CONTACT
with Matt Hirschfeld and Francesca Chambers
—Scott,freshman
My girlfriend of six years is going to Rutgers University in New Jersey. We've hung out almost every day during the past six years. We are going to stay together, but how can we not grow apart when we don't see each other very much?
Matt: Once, a person I was dating left town for a week-long vacation in Florida. Yes, a whole week. We were still in the honeymoon phase, so I couldn't get enough of the "quality" time we spent together.
By the time the week was almost up, it felt like a month. A month of thinking and thinking and thinking about "us." When we reunited, all my previous thoughts went down the drain. We were both the same person (one a tad more begrudgingly tan), but how we communicated during the absence made the difference. We called and texted every day. I provided Facebook and Lawrence updates, and I, in return, got to hear how glamorous Florida was.
Call, e-mail, text, chat, Facebook, write communicate with your girlfriend about your day, your friends and your future.
I know a couple who were dating for six months and saw each other as many times as I can count on one hand. When I saw them interact, though, it was as if they had never left each other's side. And they still haven't after two years.
If that's you and your girlfriend, never leave her side—even if you can't be there physically.
Francesca: The distance may seem daunting, but it seems like your relationship has all the attributes needed to survive. Most people can't maintain a good relationship of any kind for six years these
days. Perhaps I should be taking advice from you!
It's important that you and your girlfriend keep each other in the loop about your lives and your new friends' lives. This way, you'll fit right with each other when you visit instead of feeling out of place. When I tell my boyfriend stories, I always make sure to say the name of the friend and give him a reference point—"You know, the one whose birthday was at El Mezcal""—which helps him to keep my friends straight.
Talking on the phone is obvious, but underrated. I've been busy traveling across the country reporting for the Kansan the past two weeks. However, I talked to my boyfriend more during this time and felt closer to him than when I was at home.The distance worked to our advantage because we set times to talk several times a day, and we were able to sustain unusually long conversations because we were leading different lives for the first time in years.
Where can I meet the ladies?
—Matt, transfer junior
You should also purchase a Web cam if one didn't come with your laptop. I have a friend whose boyfriend is in Iraq, and their Web cams saved their relationship because they could still "see" each other.
Bitch and Moan should not be taken as a substitute for professional, expert advice.
Francesca: Are you looking for a one night stand or a relationship? I am going to assume you are looking for a relationship, because the obvious places to find drunk, horny women are Brothers and The Hawk.
As far as a relationship, I would suggest attending house parties thrown by friends. It's likely any girl you meet at said party is either a friend of your friend, or a friend of a friend of a friend. My point is that you will be able to find out the dirt on your potential love interest before you make a fool of yourself, waste your time or get your heart broken.
Another place to meet classy women is at work. According to a 2006 study, 18 percent of people met their significant other at work and 15 percent meet them at school. Statistically speaking, you have a one in three chance of meeting someone if you work on campus—you're not going to find better odds than that! There are clearly negatives to dating a co-worker; but working together provides an environment for you to win her over with your stunning personality. Because, if you are asking
us for help, I'm assuming your looks alone don't have the women throwing themselves at your feet as you walk down Jayhawk Boulevard.
Matt: This may be a rhetorical question, but why are you in college? Contrary to what your professors think you think , it's to go to class.
Class is an easy way to meet people while in college. Yes, you're there to learn, but why not have some fun, too? You're probably taking four to six classes, which gives you the opportunity to speak to hundreds of women.
A way to show some interest in a potential date is to start some casual class conversation. Nonchalantly ask for a pen or pencil on occasion and pretty soon, your future date will be the one starting the class talk. A fine line between creepy and casual is out there, but I'll leave it to your discretion not to go too far.
Yes, alcohol does provide some social lubricant, but if you're really interested in a person, wouldn't you rather remember her name the next morning and avoid the awkward name-guessing game the next time you see her?
I've met some of my best friends (no significant others, though) in class. It gives you the opportunity to talk about your life without revealing too much. That's what your first date is for.
Send us your sex and relationship questions at bitchandmoan@kansan.com.
Free Food!
Free T-Shirt!
Trivia & Prizes!
Saturday. September 6 $ ^{th} $ 3:30pm - 5:30pm
KU STUDENT TAILGATE
Come try the newest
NCAA football games
At Campanile Hill, Kickoff at 6pm.
from EA Sports!
Wear your KU Blue
Free Food until it runs out!
Bring your KUID.
September 4,2008
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