8A
Wednesday, October 30,1996
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Parents' breakup distracting for students
STA
STA TRAVEL
We've been there
Divorce never is an easy situation, even for college students who don't live at home. Parents' divorces can lead to several complex emotions and problems for students.
Some couples want to leave empty nest after kids move out
"One of the worst things about divorce is that it cuts a family income in half," said Eric Vemberg, associate professor of psychology. "This may put more pressure on the student to come up with money for tuition."
By Megan Jordan Kansan staff writer
800-777-0112
He said that many students still were financially dependent on their parents in some way and that a divorce could threaten this stable
source of support.
Vernberg also said that because students were older, their parents might confide in them about the divorce or look to them for support and advice. Although they may enjoy being treated as adults, college students still need their parents to act as parents, he said. Hearing about Dad's faults or discussing Mom's dating life can be uncomfortable.
Vernberg said divorce presented yet another problem for college students who are forming their own dating relationships. Seeing parents, whom they may have viewed as solid role models, break up, may cause insecurity in their own relationships. Students can begin to question if it is possible for a couple to remain married and if romantic relations are worth their time.
Linda Keeler, psychiatrist for Counseling and Psychological Services, said a parent's divorce might
"It was easy to block it out for a couple days if I had a big test or something."
Lindsay Green Lee's Summit, Mo., junior
be difficult because students would keep their own stress inside because they did not want to add to their parents' burdens.
Lindsay Green, Lee's Summit, Mo., junior, said that she experienced many of these feelings when her parents divorced her freshman year
"It was easy to block it out for a couple days if I had a big test or something," she said.
Keeler said older children whose parents divorced had an advantage compared to younger children because they understood divorce better. Even if they did not like the situation, they could appreciate the reasons behind it and feel some relief that a bad relationship was ending.
but that in some ways she was glad to be away at college during the separation.
Green affirmed that it was difficult to balance the stress of college life while dealing with family turmoil.
This would not have been possible if she had been living with the problem every day. Green also said she was thankful her parents were together the entire time she lived at home.
Although many adults divorce when their children are young, it is not uncommon for parents to separate when their children go to college, Keeler said.
Both Keeler and Vernberg said if worries about the divorce were interfering with academic or social life, students should seek counseling.
"My brothers had to deal with it every day," she said. "At the same time, it was harder on me because I wanted to help and be a support for everyone. I couldn't do all those things while I was at school."
"A child may be a source of stalinity for a family, and when they leave it's no longer there," she said. "A child leaving for college may be a period in time where a couple may take a second look at their relationship together."
Although parents may choose to stay together for their children, Keeler pointed out that it was not students' fault if a divorce occurred after they left home.
Counseling and advice affordable for students
Difficult situations can often be ignored because of denial
By Megan Jordan Kansan staff writer
Sometimes, therapy and counseling can be like a trip to the dentist.
When students have a toothache, they don't look forward to visiting the dentist, said Frank DeSalvo, director of Counseling and Psychological Services. And when students are dealing with an emotional or psychological issue, they don't look forward to visiting a therapist.
"It means dealing with the problem,"DeSalvo said.
When students do decide to talk about their problems, however, two offices at the University of Kansas offer a helpful ear.
CAPS has been on campus for six years and is financed by the student health fee. It offers psychological services for individuals, groups, couples and families, stress management courses and career counseling and planning. DeSalvo said that although many students came to CAPS for career assistance, about 1,200 students a year came for clinical reasons.
"People generally come to us feeling depressed or anxious," he said. "They are typically anxious about relationship concerns or academic concerns."
The first visit to CAPS is free; each
additional session is $9. Students are limited to 15 clinical sessions. DeSalvo said that the students who came to CAPS usually were not mentally ill and that their concerns could be handled in less than 15 sessions. CAPS has the advantage of being staffed by professionals who specialize in the college-aged population, DeSalvo said.
"We understand the difficulties of having a roommate, of carrying on a long-distance relationship, and the academic stress of being a pre-med or architecture major," he said.
If students think they want a longer relationship with a counselor, they can visit the KU Psychological Clinic in Fraser Hall. The clinic is staffed by clinical psychology students working toward a Ph.D. They have com-
plotted at least one year of graduate work and are overseen by certified professionals. A student's first visit is free. Following sessions are $6.
In addition to clinical services, the clinic offers psychological assessment services and personality and ability tests. It is open to students, faculty and staff, and the community.
Ray Higgins, director of the clinic, said that although the clinic offered a low cost and convenient location, students remained somewhat hesitant to seek help. Students often think that they are the only person with a particular problem and are embarrassed to voice their feelings, he said.
When students do decide to visit the clinic or CAPS, however, they
Services on campus
Counselling and Psychological Services, 864-2277
Monday, Thursday and Friday:
8 a.m. - 5 p.m.
Tuesday and Wednesday: 8 a.m.-8 p.m.
KU Psychological Clinic, 864- 4121
— tuesday and Thursday: 8 a.m.
- 7 p.m.
Monday, Wednesday and Friday: 8 a.m. - 5 p.m.
will find that this is a gross miscofecion.
"There aren't many problems in this world that aren't shared by other folks," Higgins said.
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Christine Tonkovich
EXPERIENCED•RESPECTED•TRUSTED
EXPERIENCED
- Douglas County District Attorney.
- Douglas County prosecutor for the past 7 years.
- Prosecuted every type of case.
- Prosecuted every type of case.
* Supervises 9 full-time prosecutors.
- Supervises 9 full-time prosecutors.
- KU Law School graduate.
- Appointed temporary District Attorney in 1994 by all 5
- Clinical Instructor, KU Law School.
- Appointed the District Attorney in 1996 by Governor Graves.
- Rex Johnson, former Douglas County Sheriff, and Dick Stanwix, former Lawrence Police Chief, are campaign committee members.
RESPECTED
- Supported by the last 3 District Attorneys.
- Supported by all the prosecutors in Douglas County.
- Supported by law enforcement officers throughout Douglas County.
- Douglas County District Judges
- Supported by all the prosecutors in Douglas County.
TRUSTED
- Reputation for the highest integrity.
- Record of the highest ethical conduct.
Compare the Candidates.
Retain Christine Tonkovich
District Attorney
P.O. Box 1064
Lawrence, KS 66044
http://www.idir.net/~cktonk/
POLADV
Paid for by Tonkovich D.A. Campaign, Diane Deutsch, Treasurer
Working
for excellence in our public schools and universities.
Working
to fight adult and juvenile crime for community safety and stability.
Working
to create jobs in a stronger economy while preserving a clean environment.
Working
for affordable, quality health care
Working
for tax relief that treats all Kansans fairly
---
I would appreciate your vote.
VOTE NOVEMBER 5,1996
Barbara Ballard
State Representative Forty-Fourth
Campaign Treasurer Chuck Fisher • Campaign Manager Mary Wei