likely to develop prostate cancer. So please, don't stop. Having sex with your girlfriend, that is.
In addition, more health risks are related to having sex with multiple partners than with just one person. If you are having sex with only one person, you are at a lower risk of contracting a potentially fatal sexually transmitted infection, unless, of course, your partner has an STI. In that case, you are probably just as likely to contract an STI from him or her as you are from anyone else you would have a one-night stand with if you're using protection.
Matt: I have good and bad news,but first I won't give you the STI talk. You're
a big boy. I'll assume you wrap it before you tap it.
Like Fran, I found a similar 1997 study by Queens University that tracked 1,000 men's sexual lives over the course of a decade. It found that men who enjoyed the highest frequency of orgasms lived twice as long as the other lagging men. Other benefits include improved sense of smell, better teeth, weight loss, reduced depression and better bladder control, among many others.
So, do yourself a favor and take a breather; both for you and for your penis. Sometimes the benefits of a lot of sex don't outweigh not having a functional penis to enjoy the benefits.
However, obstetrician and gynecologist George Winch, Jr. found that too much rough sex can damage penile tissue.
If a guy has your number, saves you a seat every day in class,and it seems like he's into you but never calls, does that mean he's shy or what?
—Helen, freshman
Francesca: I hope you have Facebook stalked this guy and found out if he is single and straight already. That information alone could answer your question.
Beyond that, I would unfortunately say that he sees you only as a friend. If he were really into you, he would invite you out or ask if you wanted to "study." I hate to be a downer, but there are guys in several of my classes who I am friendly with but in whom I have no romantic interest. And I get the feeling that they feel the same way about me, otherwise they would have made a move by now.
And my disinterest in them has nothing to do with the level of attraction. One study buddy is very attractive—and smart too! There's just no spark between us. But there might be if we talked more on a personal level. We've just never had a conversation outside of class.
On the other hand, why don't YOU invite HIM over? For all you know, he's sitting around asking his friends the same question. He may even be intimidated by your good looks and intelligence at first.
Matt: Many studies have shown that men are more aggressive than women, such as one done by Linda Babcock, an economics professor at Carnegie Mellon University. She had 74 people play the
word game Boggle and the people were told they would be paid anywhere from $3 to $10.After playing, each person was given $3 and asked if the sum was okay. Eight times more men than women asked for more money.
The men asking for more money is like your friend asking you on a date. He's sticking with the $3, and just wanting to be friends. Three dollars is still better than zero, so don't let that deter you from taking the leap and asking him out yourself.
Babcock does suggest that if women do take the initiative,go for a cooperative approach to ask him out to not seem to come on too strong. This can be a casual group date or party—something that he doesn't really need to commit to and by which you won't be too devastated if he stands you up. Find a balance, and he will come.
Bitch and Moan should not be taken as a substitute for professional, expert advice.
Send us your sex and relationship questions at bitchandmoan@kansan.com.
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September 25,2008