AN
08
OPINION
7A
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 18, 2001
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Mr. Engineer pageant breaks the pattern
No longer are beauty pageants the exclusive province of stereotypical gorgeous nitwits. Not only is a former runner-up for Miss Alaska a vice-presidential candidate, now the KU chapter of the Society of Women Engineers (SWE) is getting in the pageant business. They have a few innovations of their own, too. After all, who said "gorgeous" was just for girls?
"A lot of guys, when they hear SWE," think it's just for girls, but 80 percent of the engineering school is guys so we thought we should get them involved," said Amanda Carter, coordinator of the pageant and a senior in architectural engineering.
On Sept. 26 SWE will hold its second annual Mr. Engineer pageant, a fundraiser to showcase the brains and brawn of male engineers.
The pageant has four categories: "Best Dressed," a talent competition, "Most Nerdy," and the much-anticipated boxer contest. For the first category, contestants dress as if they were going to an interview, Amanda said.
The talent competition,
one of Carter's favorite categories,
gives the contestants the chance to show what engineers can do. Amanda's brother Jason Carter, a senior in mechanical engineering and a competitor in last year's program, followed up his juggling act with a free
body diagram showing all of the forces acting on the balls. Last year's Mr. Engineer did push-ups - without a shirt.
Shirts are required for the "Most Nerdy" category, in which the stereotypical dress of engineers everywhere gets its moment in the sun. "Some guys wear really high-water pants and pocket protectors," Amanda said. "It's interesting to see what different people think of as nerdy dress."
"I wore an ugly Hawaiian shirt, rolled up pants and glasses. It was a good chance to not take ourselves too seriously," Jason said.
Lucky judges are pulled from the younger echelons of SWE members. The judgles look for someone with enthusiasm who really struts their stuff, Amanda said.
Last and emphatically not least is the boxer contest, the Mr. Engineer equivalent of the Miss America swimwear category. Contestants also have creative sway in this part of the competition. T-shirts are optional and "...the only rule is that the guys wear something under their boxers. We don't want any accidents," Amanda said.
"[The boxer competition] was definitely hilarious. I am no body builder myself, but it was fun to put my shame aside for a good cause]" Jason said.
Girls have held the pageant spotlight for far too long; it's about time the guys went on parade. And what could be better than boxers and brains?
Blankenau is a Lincoln, Neb., sophomore in journalism.
editorials around kansas Kansas can benefit
from green energy
Some Kansas leaders seem determined to ignore not only the growing threat of climate change to Kansas but also the economic benefits of being part of the green solution.
ASSOCIATED PRESS
In her commentary published in the same edition of The Eagle, Kansas Chamber of Commerce president Amy J. Blankenbiller portrays climate science as still up in the air while raising fears about the economic fallout of a federal cap-and-trade proposal meant to address it.
It's true that cap-and-trade and other climate solutions might require sacrifice from Americans, including higher energy prices — although the doom-and-gloom scenarios cited by Blankenbiller are disputed by many economists. But in a recent case study of eight states, including Kansas, the National Conference of State Legislatures observed that economic discussions of climate change often emphasize the costs of taking action to reduce greenhouse gases while ignoring the costs of doing nothing.
As Gov. Kathleen Sebellius argued last week, Kansas stands to benefit from a national push to develop cleaner, renewable
It's the same old song and denial. In Blankenbiller's world, there's nothing Kansas should worry about on climate, and there's nothing Kansas can do about it anyway.
energy — a push that cap-and-trade will only accelerate.
According to a new report by the Political Economy Research Institute at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, Kansas would be one of the big winners in a $100 billion national investment in the emerging green-collar economy. In Kansas, the report found, such a green investment would add about 20,000 jobs and add almost $900 million to the state economy, mostly in traditional good-paying jobs such as those of truckers, sheet-metal workers and machinists.
The wind industry is taking on nationwide, and wind companies in Kansas and elsewhere are clamoring for a variety of skilled workers. There's every indication that Kansas is poised to win big in the green economy.
But youd never suspect that from listening to the Kansas Chamber, which seems more intent on clinging to old ways of doing business than positioning Kansas to compete in the 21st century.
The Wichita Eagle Sept. 14 editorial
HOW TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Send letters to opinion@kansan.com.
Write LETTER TO THE EDITOR in the e-mail subject line.
**Length:** 300-400 words
The submission should include the author's name, phone number, grade, hometown.
