Opinion
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2009
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--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
My best skill in life = winning at "Never Have I Ever" Sad, I know.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I felt somehow betrayed when I saw that the same boy whose Facebook ad says he is crushing on me is also crushing on my roommate. I don't know why this bothered me.
I'm so hot, I make fire stop drop and roll.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
If you need someone to talk to, just ask on FFA. I was going through that last year. No one was there for me, but I can be there for you.
I wish someone would crush on me through FFA. I wait for it every day.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
For those of you that post about your crushes: Go out and do something about it!
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
To the 4-year-old that tried to race me on Massachusetts Street: You made my day!
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
How come there isn't a Testicular Cancer Awareness Month?
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I'm being a robot for Halloween—mostly for the sexual innuendo, but also because I want to be a robot.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I'm so excited to dress up for Halloween. My costume is super sluttyious.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I'll be the lame girl in the non-slutty outfit. Stupid boyfriends
Did anyone notice that in the Halloween costume ads the nun costume with the most amount of fabric was the cheapest? Just saying ...
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I was driving down Iowa Street and I saw a banana and swerved to avoid it. Thank you "Marine Kart."
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I will have sex with whoever dresses up as Rick Astley for Halloween
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I hate having sex with my boyfriend. I just want to bang other people and then marry him when I'm 25.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I drove by "Planned Parenthood" today and had a thought. Shouldn't it be called "Unplanned Parenthood?"
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
To the girl sleeping in "Cultural Anthropology": You're snooping.
--not be a dividing line there to remind us, but the unspoken rule of the sidewalk is written on our hearts, along with "he who smelt it dealt it" and the laws of calling shotgun.
I want to have sex in a Snuggie!
HUMOR
Showdowns on the sidewalk
It's high noon. Two strangers spot each other from opposite ends of a dusty trail. Though they have never met, each one now regards the other as his mortal enemy. They inch slowly toward each other, their twitching hands held close to their holsters, ready for conflict. They avoid eye contact for as long as possible, but before long their eyes meet. They are now perilously close. Beads of sweat roll down their foreheads. Their throats dry up. A family of tumbleweeds blows past. A decision must be made by someone, anyone, if disaster is to be avoided.
It may sound like a scene from the "Wild West Wild" once senaded by Mr. William Smith. But it happens today, every day, much closer to home.
Yes, substitute dust with cigarette smoke, holsters with iPod cases and families of tumbleweeds with visiting tour groups, and you've got an example of the terrible inhumanity that happens hundreds of times each day on this very campus: People walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk
The concept seems simple enough — Just like on the road, traffic should flow forward on the right side of the path. There may
ALEX NICHOLS
UNDER
OBSERVATION
When that rule is broken, what results is a game of chicken neither person wants to play. Is he going to move? Should I just move now? What if we both move at the same time? The tension builds to unbearable heights and you become frozen, your mind paralyzed in panic as your legs continue onward, oblivious to the ensuing collision because legs don't have eyes.
When you finally move at the last second, you and the stranger participate in a less-sexy version of the "Lambada," twirling and dipping around each other in a desperate attempt to avoid impact.
Though decidedly unsexy, this maneuver should be no less
forbidden than the dance that impregnated the world in the late 1980s. There are only three possible outcomes of this awkward exercise in mental jousting, and none of them are good: If you don't crash into each other, you either veer into the other lane of oncoming foot traffic or off into the grass, which over time can cause erosion. Erosion, people!
Something must be done. Perhaps we should erect signs along the sidewalk reminding us to keep to the right under penalty ... of DEATH. Or perhaps we should put one of those invisible walls down the middle of the sidewalk and issue dog collars that will give students a little shock if they wander onto the wrong side. Or, in a move that everyone would love, maybe we should replace all the sidewalks with moving walkways like they have at the airport. Those things are fun!
But until we get the funding for any of those surefire solutions, we just need to stop subscribing to the philosophy of the dueling bandits of the old west and realize that this sidewalk is, in fact, big enough for the both of us.
Nichols is a Stilwell junior in creative writing.
I'm Martin Chalfie. I was awarded a Nobel because helped discover and develop the green fluorescent protein to make biosensors.
I'm Barack Obama. I was awarded a Nobel because I wrote a book or two and made some snazzy speeches
Science Nobel Prizes overlooked
JAMES FARMER
Just a few weeks ago, the greatest scientists from around the world were honored with Nobel Prizes. Top among these were many Americans whose brilliant minds have been devoted to arduous research for decades. Their work has been transformed into a slew of new advancements in medicine and technology, forever changing the landscape of human accomplishment and providing the next generation of scientists with an ever-rising foundation of knowledge.
The Americans' ennui toward the scientific Nobel Prizes is ironic. The three scientists sharing the Nobel Prize in medicine are Americans. Two of the three winners of the Nobel Prize in physics are Americans, and so is one of the three honored with the Nobel Prize in chemistry. If the Nobel Prizes were the Olympics, these scientists would be on the cover of Newsweek with their awards around their necks. But the only press coverage of these awards was of President Barack Obama's reception of the Nobel Peace Prize. America just seems to not care about science.
However, this event in commemorating the collective achievement of our entire civilization was met with indifference and ignorance by the American public.
