Reconciling your roommate differences
By Gina Souders
gsouders@kansan.com
"Do not sleep on my bed again, idiot. If you do, you will be cursed."
The dark red letters stared back at me, scrawled on a white sheet of computer paper; strategically placed on the center of my roommate's bed at Jayhawker Towers.
About four weeks earlier, my friend and I had enjoyed a night out while my roommate was out of town. Our evening ended in a drunken walk back to my apartment, leaving my friend with nowhere to sleep but my roommate's bed.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After spotting the angry note, I became afraid to say anything to my roommate, so I did the most logical thing I could think of: I switched apartments.
Looking back, I realize my former roommate and I probably could have avoided this disagreement. Our main problem was miscommunication, which Susan Fee, licensed counselor and author of My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy, says is the biggest problem for new roommates.
Fee decided to write her book after hearing of two roommates who, after having a disagreement, sat in a room together and argued. Their heated words were not spoken, however. They were sent via instant messenger. When Fee asked one of the girls why she didn't just turn around and communicate with her roommate the old-fashioned way, the girl answered. "I could never say these things to my roommate's face."
As this new semester begins, you've likely found yourself in one of two roommate situations: living with a stranger or living with a friend. But no matter which situation, communication is key, and whether you've had countless roommates or have never lived with anyone before, here are some basic guidelines everyone should follow when moving in with someone new.
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August 21, 2008