LETTER GUIDELINES
Length: 300-400 words
CONTACT US
Matt Erickson, editor
864-4810 or merickson@kansan.com
Mark Dent, managing editor 864-4810 or mdent@kansan.com
Dani Hurst, managing editor 864-4810 or dhurst@kansan.com
Kelsey Hayes. managing editor
864-4101 or khayesikansan.com
Matt Erickson, eanu
Lauren Keith, opinion editor
or keith@kansan.com
Jordan Herrmann, business manager
864-4358 or jherrmann@kansan.com
Patrick De Oliveira, associate opinion editor 864-4924 or pdeoliveira@kansan.com
Toni Bergquist, sales manager
864-4477 or tbergquist@kansan.com
Jon Schlitt, sales and marketing adviser
864-7666 or jschlitt@kansan.com
Malcolm Gibson, general manager and news adviser
TYLER DOEHRING
THE EDITORIAL BOARD
THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kansai Editorial Board are Alex
Doherty, Jenny Hartz, Lauren Keith, Patrick de
Oravay, Ray Sebechan and Ian Stanford.
How to not get laid Because we're experts
Pope: Ofentimes, as my associate Ryan and I sort through our mail, we find - nestled among various bills and the newest issue of Matt Kleinmann Monthly - a few letters from adoring fans who seek our infinite wisdom. One such letter was sent to us by a distressed student who was having girl trouble. He writes that he has grown tired of waking up post-citus next to attractive young women, which happens at least four times a week. Desperate to shed this burden, he asks us how he might become better at repelling the opposite sex.
Ryan: Luckily for him, we are masters of this art form. For all of those wishing to deter the insufferable sex drive of women, here's a little game we like to call "just the Tips."
Popes Through her screaches, you might just be able to make out that
Pope: The No. 1 rule of avoiding sex is, of course, to never leave the house. Ordering out seems expensive, yet it pales in comparison to the high emotional cost of a female with nothing on her mind save your private regions. Sometimes departure is necessary, though, so it is important to remember this mantra: Comfort Over Style. Throw on those cargo pants from middle school with the zip-off legs. What if you're being pursued by a pack of wild women through the burning wreckage of some frat guy's Jeep when your pant legs catch on fire? You need to be able to jettison that shirt.
Ryan: Another rule to keep in mind is Safety In Numbers. I recommend at least four men to a group, which will provide safe passage to any drinking destination. Women won't usually approach a bunch of men standing together – this isn't the '60s and you're not sailors fresh from the docks. Avoid all conversation. There will be times, however, when you can't resist their siren call, finding yourself unable to escape the clutches of one of these harpies.
she wants you to buy her a drink. Buying a girl drinks is essentially a legal form of prostitution. Both seek the same conclusion; the only difference being that when you pump a girl full of alcohol at a bar, you're paying someone else. Prostitution just cuts out the middleman.
Ryan: As Pope would know personally. You won't be able to ignore her request for long, but there are ways around getting her drunk, which as we all know leads to her advancement across the Southern Front. Try ordering her water. Easy. Delicious. Non-threatening. Sadly, she will urge you to provide her with something alcoholic. This situation calls for the Three to One Rule: For every drink she has, you are to stay three times more intoxicated. No matter how horny she gets, she should find it difficult to carry your limp form home.
Pope: You're welcome.
Ryan: Before you realize it, she'll be over with the douchebag wearing the two pastel-colored polo shirts that he bought at Baby Gap.
**Pope:** Ryan would know a thing or two about "limp forms." If you are coherent up until last call, you're doing it wrong. You need to be prepared for the question that dooms most men: "My place or yours?"
Michael Pope is a Kansas City senior in English. Ryan Snyder is a Leawood senior in English.
Pope: If all else fails, this is fool-proof: Look deep into her eyes and act like the perfect gentleman. Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her that if she ever needs you, you'll always be there for her.
Ryan: Naturally she'll suggest her place, so tell her you've been Tivo-ing a Battlestar Galactica marathon all day and must get home to indulge. Besides, if you don't rub one out before bed, you wake up cranky.
Be careful, as either answer will lead you straight off the Abstinence Precipice and down into the depths of the Orgasm Chasm. You must be ready to launch a counterattack: "My place is fine - I just hope my serial-rapist roommate is aleep."
