only look so far as material possessions." Fee says. "But you need to look deeper than that."
Find a roommate whose habits and lifestyle match your own.
Joint Effort
If you and your roommate are having difficulties, make sure to try your best to make it work before starting the daunting task of moving. If there is a specific problem that needs to be addressed, don't use the word "you." By accusing your roommate with phrases such as "you are a slob" or "you don't respect me," you are attacking the person and not the problem. Make sure to separate the person from the behavior so as to elicit the desired behavior. Also, focus your conversation on the facts and not any nasty feelings you may have about your roommate at the time.
compromise, because living with another person is all about reaching agreements.
If you continue to have problems after speaking up and trying everything you possibly can, it may be time to move out. However, it's a common misconception that all roommates don't get along. Not every situation can be anticipated, but by trying your hardest from the beginning, living with someone new might turn into a positive experience.
"Your roommate may not end up being your best friend forever," Wamelink says. "But they won't stay your enemy forever, either."
Does that mean my curse has been lifted? Let's hope so.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
Have you found yourself living with your polar opposite? Personality clashes don't have to destroy living situations. Instead, try using these six conversation starters from Susan Fee's book, My Roommate is Driving Me Crazy, which features more than 250 additional conversation starters. These tactics are sure to tone down any irritating habits between the pair of you without getting offensive.
1. You've probably noticed I'm not as talkative as you. It's not that I mind conversations, but I can't talk first thing in the morning until I really wake up.
2. I'm willing to clean my dishes. It just may not be as soon as you do yours. Can we compromise?
3. I can tell you're spontaneous,but I'm more of a planner. When it comes to having parties in the room,can we talk about how I can have some advance warning?
4. It's cool that we're different. I don't
want to change that. I just want to figure out a time when it can be quiet in the room so I can study.
5. We definitely have different tastes in music. I'm not asking for you not to play yours, but I want to be able to play my stuff too. What can we do when we're both in the room at the same time?
6. You have a lot of friends on campus who want to hang in our room. When I'm done with classes, I like to chill by myself. Is it possible to not have any visitors at least for an hour?
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August 21,2008