SEX ON THE HILL
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2008
5C
Road to sexual awakening can be experimental
BY KELLY GIBSON
editor@kansan.com
Patrick Cunningham, Washington, D.C., junior, has a relationship track record that is far from "the norm."
"I had a habit of dating a girl for three to five months, realizing she's not any fun anymore and moving on to someone else." Cunningham said.
Often dating within his friend circle, bouncing from one girl to the next, Cunningham was surprised when one relationship lasted an entire year.
"I caught myself looking for rings online," Cunningham said. "I thought I was going to marry her."
But like all good stories, good things are bound to come to an end.
Cunningham was in a summer camp for art and music. His roommate introduced him to a friend, and Cunningham fell off the monogamy boat.
"She was really my type," he said. "It ballooned into this hot, steamy love affair. It was something I knew I wasn't supposed to do, this whole forbidden fruit thing."
Cunningham said he was terrified his girlfriend would find out.
"After I got back from the camp, the physical aspect of our relationship lessened quite a bit," Cunningham said. "They're best friends now, and I'm pretty sure
One year after the affair, Cunningham came out to his girlfriend. He realized he was gay when a close friend came out to him.
my ex-girlfriend still doesn't know I slept with her friend."
"I felt really strange about it and then I realized I was actually really jealous of him," Cunningham said.
After growing up in a household that was not accepting of homosexuality, Cunningham was conflicted. He attributed his unhappiness in heterosexual relationships to his upbringing.
"I think I was trying to prove to myself that I wasn't gay," Cunningham said. "I had been raised to believe that I needed to find a girlfriend, and there was a lot of pressure to have sex."
Cunningham experimented with his sexuality. He started a sexual relationship with his old roommate from music camp, the same one who had introduced him to the girl a year before. While he began to embrace his sexuality, he was still uncomfortable and kept the relationship a secret from his parents.
Since starting college, Cunningham embraced his sexuality more fully and is very happy in his current, two-year long relationship.
"While sexuality is always rooted in our body realities, it is much larger than these, always involving our minds, our feelings, our wills, our memories and
indeed our self-understanding and powers as embodied persons," James Nelson, professor emeritus of Christian ethics at United Theological Seminary, wrote in his book "Sexuality and the Sacred."
Chelsea Brown, Olathe sophomore, also experimented physically to explore her sexuality.
Brown's experimentation included a threesome with a good guy friend and another girl.
"Both were enjoyable," she said. "When you have the same stuff, you know how to use it."
The relationship faded between Brown and the girl, but she maintained an on-again-off-again casual, sexual relationship with the guy.
"There was never really a monogamous relationship. Whenever we would get out of another relationship, one of us would call the other one up and it would start all over again. He told me once that we could never really date," Brown said. "I was completely in love with him. I think I still am, a little."
Brown now identifies herself as bisexual and claims her unrequited love affair affects other relationships because she knows she can never feel as deeply for other partners as she did for him.
"At the risk of sounding cliché, I just love being loved," Brown said.
Edited by Kelsey Hayes
EARN $40 TODAY. $80 THIS WEEK.
*Eligible new donors
CASH IN YOUR POCKET. DONATE PLASMA. IT PAYS TO SAVE A LIFE.
816 W. 24th Street Lawrence, KS 66046 785.749.5750 • zlbplasma.com
Fee and donation times may vary. New donors bring photo ID, proof of address and Social Security card.
ZLB Plasma Good for You. Great for Life
Photo illustration by Ryan McGeeney/KANSAN