2014.12.15 8:30
NOTICE
TOMORROW'S NEWS A2B Light Electric Vehicle
So you're sick of sky-high gas prices, and you've decided to make some changes in your life. This year, instead of driving to school, you're going to ride a bicycle. It costs nothing to ride, and you even get a bit of exercise in the process.
But, on your first trip to class, you encounter a few complications: They're called hills, and our campus just happens to be perched on top of a giant one. You get to class panting and sweaty, and all of a
sudden that bicycle doesn't seem like such a great idea.
Lucky for you, the people at Ultra Motor have people like you in mind. Starting in August, the company began distributing the A2B, a bicycle equipped with a rechargeable electric motor. Even if you don't feel like pedaling, the A2B can carry its riders 20 miles at a cruising speed of 20 mph.
Amy Robinson, vice president of marketing at Ultra Motor, says the company developed the A2B because it saw a need for a commuter bicycle that didn't require a license like most mopeds and scooters do.
The convenience doesn't come without a price, though. The A2B will set you back $2,599, though Ultra Motor says it's still cheaper than using fossil fuel to get around. You can find the A2B at Cycle Works, 2121 Kasold Drive. For more information on the A2B, check out Ultra Motor's Web site, www.ultramotor.com.
—Sean Rosner
WESCOEWIT
Guy 1: That girl was wearing the same shorts yesterday.
Guy 2: How do you know that?
Guy 1: Because I was checking out her ass yesterday, too.
Guy: You guys are so social, putting on your headphones.
Girl: I can listen to music and talk at the same time.
Guy: You can't even chew gum and talk at the same time.
**Guy:** What is that girl wearing?
**Girl:** I think she's going for Pocahontas-
chic.
Guy: I have class in 30 minutes. It sucks.
But after that, I get to go home and smoke weed all day.
**Guy 1:** (leaving a group of friends) Well.
I have to go take a shit.
**Guy 2:** Alright, later.
**White Owl:** (to guy in maroon shorts)
Who do you cheer for, OU or KU?
**Guy:** OU, baby!
**White Owl:** OU? Oh, you ho!
White Owl:OU? Oh,you ho!
**Guy:** Dude, I gotta find somewhere to throw up at.
Girl 1: Where are you tailgating on Saturday?
Girl 2: Everywhere.
Guy: ...And the guy's about to get his head ripped off!
Guy: Two praying mantis are mating outside the window.
Girl: Ew!
Girl: (to friend) Yeah, I just got this phone. I don't understand why the alarm clock is in the "fun applications" section.
Guy: (to random group of people)
Hey...yeah, um..I'm supposed to invite everyone I see to a trampoline party tonight. It's at Sasha Kaun's old apartment complex.
Guy: I just watched a really hot girl pick her wedge.
**Guy:** (proudly) I have a Jamaican accent when I drink.
**Girl:** Okay.
—Sean Rosner
September 4,2008
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