suffer from eating disorders, kleptomania or alcohol and drug abuse. Many have been abused physically or sexually. Blair has never been abused physically or sexually. She has never had an eating disorder and she does not shoplift. She does not abuse alcohol or drugs, though she does participate in the use of each.
People suffering from DSHS exhibit these symptoms in a rotation. They might start off as a cutter, move to anorexia or bulimia, then to kleptomania, compulsive stealing, then to drug or alcohol abuse. These symptoms may occur simultaneously or separately. Many times, patients are mis-diagnosed because they see a physician in the middle of a rotation, Favazza says. When the physician sees a patient, the diagnosis may be an eating disorder, but if he had seen the person a few months later, he might diagnose differently.
Some physicians name several factors in one's childhood as triggers of repetitive self-mutilation, according to Marilee Strong's book, A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain. A history of childhood physical or sexual abuse, illness or surgeries at a young age, parental alcoholism-mutilation or depression, an inability to express and tolerate feelings and negative body image can trigger self-mutilation.
Self-mutilation is more common among females than males. Strong, an award-winning journalist, writes that it may be because of the physical and psychological changes girls go through in puberty. Female adolescents pull away from their mothers at an older age than males and at a time when their bodies are beginning to look more like their mothers. Self-mutilation commonly begins in adolescents, and separation from family members, whether mentally or physically, is seen as a factor.
Statistics from healthAtoZ.com estimate the nearly one percent of the American population practices some type of self-mutilation. This percentage translates to approximately 2.5 million Americans. Favazza says 1,400 out of every 100,000 people in the United States cut themselves, but they don't reveal their cutting to others. This translates to closer to 3.9 million Americans who self-mutilate. Seventy-five percent of cutters are female. Though millions of Americans are said to cut themselves intentionally, the isolation cutters feel
BLAIR IS NOT IN THERAPY. SHE HASN'T CUT
IN MORE THAN THREE MONTHS.BUT SHE CAN'T SAY SHE WON'T EVERY CUT AGAIN.
SHE HAS BEEN CUTTING FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS.
often adds to their desperation
The first person to find out about her cutting was her then boyfriend. "He saw the bandages on my wrists," Blair says. "He was pretty pissed off and threatened to break up with me." He had been in a similar situation before. They did not break up, and Blair continued to cut for the duration of their relationship. Blair chose to tell her two best friends.
Blair told her mother during an argument. She says it wasn't too long ago and that she hid it well from her parents. She admits she tried to make her mother feel bad during the argument by saying that she would just go home and cut herself. In return, her mother told Blair that she
already knew but hadn't said anything. Blair's younger brother still doesn't know. He has problems of his own, Blair says. But she says she would tell him if he asked her and that she's not purposely trying to hide it from anyone. When she shows off the tattoo on her left wrist, her scars are easily seen. Blair admits getting her tattoos and piercings for the pain.
Blair says she has to do something crazy when in extreme situations. When she and a friend found Blair's grandfather after his stroke, she pierced her belly button. After she had a fight with one of her best friends in Emporia, she pierced her nipples. And after Blair broke up
with her boyfriend because of his indiscretions, she got a tattoo.
Every year since turning 18, Blair has given herself a tattoo as a present. Right now, she has 13 body piercings and five tattoos. On her 18th birthday, she got a tattoo in the small of her back and says even though it hurt the worst, from then on, she was addicted. Even though she continues to get tattoos, Favazza says there are only so many piercing or tattoos one can get. "There are a lot of people out there cutting to sublimate their need to cut through piercing," he says.
Many cutters refer to their cutting as addictive. Addiction to endorphins is one of several theories that explain reasons for cutting. Endorphins released in the brain after an injury act as painrelievers, according to healthAtoZ.com The 12-step Program in Self-Mutilators Anonymous is one treatment that coincides with the idea of addiction. Other approaches include psychotherapy, journalizing, behavioral therapy and medication. Cutters are often given anti-depressants, especially if they are also showing signs of a depressive disorder. Most patients are treated through outpatient programs, but in 1985, Karen Conterio started S.A.F.E. Alternatives, Self-Abuse Finally Ends, in Illinois. SAFE is an inpatient facility for severe self-injurers.
Blair is not in therapy. She hasn't cut in more than three months, but she can't say that she won't ever cut again. She says she liked doing it and knew there was a problem but didn't think it would be long-term. She has been cutting for about two years. "I'm dealing with it on my own and I think I'm coming out of it pretty well," she says. "I think it's a phase that people go through."
She is trying to move forward with her life. She has a new boyfriend she's been with for a little more than four months. She dropped out of school but is moving to New York City to be with her boyfriend and to become a cosmetologist, which she wanted to do before going to Emporia State.
Blair is honest. She can't say that she will never cut again. If the occasion arose, she says she probably would. "I've gotten better with it," Blair says. For her the cutting is mostly about controlling her life, but she wants to quit.
—Brandi Garvin, Jayplay writer, can be reached at bgarvin@kansan.com.
thursday, november 20. 2003
jayplay
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