Think of some famous scientists you know. You may be able
to name a few, such as Einsteinn, Newton or Galileo. But if I were to ask you to name a famous living scientist, what would you say? The only scientists we know are from our public education; they are simple relics of long-past eras when scientific advancement was the crowning apex of human achievement.
This disregard for the significance of science has had devastating effects nationally. There is a growing shortage of certified science and math teachers in public schools. Scientific illiteracy is rampant, as shown by a 2008 survey by the California Academy of Sciences. This study showed that 41 percent of people surveyed thought humans and dinosaurs coexisted in prehistoric time, and
Today in popular culture, scientists are portrayed as either socially irrelevant or morally antagonistic. A scientist is either the bumbling, inept man who is a genius in a lab but a dolt in a bar, or the arrogant, heartless villain who disregards ethics in favor of science. Our generation has no scientific heroes and only poor scientific stereotypes.
53 percent did not know how long it takes for the earth to revolve around the sun (for the half of you reading that don't know, it's one year).
The value of science needs to penetrate beyond research and medicine. Science has a tremendous value to influence the everyday lives of everyone. The food you eat, the car you drive, the computer you use and the medicine you take are all products of a man or woman working to improve your quality of life. We need to celebrate our modern-day scientific heroes who earned their Nobel Prizes and work to inspire a new generation of scientists.
But it is all too easy to blame the media and the public. The issue of the scientific neutering of America is much more complicated. The nature of scientific progress itself is partially responsible. Our recent discoveries have leapfrogged the general scientific knowledge easily accessible to the public. We have achieved so much in understanding the universe, atoms and our own biology that the most important research has become increasingly specialized and esoteric. How can we expect the average American to understand the enormous impact of a green fluorescent protein?
Folmshee is a Topeka senior in neurobiology.
POLITICS
Can Obama justify Nobel Prize win?
I woke up a few weeks ago and turned on my laptop to check the weather. This is not exactly an unusual event. Having grown up in Kansas, I know the value of making sure that if I dress for 50-degree weather, it isn't expected to jump up to 75 degrees within a few hours (for those of you who came out from state, this happens).
While making sure that I needed to wear a coat — and that plagues of locusts weren't expected to descend upon Lawrence before I was done with class — I noticed a headline that, quite frankly, I wasn't sure what to make of: "President Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize."
My thoughts: "Wait, what?
Um ... cool? Yeah, cool, I can see this."
My assumption was immediately that President Barack Obama had been given the award on the basis of his encouraging of increased peaceful international dialogue, particularly on the part of the country he'd just assumed leadership of. It turns out I was right on this. Not a surprise, since at the time nominations for the prize were due — early February — he had only been president for a week or so.
The panel that selects Nobel laureates cited Obama's "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." This meant two things. First, I totally called it. Second, he was given the award for fostering a mindset through words, and not for any sort of policy or program, as many winners have.
The fact that Obama was given the award based on provoking a mood, and not for any larger action, has provoked a great deal of criticism from, well, people who were already criticizing him. The general complaint was that he was getting a major award for not doing anything.
To clarify, Alfred Nobel wrote
The first and third criteria were obviously what the selection committee applied to Obama, especially before he was inaugurated and didn't hold much power to reduce any standing armies. Although it hasn't actually happened yet, Obama has been hung up on resolving America's obligations in post-liberation Afghanistan and Iraq, so give it a little while.
in his will that winners of the peace prize "shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."
All this being said, I was still fairly surprised by the win. According to one of his acceptance speeches, so was the president. But despite the seeming randomness and the feeling that there are bigger things Obama could accomplish that would be more substantive than encouraging a mindset through good speech-making and tact with foreign leaders, his win is not as bad as some conservatives have made it out to be.
A sitting American president has been given a highly regarded prize for support of international peace. Maybe — and hopefully — Obama will accomplish bigger things that will make the Nobel selection committee wish they'd waited a few years — maybe not. In the meantime, let's enjoy the recognition and get on with things.
Cohen is a Topeka senior in political science.
Challenging society
LETTERTO THE EDITOR
It's sad how every individual who enters and exits my life grows into the epitome of what a typical human being is.
Why has society bought into this delusion? Because peoples' eyes are closed; they have surrendered every shred of logic to the said biases above. They find themselves incapable of breaking free from the peer pressures of this media-tainted society.
It's the same thing time and time again. Humans giving in to their humanistic biases — greed, hate and naivety. People influenced by the nonsensical propaganda of the media, the media that sets unrealistic standards of how thin one should be or the unreasonable belief that one has to be in possession of a college degree to succeed in life. I already know two many people who come to college because of this. It continually demeans the value of knowledge.
And it is for that reason that I urge you to take a moment and ask yourself that one proverbial question: What truly matters in life? Forget what society has taught you, and for once in your life take a chance and believe in your own cognition. Disregard the delusion thrust upon you and consider the reality of the moment, of the future.
Consider one shred of logic that I have found universally true: There are no absolutes. Getting a college degree does not mean that you will indefinitely succeed in life; being thin doesn't guarantee you a good self-image.
I dare challenge society. I dare ask the questions that should not be asked. I dare color outside the lines and not in the typical "anticonformist" culture America has fostered. The question is: Do you?
— lan Tan is a sophomore from Malaysia.
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