Marijuana debate fails to discuss important issues
On Sept. 15, students, concerned citizens and a smattering of graying hippies (stragglers from the Greatest Generation of substance abuse) assembled in the Union ballroom to witness a debate about the legalization of marijuana between Steve Hager, the editor-in-chief of High Times Magazine, and Robert Stutman, a retired DEA bigwig. The auditorium betrayed only the slightest hint of the weed's musty funk as Bob Dylan's "Rainy Day Woman #12 & 35" rattled through the overhead speakers, suggesting that everybody must get stoned. Much of the audience had obliged. Heavy-lidded potheads, their eyes glazed over like Krispy Kreme Donuts, fussed with hemp bracelets and prepared to summon their lung-full of indignation at the prohibition of marijuana.
I showed up expecting the typical bloviation from both camps in the debate. "Drugs are bad, mmmkay," versus the half-baked litany of conspiracy theories and sophomoric outrage that you'll encounter in any freshman dormitory. I wasn't disappointed. It was a hell of a good show. These two guys have been at it for seven years, traveling from campus to campus like two mountebanks selling their nostrums from the rostrums of student union
auditoriums. The debate seemed to be something like a traveling road show, complete with well-practiced lines, gags and pitfalls. Student Union Activities certainly got its money's worth.
But our government's drug policy is broken. Our country builds prisons instead of hospitals and schools. We legislate unjust mandatory minimum sentences that condemn minor drug offenders to incarceration. This is a huge problem and instead Steve Hager is raving about the peace circles, the Bhagavad Gita and conspiracies of the military-industrial-pharmaceutical complex. He won over the crowd, but he wouldn't convince a sober American voter of a damn thing, and that's the problem.
The best argument for pot's prohibition is the people who smoke it. It is the stoned kids who lined up at the end of the debate and mumble incoherent questions into the microphone like: "Doesn't the government just sell us back all the marijuana that they take from us?" Many students in the queue simply rambled about their own love affair with marijuana, and one sorry stoner had to be dragged from the microphone because he wouldn't shut up. He flipped the audience the bird in a brilliant au revoir, muttering threats of vengeance as two SUA volunteers kindly helped him back to his seat.
KANSAN FILE PHOTO
Stutman wasn't much better. He ignored the practical problems of U.S. drug policy, focusing instead on the intangible harms of marijuana use. He offered the same tired anecdotes that have been regurgitated for a generation in anti-drug ad campaigns. This is your brain on drugs.
Thanks, Nancy Reagan I'm sold.
The argument for keeping pot illegal because it is harmful is predicated upon the notion that legalization, even of merely possessing the drug, will lead to more use. "My principle argument," Stutman said, "is that we will have far more users if we legalize marijuana." Unfortunately for Stutman, the empirical evidence doesn't seem to bear this out. And even if it did, the harm caused by more people getting high would have to outweigh the costs of enforcement, the costs of the black market that prohibition engenders, and the tremendous opportunity costs that our government incurs for every dollar it spends trying to stop people from smoking pot.
Thompson is a Topeka senior in economics and political science.
To contribute to Free for All, visit Kansan.com or call 785-864-0500.
I just drove by where The Crossing used to be and became depressed because I realized that all of my freshman memories are now nothings.
--amusing.
To the couple making love on campanile hill last night, I hope I didn't interrupt and ruin the moment.
--amusing.
Also, sex is a lot more funny when it is being seen as a silhouette
I had a dream last night that I saw my ex and his new girlfriend and she was really fat, ugly and really butch blonde haircut. It was kind of
--inappropriate quick!
Remind me the point of the bus stop at Naismith Hall? I do believe you are already on campus just walk. It wouldn't
--inappropriate quick!
Free For All, I called you like 6 times last week and none of them got put in. Do you still check phone messages?
--inappropriate quick!
So I did acid the other day,
and I wondered to myself...
Why the fuck do people do
--inappropriate quick!
Cookies for breakfast was a bad idea.
--inappropriate quick!
To the girl I see at the rec everyday, I'm trying to get the courage to talk to you.
--inappropriate quick!
"Ihaven't lowered my stan dards... I've just developed a different taste for cute"
--inappropriate quick!
I just saw a boy wearing Uggs... seriously.
--inappropriate quick!
I will only be at the Free For All meeting if we read aloud every single Free For All comment from the day. That will get really awkward and inappropriate quick!
--a clue.
Thursday is my birthday!
Free For All can you give me a
present?
(Editors note: You are wel come)
--a clue.
Pandora gets you? I love Greek Mythology.
--a clue.
I may not be so much into the mythology, but I love classical history, does that count for anything?
I am so sick and tired of people telling me that because I am gay I should be a Democrat. I'm sorry, there is a lot more going on in the world than just gay rights, get
@KANSAN.COM
Want more? Check out Free for All online.
---