8D
SEX ON THE HILL
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 18, 2008
Students confess sex stories, fantasies and opinions
BY NATALIE BROWN nbrown@kansan.com
SEX BLOOPERS
If you're wondering what "sex bloopers" are, think of them as deleted scenes from the bedroom (or alternative locations). These outtakes are the moments that make people wish they could travel back in time to alter their respective paths, preventing them from ever experiencing that profound humiliation. It's a good thing they can't, though, because it provides the rest of us with sheer entertainment. For some, these stories inspire the comforting feeling that they're not alone. Having the opportunity to interview those who lived these tantalizing stories has been rather amusing. Despite the reluctance students have in spilling their dirty little secrets, they should rest assured that no matter how kinky, freaky, or creepy they may think their experiences are, there's always someone out there who's got a one-up on them. If you don't believe me, read on.
"One time, I left a bar and ended up having sex with a girl in a dumpster behind it. While we were having sex, a fight broke out in the parking lot, so the cops showed up. I had to quiet the girl as we had to stay there and hide out for a while. Oh, Cinco de Mayo 2007!" — Ben Trotter, Orlando, Fla., junior
high school, I had a boyfriend that was two years older than me. Needless to say, he was a bit more experienced than myself. So when we were having sex one time and he told me to talk dirty — and I never had before — I responded with, 'Do me?' Then he stopped and looked at me and said 'What?' So I tried it again with saying 'Bang me!' Then he just shook his head and laughed" — Kathleen Zarda, Shawnee sophomore
"So I was having this one night stand with a guy and, you know, whatever. Well, afterwards he wanted to go again, but I said no because it was five in the morning. So instead, while he was laying in the bed next to me, he decided to just grab my boobs and jack off. I was mortified!" — Lynn Eaton, Overland Park junior
"When I was a sophomore in
"So this girl I was talking to in a bar convinced me to go outside and, let me say, we were pretty hammered when we started hooking up. Unfortunately, we both realized we didn't have a car there to get to either of our places so we just started messing around there. So of course we ended up taking our clothes off and having sex in the grass behind the bar Crimson and Brews. But what we didn't realize was that we ended up on the sidewalk in front of cars until a person driving by stopped to yell 'Get a room!'" — Pablo White, Sacramento, Calif., senior
"This girl that I was dating was giving me head and after the first time she said she didn't want me to cum in her mouth. So the second time I ended up ejaculating in her right eye. Her contact ended up burning so bad afterwards that I had to take her to the hospital." — Sachin Teli, New Jersey senior
"I was a freshman in high school when this girl that I was dating at the time was volunteering with me at my church. While we were volunteer she pulled me into the bathroom and ripped my pants down and gave me my first hand-job." John Karalekas, Chicago sophmore
"One time me and this guy were going hard at it in my best friends bed when they guy I was with slipped out. But when he slipped back in, he accidentally went in the wrong hole. After that, I couldn't sit for a week and I bled for three days ... out of the wrong hole." — Anna Williams, Wameweo. Kan. senior
Photo illustration by Ryan McGeeney/KANSAN
"One time my ex-girlfriend was giving me head when I came in her mouth. There was so much that it also shot over her head and onto her sweatshirt. The next day, she ended up wearing it the whole day without even realizing it was covered in cum." — Ben Trotter, Orlando, Fla., junior
"My ex-girlfriend came over once and at the time I was eating a cherry Popsicle and she asked me
to go down on her while my tongue was still cold. She came repeatedly and I thought, 'Hey, if she loved my cold tongue, shed love the whole popsicle!' But when I stuck it in her she screamed bloody murder and said it felt like her ovaries were on fire. I laughed until she punched me in the face. I'm almost positive she hasn't had a Popsicle since." — Ross Goldberg, Chicago senior
WOULD YOU MAKE LOVE IN THE CLUB?
"Hell yeah, but I gotta have a condom." — Emanuel Holmes,
Kansas City junior
"No, because you never know what diseases you could catch." — Ashley Ferguson, Overland Park senior
"Yeah, I'd do it on the couch,
on the table, on the bar, and on
the floor" — Christina Hernandez,
Olathe junior
"In a bar, it would have to be a spot that no one could get into. So you probably can't find that in a bar." — Robert Rebori, Shawnee Mission missonoff.com
"Yeah, probably on the dance floor while everyone's dancing around us." — Connor Koch, Shawnee sophomore
SEE CONFESSIONS ON PAGE 9D