Thursday, November 5, 1998 The University Daily Kansan Section A · Page 5 Cancer lives on in survivors' thoughts Continued from page 1A Facing death Physically removing the cancer from Barbuto's and Laughlin's bodies did not take it out of their lives. A fear of death plagued both of them throughout their battle. Laughlin said that she had thought people did not have to face death until they were older,but sometimes death is closer than they think. "I did a lot of churchgoing." he said. "I became more devout." Harbuto confronted his fear through religion. "They are dreaming dreams," she said. "They are just starting out in the phase of what they are going to be. Cancer really interrupts this phase." Younger patients have difficulties putting their lives on hold to battle cancer, she said. Source: Mortality tape (1993) from National Center for Health Statistics Kristi Elliott / KAANNA Teresa Long, director of consultation of psychiatry at the Med Center, said that cancer also disturbed the belief held by many young adults that they had their whole lives to have children. Young adult cancer patients are forced to take action to secure their dreams. Suzie Taylor, a facilitator for the breast cancer support group that Laughlin attends, said that dealing with cancer's emotional effects was especially difficult for younger patients. "When you're in your teens or 20s, it's so much more riveting and gripping," Taylor said. "It's so much more unfair." To cope with the possibility that chemotherapy could make him sterile, Barbuto saw a reproductive specialist and had his sperm frozen. Laughlin, who already was a mother, found it difficult to fight cancer and raise her daughter. "I don't even know if I wrote down her first crawl, her first word," she said. "I felt like I missed a lot." Physical changes Cancer treatment took its toll on Laughlin's young body. Doctors had prescribed drugs to reduce the nausea caused by chemotherapy. The drugs affected her memory. "I was so out of it with the drugs. I didn't care that I didn't have any hair." Laughlin said. Hair loss and a 30-pound weight gain, the result of medication, made Barbuto look like a different person. While with his friends at a restaurant in Lawrence, Barbuto learned that a waitress who had served him in the past no longer recognized him. She said to someone in the group: "Your friend looks like Uncle Fester." "That's Rich." his friend replied. Barbuto can find humor in the incident. "It was pretty funny to see the reaction of the waitress," he said. Social changes Cancer also affected Laughlin's and Barbuto's friendships. Laughlin was afraid to tell one of her closest friends about her dis- "You don't want to burden people that age with that kind of problem." Laughlin said. Barbuto said the experience showed him who his real friends were. His biggest shock came when his girlfriend decided that she could not cope with his cancer. When they were together, she consistently brought up the name of another male friend. Barbuto eventually saw what was coming. She had a hard time dealing with it," Barbuto said. "Her solution was not to deal with it." Long, director of consultation of psychiatry at the Med Center, said that friends who abandoned a college cancer patient probably did not want a reminder that the disease could strike at such a young age. Both Barbuto and Laughlin said that they did have friends who were there for them. One of Laughlin's friends came to her house and cooked dinner after each of Laughlin's chemotherapy treatments. barbuto's pals often used humor to cope. More than once, they drank a toast to his missing testicle while they were out at a bar. And some acquaintances gave him such solid support that they became his close friends. Looking to the future Although friendships may help young cancer victims through the rough moments of the disease, the battle never really ends. "It's hard to stop thinking about the worst," Barbuto said. "I don't know if I have a tumor in my lung." Barbuto still has to have blood tests and X-rays taken every two months to ensure that the cancer has not reappeared. He has become cautious with health. "I don't like going to smoky bars anymore," he said. "I cut way back on drinking. I eat healthier. I try not to put myself in a position where bad things can happen." I wonder, if I had slowed down my drinking, would things be different? Did I do it to myself?" she asked. Laughlin worries that drinking heavily in her early college days may have put her at higher risk. Now, she is more aware of her body. "If I feel like something is wrong with my body, I get it checked out," she said. And she gets angry when she sees college-age women ignoring their health. Through it all— the surgery, the physical changes and the mental anguish— both Laughlin and Barbuto have endured and look hopefully toward the future. Laughlin continues to teach at the University, and Barbuto is a junior at St. Mary College in Leavenworth where he is majoring in chemistry and biology. He is considering pursuing an advanced degree in brewery science. And the cancer? "I don't plan on letting it dominate my life forever," Barburo said. Are you poor like Kenny? Trade your trash for cash!! VIDEO GAMES • Sony PlayStation • Nintendo 64 • PC CD ROM ntendo Game Boy Nintendo 7 East Seventh 331-0080 shoes wallets handbags cigar cases Brighton Trunk Show day planners watches Saturday November 7th body products key fobs 10:00 - 5:30 p.m. fragrances The sterling silver Etc. Shop 928 Massachussetts Lawrence, Kansas (785) 843-0611 We Buy, Sell, Trade & Consign USED & New Sports Equipment 841-PLAY 1029 Massachusetts "I thought my grandma was old... Then I saw her new car! 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