thursday, September 4, 2003
jayplay.17
Nothing but a number
By Megan Hickerson
mhickerson@kansan.com
Jayplay writer
When a woman approached Jeff Hagman in a Denver bar last summer, he was quick to notice her blonde hair and blue eyes. He wasn't immediately aware that she was 10 years his senior.
"She was playing darts when I met her," the Denver senior says. "She was noticeably mature, but I had no idea that she was 10 years older than me."
Hagman didn't have a problem with the age difference. He asked her out to lunch, and soon the two began dating.
After a few dates, Hagman was introduced to the woman's two children.
"It wasn't weird when I met the boys," Hagman says. "She had told them about us, and they were prepared to meet me. The older one liked me right away, but it took a few minutes for the younger boy to warm up to me."
As the relationship progressed, Hagman told his parents, who have a fivemonth age difference, about his new love interest. His father was a bit more close-minded about the relationship.
"My dad told me that she was looking for someone to marry and settle down with," Hagman says.
Although the conversations between the two were intellectually challenging, and the sex was great, the relationship came to an end when Hagman returned to the University of Kansas last fall.
"The sex was good but not in the sense that I love this girl and I want to marry her," Hagman says.
The film The Graduate was released in 1967. Dustin Hoffman played Ben, a 20 year-old returning home after graduation to find himself seduced by the middleaged wife of his father's business partner. A year later, the Simon and Garfunkel song, "Mrs. Robinson," raised a few eyebrows. The song deals with younger men who lust after older, more-established women.
In other instances it isn't age-difference that proves to be problematic, but a couple's lifestyle changes.
Mike Walker, senior, has been dating Beth Mowery for a year and a half. Mowery graduated from KU last year, and is working for a medical-device sales company in Chicago.
"When I took her out for out first date," Walker says, "I could tell that she didn't want a damn thing to do with me because she was graduating and moving on with her life, and I was staying here in Lawrence."
But now Mowery and Walker see each other about once a month. She agrees that it isn't the age difference, but the difference in lifestyles that adds pressure to their relationship.
then relationship. "I am at a completely different point in my life right now," Mowery says.
Whether a difference of one year or 15, making a relationship work means making changes.
Tale of the ages
By Becky Rogers brogers@kansan.com Jayplay writer
It begins like any good love affair, boy meets girl. Except that the girl is 22,and the boy is 38.
Lindsay Rhodus, Bonner Springs graduate student, first met Wes Gedney at the gym he owns while she was learning cheer stunts. Neither thought much about the age difference separating them as they began dating. Sure, there were the occasional jokes from their friends — "You get the nudging from the guys, like 'Ooh, I wish I could be you' and the girls are always like 'Oh my gosh, she's so young,'" Gedney says. The only person who put up a protest was Rhodus' mother.
"She just didn't know why a guy his age wanted to date a girl that was 17 years younger than him," Rhodus says. "She wanted to know why he hadn't been married and all that kind of good stuff." Eventually she got used to the idea.
At the start of their relationship, the age difference caused a few problems. Rhodus was 19 and still wanted to date around. Gedney had already been in the dating scene and was ready to be in a steady relationship.
Now, they barely even think about it. Rhodus says it's easier for them than most because Gedney looks young for his age. People can't spot the difference.
"That was hard for him," Rhodus says. "We broke up and got back together just because I wasn't ready to settle down. I wanted to sow my oats."
"It's kind of like dating a regular guy," Rhodus says. "He's just a lot older and more mature than most of the other guys that I have dated that are my age."
Gedney adds with a grin, "I think she's very mature for her age, and I'm very immature for mine."
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THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN