▶ entertainment
▶ events
▶ issues
▶ music
▶ art
hilltopics
the university
wednesday
1.20.99
eight.a
daily kansan
By T. R. Miller
Features editor
Bring in the
As the final year of this millennium begins, New Year's resolutions would seem to be a higher priority. Personally, I have made several resolutions that I believe will not only benefit myself, but the people around me. I want to be a healthier, nicer person. I want to put more monkeys on the features page.
However, New Year's resolutions are getting a bad rap. Although some students and faculty members continue the tradition of setting goals for the coming year, the sentiment among many is floppant to almost scornful.
Perhaps it's because many share the same frustrations with keeping New Year's resolutions. Michelle Scobie-Noyola, Lawrence graduate student, has made resolutions concerning health and exercise in the past. But midway through the year, these goals usually give way to stress, she said.
"I don't do them because everyone else does them, and they usually fail." Scobie-Noyola said. "I don't want to set myself up for failure."
Sounds familiar, huh?
Perhaps the key to keeping resolutions is to see them as a continuation of goals. Deb Howes, health educator for Watkins Memorial Health Center, said her resolutions were just a revised version of her goals.
"My own personal goals are to maintain my exercise program, eat more fruits and vegetables and to read five to six novels a month," Howes said.
Kevin Yoder, Hutchinson senior and Student Body president, seems to use the goal revision tactic in his New Year's resolutions, too.
"My New Year's resolution is to keep the chancellor and the proinvest in line," he said.
The key to keeping New Year's resolutions is making them attainable Howes said. Although popular goals are to lose weight, exercise regularly, stop smoking, study more or drink less caffeine, patience is imminent for success.
"People want instant results," Howes said.
"Some people make New Year's resolutions that Superman can't attain."
Ryan Benlon, Shawne sophomore, said he wanted to keep in shape and keep his grades up this semester. He agreed it was important to set goals that were reasonable. In the past, Benlon has made resolutions that even a superhero couldn't attain.
Students, faculty make resolutions, but they aren't always easy to keep
New You
Do you think keeping your New Year's resolutions will be next to impossible? Take a look at these.
6. I will have to learn that "outer space may be a vacuum, but every vacuum is not necessarily outer space." Or at least that's what the owner of Dave's Vacuums told me after my failed attempt of a galactic voyage resulted
New Year's Resolutions for 1999
1. I will construct my own lawn furniture out of beer cans and duct tape.
2. I will replace all of my eating utensils with spatulas.
3. I will always wear a stethoscope under my shirt ... just in case.
5. I will no longer keep moray eels in my septic tank.
4. I will make sure that my pants are Y2K compliant.
By Steph Brewer
Associate features editor
I'm a little behind on my New Year resolutions this year. It's already the middle of January, and I'm still firmly
set in my unhealthy, sloth-like ways with no plans to change. I could forgo the whole process but that just wouldn't seem right. So here it goes: My New Year's resolution is to not bite my toenails in the presence of others. I also resolve not to beat up my imaginary friends when I'm cranky and not to go grocery shopping in the nude. I should reveal that I have neyer engaged in any of these activities. Hence, these resolutions will be very easy to keep.
None of this resolving to exercise, eat healthy, stop smoking/drinking for me. This year I'm going for the gold. Just watch me go through a whole year without munching my toenails in public and marvel at my self-control. However, not everyone can be as disciplined.
Chris Griggs, Emporia senior, said he wasn't making any resolutions this year. Last year, he resolved to do better in school and get in shape. It didn't quite work out.
"New Year's resolutions are made to be broken," he said.
The main problem with resolutions is the type of promises people tend to make.
"People have their habits, and most New Year's resolutions are made to change those habits," Griggs said.
General thought surrounding resolutions is that bad habits should be broken. Although it's good to resolve to make radical changes, it isn't always realistic. Take exercise: Most people, at one time or another, have resolved to get in shape.
Griggs and his roommate, Jeff Torchia,
Spring Hill senior, said they joined a gym
"New Year's resolutions are made to be broken."
Chris Griggs
Emporia senior
seems like a sure-fire way to stick to an exercise resolution.
Justin Griffin, who works the front desk at Lawrence Athletic Club, said the new year often brought a significant number of new clients. That doesn't mean the gym comes alive with former couple potatoes busting their buns, though. Griffin said he noticed an upsure in exercise nuts only for the first month of the year.
"After that it really slows down, so I don't think they follow through," he said.
The problem with most exercise resolutions is that people expect too much.
"It takes time to get fit," Griffin said.
This is definitely something I can relate to. I made my resolution to exercise the beginning of this year. I joined a gym and I swore up and down that I would go at least a two times a week. I even picked the exercise classes that I would go to. But after a couple sessions when my abs still had no resemblance to steel, I gave up.
Sitting on my butt and drinking gin and tonics may not tone my biceps, but it beats drowning in my own sweat as I stare environly at those who actually have arm muscles.
Besides, every time I have delusions of grandeur and swear that I will run 10 miles a day and only eat carrots, I feel like a bum when I fail.
Saffron Bruner, Olathe junior, said she used to make resolutions but stopped because she always was disappointed in herself for not following through on her promises.
"I just end up breaking them, so I don't see the point," she said.
-photos by anthony augustus piazza
in the destruction of half a dozen of his vacuum cleaners.
Monkey: T.R. wasn't lying when she resolved to put more monkeys on the features page.
7. I will attempt to keep my use of the word "hullabaloo" to a minimum.
Scale: The results of holiday chow-fests lead many students to resolve to bust their guts.
Feet: Steph's toenails are long and shapely as a result of her no-nibbling resolution.
Photos clockwise from upper left:
Cigarettes: One way to keep a no-smoking resolution is to shred the evidence.
8. I will celebrate George Washington's birthday for fear that if I don't, he'll crawl out of his grave and eat my brains.
Coffee: Some students resolve to throw away their caffee habit.
Book: Reading more books is an admirable resolution. Reading a book about monkeys may be even better.
9. I will continue to remain highly skeptical of my own existence.
10. I'll try to convince myself that not every closed box contains a shrunken head. Although, if you think about it, why else
would a box be closed unless it housed a shrunken head? Is that such an outrageous assumption?
source: www.sock-monkey.com/nine. html