10C
SEX ON THE HILL
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2008
Q&A
BY ALICIA BANISTER editor@kansan.com
We have questions, they have answers: let's talk relationships
TAIA CORDEL,
HUTCHINSON, KAN.,
SOPHOMORE
A. Once again, I think this is a personal decision. I, myself, would not engage in any kind of activity with someone if I had no intention of talking to them again. It kind goes back to the standards question.
Q. After having sex, do you usually talk to them again?
Q. As a rule, do you or your friends have a policy or unwritten rules as to how long to wait to have sex or to wait before you will do something with a guy?
A. I think each person, girl or guy, takes the seriousness of a relationship differently depending on their thoughts on the other person. I mean, a guy may be an asshole to one girl but a complete gentleman to another just because of first impressions, things he has heard, or even the way the girl herself holds herself up. It's all a mindset and a game — you can't help who you are attracted to and who you like. so after the initial crush the seriousness, to me, of a relationship is basically determined by who creeps who out less. Haha.
Q. Do you feel the opposite sex takes relationships as seriously as your gender takes them?
A. Guys and girls are the same.
I think everyone has standards of some sort. For both guys and girls, if you hold yourself to a certain standard others will have to at least respect you to that same standard.
Q. Who do you think are more likely to have one night
Q. Referring to the first question, if you did have a rule, do you think the opposite sex has the same kind of standards?
A. No, I personally don't have a rule as to when certain things progress with a guy. I think it completely depends on each situation. Each relationship starts in a different way, progresses in a different way, and ends in a different way. I personally don't think that every situation needs to have a deadline. If you want to wait, then you wait. If not, then you can choose for yourself when you want to progress your relationship.
stands, women or men and why?
A. I think men are more likely to have one night stands only because it seems more acceptable for guys to have one night stands than girls.
Q. Do you think that the number of partners women or men have in comparison are based upon something genetically or do you just think the individual makes their own decisions?
A. I don't think it is genetic. But society does have an effect. When guys hook up with a girl there usually isn't an assumption there is a heartfelt connection, but when girls hook up with a guy most would assume she should have some deep romantic feelings toward him. That, plus the negative reputation for girls would make me think that guys on average would have a few more sexual partners. Guys could have a negative reputation but unlike girls they could spin it to their advantage. Most girls, although we don't admit it, want the stereotypical "bad boy" because we want to be "that girl" that makes them change. But I don't know many guys that would want to jump right into a relationship with someone who easily sleeps around.
Q. Based upon your friends, guys and girls alike, do you think both genders view sex the same? Do you feel guys or girls take it more seriously?
A. I know some guy friends and some girl friends who have very similar views on sex. Some are very conservative and others not so much. I completely believe that a your feelings on sex completely it depends on the person you're with. So, I don't think any one gender takes sex more seriously than another.
JARED EAGLEBURGER,
AITKIN, MINN.,
GRADUATE STUDENT
Q. As a rule, do you or your friends have a policy or unwritten rules as to how long to wait to have sex or to wait before you will do something with a girl?
THE
THU
A. I don't have a "rule" so much as just use my discretion and gauge how things are progressing. I do not however usually kiss on the first date. First dates are usually a bit nerve-wracking and sometimes awkward. I don't want my first kisses with girls to be awkward, sets
a bad tone. It does depend, however, on how well I know someone before we start dating, that might speed things up a little bit regarding sex and all that goes with it. Usually if she initiates it and I feel confident she feels comfortable with it I will go as far as it takes us. No expectations however once we get started with making out or whatever.
Q. Referring to the first question, If you did have a rule, do you think the opposite sex has the same kind of standards?
A. I have no idea what women are thinking so I can't begin to assume they have the same standards as I. However, with that said, usually the women I have dated seem to have fairly similar values and standards as I do. But, as we all know, toss a few drinks in there — or a lot — and those standards, values, and rules can be quickly revised or eliminated completely.
Q. Do you feel the opposite sex takes relationships as seriously as your gender takes them?
A. I guess I don't usually talk to them again if it was a random one night hook up situation. But if she were to give me a call wanting to get together again I would probably consider it depending on how the first night had gone.
Q. After having sex do you usually talk to them again?
A. it's hard to generalize and speculate about something like that, but I would say my personal history would point to girls taking things a bit more seriously, and usually a lot more quickly. I think guys take things pretty seriously at times, however I think it takes a lot more for guys to show it or even tell anyone about it. He might feel it but probably won't show it, not for a long time at least. It all comes down to communicating those feelings or not.
Q. Who do you think are more likely to have one night stands, women or men and why?
A. I honestly don't know. It takes two to have a one night stand so for every one night stand that a guy has there needs to be a girl, in these cases at least. If I had to venture a guess I would say that girls have just as many one night stands. However society has taught them that one night stands are a bad thing for girls so its just not talked about as much by them.
Are you leaving the most important part of your body exposed? Just because they
Too bad they don't make one for your heart.
say it's safe doesn't mean sex can't be dangerous emotionally. While you're saying
"I love you," your partner may be thinking "I love it." For some different ideas on love, sex and relationships; see the feature article "Sex and the Search for Intimacy"
on the Web at www.kucru.com
kucru.com
Q. Based upon your friends, guys and girls alike, do you think both genders view sex the same? Do you feel guys or girls take it more seriously?
A. I'm not sure you can attribute the level of promiscuity of someone to their genetics, per se. You could possibly attribute personality traits and sexual drive to genetics though, and those may play a role in the number of partners one pursues.
A. I like to think that we all take sex seriously but we don't all take it seriously all the time. Depending on your situation in life sex could be a very serious issue but on the other hand it might just be something that happens and you enjoy, not so serious at that particular time.
Q. Do you think that the number of partners women or men have in comparison are based upon something genetically or do you just think the individual makes their own decisions?
— Edited by Rachel Burchfield