4B the university daily kansan
sex on the hill
monday, September 15.2003
Columnist became national phenom
Meghan Bainum wrote about sex, plans to return
Meghan Bainum, former University Daily Kansas sex columnist,flipped through sketches at Beyond the Wall, 839 Massachusetts St., where she works. Bainum is eager to return to the University of Kansas to write her sex column again.
By Caithin Kirley
correspondent@kansan.com
Kansan correspondent
Former University Daily Kansan sex columnist Meghan Bainum has a reputation few students can compete with.
Bainum penned racy advice for the Kansan, spicing up its pages for three semesters beginning Fall 2001. Now, she is taking time off of school, but still lives in Lawrence and works at Beyond the Wall, 939 Massachusetts St. She plans to enroll in the spring semester in hopes of bringing back her column.
"I have no regrets," she said. "Give me the chance, and I'll start writing again."
Bainum's columns challenged critics and inspired the sexual awareness of her Jayhawk peers. But her story doesn't start out nearly as grandiose.
"I was the most unpopular person in high school," Bainum said.
A self-described outcast, she grew up in the small Kansas town of Dover. By her junior year, she decided it was time to leave. Bainum took the General Education Development test, or GED, and enrolled at the University of Kansas.
A talented writer, she chose to major in journalism with special interests in politics and people. Bainum had no way of knowing that within two years she'd be overwhelmed by a blitz of both. She started working at the Kansan as an entertainment writer. Bainum decided to write an article based on fetishes and turn-ons. The amount of positive feedback was astounding, and instantly Bainum saw a new column in her future.
She found an untapped resource in the University news
in one of the oldest college pastimes: sex. Her advice column was featured every Thursday and rarely failed to drop jaws with such irreverent topics as genital piercing, masturbation and anal beads.
"If you've been missing a spark in your sex life," Bainum wrote in "Add a little pizzaz and try bondage." Kansan, Sept. 16, 2002. "Adding a good pair of handcuffs or a spanking of two to your normal routine could be the way for you to put the sprinkles on your ice cream cone."
One universal truth is sex sells. Any economies major would tell you it made sense that as the degree of Bainum's risqué and raunchy topics increased, circulation and student buzz were proportionate. She became a sexicon — willing or not.
"I knew I was going to raise some eyebrows," she said. "But I didn't know people were going to flip out."
Her family also was overwhelmed.
"It can be embarrassing at times," said younger sister Amy.
"If you've been missing a spark in your sex life, adding a good pair of handcuffs or a spanking or two to your normal routine could be the way for you to put the sprinkles on your ice cream cone."
Meghan Bainum former University Daily Kansan sex columnist
"But we'll always love her."
Bainum got all sorts of attention, and to her surprise, not all of it was local. According to a June 14 issue of the Chronicle of Higher Education, "a small but growing number of women" were authors of love and sex advice columns in college newspapers. Some of the other universities included New York University, UCLA and perhaps
the most renowned, Yale. The report snowballed into a mainstream media frenzy that college girls such as Bainum were the focus of. After the storm had passed, she had been interviewed by The New York Times, Fox News, Inside Edition and Esquire.
But with positive attention came the negative. Bainum received reprimands from church leaders and concerned parents alike. Both accused her of exploitation and deemed her column "unworthy of a higher education institution."
But Bafnum's biggest claim to fame was when she was asked to pose for Playboy.
post for
"It was a dream come true," she recalled with a smile. "Very liberating."
Michelle Burhenn, Kansan editor and Topeka junior, said the newspaper had gone through at least five sex columnists since Bainum's departure. Nobody's had her staying power, she said.
By Nicole Madril
correspondent@kansan.com
Kansan correspondent
Students exercise alternatives to sex
— Edited by Katie Nelson
A relationship before marriage is about building a foundation for the future, and sex shouldn't be a part of that, said Jessica Wayner, Topeka freshman.
Wayner and Dylan Schoonover, Washburn University freshman, had math class together as seniors in high school. Eventually, the two began dating and talked about abstaining from sex early on in the relationship. Since then, it's never been an issue.
"Call us old-fashioned, but we seem to be able to have a good time together without involving risky behaviors," Wayner said.
The same is true for Allie Andrews, Overland Park junior, and Ben Statler, Overland Park senior.
"We think it's possible to hang out and not to have sex," Statler said.
Both couples rely on their faith to help keep them strong in their commitment to abstinence. Both couples are Christians and believe that sex should only be enjoyed in the sanctity of marriage.
Wayner and Schoonover have been dating for ten months. Both said not having sex gets easier as they explore their new relationship. They've found alternatives to intercourse, and as an athletic pair the couple can usually be seen in Lawrence or Topeka golfing, running, or playing tennis.
"I think that the focus of a relationship, especially in the beginning, should be based upon building a trusting friendship, rather than engaging in self pleasures," Wayner said.
"I am constantly thinking of
Schoonover agreed.
ways to make her smile or make her happy, and none of them involve getting her into bed," he said. "I try to think of ways I can surprise her, something I can buy her, or a new place I can take her."
Things aren't so easy for Andrews and Statler, who have been dating for four and a half years. A year into their relationship, Andrews and Statler broke up because they liked each other's bodies more than each other's personalities, Statler said, but are back together now. Both said they made out and "messed around" with each other earlier in their relationship, but don't anymore.
"We can't make out anymore because it will lead to bad things." Andrews said.
Though Andrews and Statler used to struggle with physical boundaries, now that they are older and have a stronger faith they have learned to deal with their physical desires.
"We talk and pray together about our relationship," Statler said. "She's my best friend, and we know each other inside and out. She's a good person to go through life with."
"It's hard when people assume that since we've been dating for four years, that we have sex," Andrews said. "I wish I was more comfortable telling people right off the bat that we don't have sex."
Peer pressure is not an issue in Schoonover and Wayner's relationship.
Wayner said she didn't feel that she was missing out on anything.
But neither couple plan on being abstinent forever.
"We'll get married, have jobs and maybe a few pets," Statler said. "We'll have lots of sex then."
Edited by Ashley Marriott