at them. "As we fall in love, we fall in need." Leman says. "We have needs and they're fulfilled by the other person." Leman says relationships have either cooperation or competition. A good match will help you to more easily balance your mate's personality.
5. Exceptions Exist
So you're a middle child, but playing peacemaker isn't your thing? Birth order doesn't fit everyone, Isaacson says. In fact, he says, one third of the time it doesn't tell the story. You should see which order's traits fit you best and use that as a jumping off point for interpreting your personality and compatibility.
Larger families require repeating the birth order after the fourth child, making the fifth an only child, the sixth a first born and so on.
Who's most compatible? Leman writes in his book that only and youngest children, first borns and youngests, and the middle children and youngests are
the best matches. The perfect match, he says, is a female only child or a first born paired with a youngest male who has older sisters.
Your place in the family could factor into how happy you are with your honey. When Redding meets with clients she says sibling position is always a factor because it allows her to see how they view people and situations. She says only children commonly thin a lot of guidance or be more sensitive to feedback.
The clues to understanding why your sweetheart gets so easily flustered or why you're always stealing the show might be right at your fingertips. Take charge of your relationship by considering birth order's relevance to you and your partner's quirks and irks. With a better idea of how and why you relate, you'll be headed on the dating highway to heaven.
—Jacqueline Lenart, Jayplay writer, can be reached at jlenart@kansan.com
WHO'S FIRST? Birth order affects personality traits
First Born
First-borns are natural leaders. These detail-minded people are punctual and organized. They are competent at any task you give them and love to be in control. Firstborns tend to be either nurturers/caregivers or aggressive movers and shakers.
First-born children can also be moody and bossy. They tend to be poor delegates because they don't trust others to do things as well as they could. First-borns can be intimidating, lacking sensitivity and have a know-it-all attitude.
Famous First Borns:
George W. Bush, Harrison Ford William Shakespeare and Brad Pitt
Middle children are people pleasers. They hate confrontation and often take on the role of peacekeeper. They are great listeners and tend to be good negotiators and mediators. Middle children are amiable and down-to-earth.
Middle Born
Middle children are less driven than their older sibling. They want to be liked by everyone, so they have a hard time setting boundaries. They are co-dependent and blame themselves when others fail.
Famous Middle Borns:
Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Madonna and Britney Spears
Last Born
Last-born children have strong people skills. They are energized by being around people and make friends easily. They are extroverts, which make them natural entertainers. Last-born children aren't afraid of taking risks.
Last-borns have a short attention span and get bored easily. They can be self-centered but have an intense fear of rejection. They often set unrealistic expectations that others can not live up to.
Only children have many of the same characteristics as first borns. They are task oriented, well organized and dependable. They love details, facts and ideas.
Famous Last Borns:
Goldie Hawn, Jim Carrey, Jay Leno and Billy Crystal
Only Children
Only children are demanding and often unforgiving. They don't like to be wrong and don't take criticism well. Only children get their feelings hurt easily.
Drew Berrymore, Robin Williams, Tiger Woods and Anthony Hopkins
Famous Only Children:
Becky Rogers, Jayplay writer, can be reached at brogers@kansan.com
thursday, October 2, 2003
jayplay. 5