relating
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dodging ent relationship problems understanding birth order. BY JACQUELINE LENART dating road blocks
You might get lost everywhere you go, but don't be lost in love. Understanding your personality provides the key to figuring out your romantic compatibility. Kevin Leman, author of The New Birth Order Book, says your birth order is a psychological roadmap to who you are. "It's a result of that fluid, dynamic relationship that exists between parents and children," Leman says. "The way you see life is played out in your birth order."
Here are five things to know about birth order and how it affects your dating compatibility, so you can confidently hop in the dating driver's seat and steer clear of relationship roadblocks.
1. Not In Your Hands
You had no say in being born first, only to be followed by an annoying little sister two years later. If you still haven't figured it out, it wasn't her fault when she came along. Neither of you had any control over when you were born. Sibling position is a technique clinical social worker Nomi Redding evaluates with clients. She likes the lack of personal accountability associated with it. "There's no judgment involved." Redding says. "You can't help when you're born and how you first see the world."
But you do have a part in how you decide to act, even though some of your actions correlate with how your parents treated you. As a first born, you might have had the responsibility of baby-sitting your siblings. Redding says responsibilities assigned from parents like this also can affect a child's personality.
2. Can't Get Rid of It
If you're an only child, you shouldn't have been surprised that you didn't like sharing with your first college roommate. You never had to as a child. That doesn't
mean you're doomed to be selfish, but it does create more for you to adjust to in relationships
Birth order personality is developed and set by the age of two for most children, says Cliff Isaacson, author of The Birth Order Effect. "Nobody really escapes their birth order," he says. "That's how people relate their whole lives." He says birth order determines the basis of
personality development and compatibility in relationships in addition to life experience.
3. Gender Is Important
birth order," he says. "First-borns are affected by parents and later borns' siblings serve as buffers."
Your gender can actually determine which birth order you're labeled. A third-born girl with two older brothers is still considered a first born because she's the oldest of her sex, says Leman. "We are influenced by those who are above us in
4. Set Guidelines for Relationship Roles
A good birth-order match has personalities that complement one another. Two only children or two first borns aren't as likely to have a spark because they only see their own personalities reflected back
Sisters Lauren, Devin and Spenser Alirey are separated by six years. From playful pigtails to a pulled-back ponytail, these sisters' personalities are shown even in small ways.
4 jayplay
thursday, october 2. 2003
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