★
FEATURE
GETTIN'YOUR
PDA ON
SOMETIMES IT'S NICE TO SHOW A LITTLE AFFECTION IN PUBLIC, BUT TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING CAN BE, WELL, TOO MUCH.
// WORDS BY KIRSTEN HUDSON
// PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS BY JERRY WANG
bubble"
On a Thursday night at Abe and Jake's, the loud music pumps through my body as I sip myvodka cranberry. The usual crowd of girls in stilettos and polo-clad guys packs the room, dancing and chatting. But as I turn around and walk away from the bar, something catches my eye and I no longer feel like I'm at a club. It looks more like a scene straight out of the bedroom.
A girl in a short black dress slinks toward a guy sitting by himself on a bench and climbs onto his lap, straddling him. They start ferociously making out. As they grind on each other, her dress rides up, showing off her thong and butt cheeks to the entire club. Neither one seem to notice or care.
I don't mind a little PDA, but dry sex on a bench goes a little far.
THEN AND NOW *
PDA, or "public display of affection," doesn't always resemble dry sex. Handholding, an arm around your significant other, a quick peck, a hug — these manifestations of affection all count as PDA if done where others can see. But some types of PDA are more sexual than others. When getting affectionate, how much is too much?
Blatant PDA wasn't always so commonplace. In the early 20th century the only public displays of affection were related to prostitution, says Jeffrey Moran, associate professor of history. Until the sexual revolution in the late 1960s, displays of affection remained in the privacy of the bedroom.
In the 1960s, couples may have enjoyed some tonguing on Wescoe Beach — but it was more as a political statement in protest of a century of sexual repression than everyday behavior.
Since then PDA has slowly become more mainstream, particularly gaining acceptability in the 1980s. "You no longer had chaperones going around the high school dance separating couples with rulers," Moran says.
Today a bit of PDA — and sometimes more than just a bit — is generally tolerated.
Allison Decker, Olathe sophomore, says that even though she only holds hands in public, she saw couples groping each other and full-on making out in the halls of her high school. But horny highschoolers aren't the only ones getting their PDA on.
BUMP AND GRIND *
The sex-charged atmospheres of nightclubs make PDA feel sexy and forbidden — especially after downing a few drinks.
Places such as clubs or bars are swarming with singles and will break down people's inhibitions.
"People will care less if there's a couple mackin' all over each other at certain social venues," says Grant Wood, licensed clinical marriage therapist at the Resonate Relationship Clinic in Overland Park.
When a couple of beers and a few shots of tequila get people feeling frisky, clubgoers can generally expect to witness some PDA. "Bars are all about PDA. People go to bars in a college town in order to get ready to have sex or hopefully find someone to have sex with," says Koren Binns, Overland Park senior.
People go out not only to meet others, but also to shake their money-makers.
Dancing itself can be a form of PDA. With couples groping each other to the beat and guys running their hands up girls' skirts, the dance floor is definitely a PDA hot spot, says Ali Blakeborough, Andover junior.
When considering PDA you should always take your cue from the environment — not all places are so open to PDA, says Caroline Tiger, author
of How to Behave: Dating and Sex. "Obviously if you're at a fancy restaurant with white tablecloths and stuffy waiters, you're not going to throw your boyfriend down on the table," she says.
PDA on campus is a definite no-no. Crystal Pedram, Lawrence junior, hates seeing couples performing their own anatomy lesson in the balcony of Budig 120. She wants to pay attention to the lecture, not get distracted by their hanky panky.
Sitting on your boyfriend's lap while riding the bus is also not OK. Snuggling up with your significant other in the back of the bus might be fun for you, but it can annoy your fellow passengers. "It's not a couch," says Anne Robertson, Andover junior.
GET A ROOM *
Excessive PDA can definitely make strangers feel awkward, but it could also affect your relationships with friends.
PDA can alienate your friends not just because they find it gross, but also because it upsets them. Lonely people who long for closeness may feel hurt when their friends flaunt their relationship through extreme PDA, says Grant Wood, a marriage therapist.
Watching your friends' intimate PDA creates the same awkward feeling of witnessing a couple's heated argument, says Paul Anderson, licensed counseling psychologist at Anderson and Anderson in Overland Park.
"It's always weird when you turn around and your friends are making out with each other on the stripper pole at The Hawk," says Megan Gillies, Kansas City, Mo., sophomore.
When your friend's tongue is in a girl's mouth it makes everyone else feel awkward, says Javon Shackelford, Salina freshman. But you can't ask them to stop because that adds another layer of uncomfortableness, he says.
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