12C SEX ON THE HILL
THE UNIVERSITY OF DARRY KANSAN
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2008
Figuring out all the gears of your partner's
BY BARBARA PLATTS
bplatts@kansan.com
He slips her dress off her back
He slips her and they start kissing as she unbuttons his pants. Before they know it, all undergarments have disappeared. Sex is something that we all are exposed to in one way or another, but
how are we triggered to "do the dirty"?
Lisa Thomas, a certified sex therapist from Denver, said emotional needs could get people in the mood.
of emotions running through the relationship.
"I love make-up sex," Wembe said,
"I like having sex where there is
"The need to feel closer to someone and also to feel in control of one's relationship are two things that drive us sexually."
Haley Wenthe, Salina freshman, said sometimes she couldn't get in the mood.
"The need to feel closer to someone and also to feel in control of one's relationship are two things that drive us sexually," she said. But emotions can put someone in the mood to stop it just as quickly.
"When I feel gross, I usually can't," she said. "If I'm having one of those days when I feel bad about myself, I am definitely not in the mood to have sex."
LISA THOMAS
Certified sex therapist
Make-up sex or break-up sex may get sex drive up. During these times, the tone of sex can often change due to the high level
that arouses the dirty thoughts and desires.
a little animosity involved."
Other factors also contribute to sex drive. Certain foods are used as aphrodisiacs, such as oysters, chocolates and strawberries. Aphrodisiacs are something
However, food can't do all of the magic.
"The atmosphere that accompanies the food is important," Thomas said. "The mood is part of the aphrodiasiac."
Drugs like alcohol are a common strategy for increasing sex drive as well. When alcohol is
"Men have trouble — 'whiskey
added, it lowers mental inhibitions. With lowered inhibitions, risk-taking is much easier. After drinking, though, it is difficult for men to get an erection.
dick,' as it's called," Thomas said. "They lose their ability to have an erection. This is only for some guys, though."
Students had mixed reactions about using alcohol before sex.
"It makes it sound more appealing," Kristen Shehan, Wichita freshman, said. "You're willing to do a lot more things you wouldn't normally do."
Although Shehan admitted that alcohol enhanced the mood, she also thought too much alcohol could ruin it.
"If I'm having one of those days when I feel bad about myself, I am definitely not in the mood to have sex."
Alcohol seems to be the most circulated drug around college campuses; however, other drugs have been used in the past to help couples gain a sex drive and a special connection with one another.
"Ecstasy was prescribed to
couples in the "70s," Thomas said. "Some doctors would tell couples to use it so they could connect better sexually."
HALEY WENTHE
Salina freshman
Cocaine was a popular artificial stimulant as well. Men, particularly
porn stars in the '80s, used this drug because it allowed them to be erect for hours without having an orgasm.
Something else to consider is gender. Men and women vary
greatly in sexual pleasures and preferences. Susan Hubbard, a licensed clinical worker from Boulder, Colo., said men often didn't have as many feelings during in sex because of their biological makeup.
Photo illustration by Ryan McGeeney/KANSAN
"Boys' bodies, particularly when
they are young, trigger the need for sex," Hubbard said. "At such a young age, it is a very high time for testosterone, even when they are depressed or in a bad mood their bodies are still very genitally driven."
With women, sex is a much more mental act and is usually not driven in a physical way.
"It often has more to do with feeling close to someone." Hubbard said. "They need some degree of comfort and trust."