u n i v e r s i t y d a i l y k a n s a n
entertainment
Thursday, October 24, 1996
58
Courtship an alternative to dating
By Erin Rooney
Kansan staff writer
The race for the Kansas 2nd Congressional seat has brought a number of issues to the forefront of conversation. At the top of the barrel is dating.
In November 1995, Jim Ryun wrote an article for Focus on the Family explaining the ideas behind courtship and why his family has chosen those ideas for his children instead of today's dating practices. Beyond the political conversation, courtship is an alternative for many college students hoping to find a mate for marriage.
"Ive asked for my parents' input in
my life," said Heather Ryun, Lawrence junior and oldest daughter in the Ryun family. "I've seen the love that my parents have in their marriage, and that is the love I want to have in mine. I want this in my life. It's not something that is being put on me."
Courtship, as explained in the article, suggests that a young man who is interested in a woman should begin by praying about the relationship. With approval from his parents and the Lord, the man approaches the woman's father. A conversation follows that outlines the expectations of the man for the courtship.
Before the courtship begins, the man will spend time with the
woman's father, and they will get to know one another. After this act, the man and the woman will spend time together with the families doing family- and service-oriented activities.
Not all students agree with this ideology.
Grant Hepburn, Omaha, Neb., freshman, values the independence he's gained since he arrived at the University of Kansas.
"Normally you ask a girl out, and it's a one-on-one thing," he said. "It shouldn't involve parents, not at this age when you're on your own. You need to cut the umbilical cord."
Isma Lindgren, Brighton, Colo,
junior, said that courtship was the
best choice for her life. Her boyfriend
wrote a letter to her father in Colorado to introduce himself before courting Lindgren.
"With the current divorce rate, you can see that dating isn't successful," Lindgren said. "Courtship offers a different alternative that offers a better success rate."
Courtship expects the man to be spiritually and financially prepared to marry the woman if the two fall in love, Jason Rocché, Stillwell, Ark., freshman, said financial status shouldn't be a part of the issue.
"If you're 18 years old, how could you prove your financial status?" Rocché asked. "Sure, you have goals in life, but you don't have a real job." Tom Craven, Stilwell freshman.
agreed with Rocché about finances. He said that it took the personal issues out of dating.
"It seems like more of a partnership for a corporation," he said. "It's like a business thing where you're looking for financial backing."
Courtship is not for everyone, Heather Ryun said. She said she respected the other viewpoints but wanted her father to be a part of the biggest decision that she will make in her life.
"I still think that it would scare most guys off," said Jon Lynch, Omaha, Neb., freshman. "I'd think it was weird if a girl my age told me I have to meet her daddy first. I'd probably think she was joking."
Bangladesh Club's cultural show to be benefit for Bosnia
The suffering of people in wartorn countries often is reduced to a temporary distraction in the bustle of daily lives of Americans, especially if those countries are far away from the United States.
By Nicholas Charalambous
Kansan staff writer
But the KU Bangladesh Club hopes that screening two documentary films on the war in Bosnia and the 1971 Bangladesh war of independence will help students draw comparisons between the wars and sharpen students' understanding of them.
"You have the same displacement of people, ruthless killings on both sides, just destruction everywhere," said Samir Abdullah, Chiptagong, Bangladesh, sophomore and president of the club.
Ethnic and language differences were among the reasons for Bangladesh's war of independence against Pakistan, in which more than 3 million people died, said Sharif Ahmed, KU graduate and club member.
The tribute to Bosnia will form part of a cultural show, Sonar-
KU Bangladesh Club will collect donations for aid to Bosnia that will be distributed by the Red Crescent, an Islamic aid agency, said Emdad Haque, KU graduate and club member.
gaon: A Journey Through Bengali Culture, at 7 p.m. Saturday at the Lied Center. The event is free.
The event will mix traditional Bengali dance and modern Bengali pop music. The national dress of Africa, Malaysia, India, Bangladesh and Pakistan will be displayed in collaboration with the International Students Association.
"We are doing this to show our culture," Abdullah said. "It also makes us feel more at home. It brings our community here closer together."
New fashions by Kansas City designers Deon Durr and John Garcellano, who are friends of the organizers, also will be modeled.
Haque said the event had a variety of elements to attract as many students as possible.
"This show is not going to be only for Bangladeshi students," he said.
COMMENTARY
The term "alcoholic" has no meaning among college students.
At KU,nondrinkers often are a rare find
To call someone an alcoholic doesn't really distinguish him or her from anyone else. It's like describing that guy in your sociology class as an earthing. Everybody is one, the term becomes meaningless.
By Jeff Ruby
Kansan staff writer
We at the University of Kansas drink without thinking about it. It's as natural as breathing. When it comes to entertaining ourselves in Lawrence once Friday rolls around, most of us struggle between two choices: getting drunk at home or going out to drink.
Since Lawrence is the generic beer-soaked college town, everything here revolves around liquor. As students, we simply don't know what else to do. It's gotten to the point that college students rarely consider other alternatives to weekend intoxication except maybe a movie.
Of course, when we go to a movie, we usually go somewhere
to get drunk afterward. Some of us
get drunk before. Others sneak
beer in and roll the empty bottles
down the aisle when we're done.
Going to shoot pool? Gotta have a cigarette in your mouth and a beer in your hand. Gambling? Yeah, let's go to the boats; drinks are cheap. How about dancing? Drink specials and dancing go together like Bacardi and Coke. Football games? Come on. It would be a waste of space to go into the ageold marriage between the pigskin and Budweiser.
In other words, whether you live in a residence hall, a house, an apartment or a sorority or fraternity, it becomes more of a hassle not to drink. Particularly when all of our friends are doing kegstands next door and through the wall you hear a group of rowdy men and women chanting." Drink, drink, drink, drink..."
Ironically, we're quick to condemn anyone outside the college environment who has a problem with alcohol. Because we honestly believe it's OK to get wasted for four or five years as long as we don't get wasted our whole life.
And maybe it is.
It seems everyone drinks. Suddenly you're bumping into people who never drank back in high school, and now they're beginning conversations with, "Oh, man, I was so hammered last night, you'll never believe what happened..."
And if you meet that rare person who doesn't drink, somehow that becomes the defining characteristic of that person's life for four years. "Oh, yeah. I forgot — you don't drink," we say again and again, separating him or her from the rest of us normal folks. And we think he has to have a good reason as. As if one must have a parent who struggled with alcohol to justify not wanting to pour a beer bong down our throats.
But the nondrinker is not cast out — because he's needed to drive the rest of us home. He is studied suspiciously, asked why he doesn't drink, told he is admired. "I wish I could do that," we say to him while waiting for our buddies to show up so we can leave for Free State.
We don't need an excuse to drink these days. We need an excuse not to.
BIG NIGHT (R) 4:30 7:00 9:30
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