LAWRENCE JOURNAL-WORLD
STUDENT LIFE
SATURDAY, AUGUST 17. 1996 3D
Communication key to sharing close quarters
- Roommates are often a big gamble, but ground rules can help ease potential conflicts.
BY CARRIE A. PATTON
SPECIAL TO THE JOURNAL-WORLD
Before Paul Blatnak met his roommate, he didn't know what to expect.
"I didn't know what type of person he was, or if we'd get along or have anything in common," Blatnak said. "I wondered if we'd have conflicting personalities."
Blatnak, Mequon, Wis., freshman, is one of many Kansas University students who chose to live with complete strangers. Blatnak was randomly assigned a roommate for his double-occupancy room in Ellsworth Hall.
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FOR BETTER OR WORSE
Christopher Keuss, a St. Louis freshman, said that having different schedules was sometimes a problem for him and his roommate.
"I tried to show him respect by dressing in the dark every morning," Keuss said. "I had to get up at 5 a.m. for ROTC, and I didn't want to wake him up."
- Study patterns — music off during study time?
The Student Housing Handbook recommends students discuss these issues with their roommates during the first few days of school:
- Anticipated bedtime
Sharing a room with an unfamiliar person can aggravate the stresses of leaving home and starting college, making conflict between roommates almost inevitable, according to Brian Green, Omaha, Neb., junior and Oliver Hall resident assistant.
Resident assistants are trained to advise residents on dealing with academic, social and personal concerns while enforcing residence hall policies.
on or off during study time?
• Smoking in the room
Green said that when strangers live together, they frequently have different values, beliefs and ways of living that are sometimes hard to reconcile. He cited personality conflicts as the most common source of roommate tension.
"One roommate might be a partner, when the other is a studier," Green said. "Usually the quieter one will want to sit down and discuss the problem with his roommate or will want to move out."
Residents may switch roommates or move into a new room at any time after the first two weeks of classes. Resident assistants and other staff members know the procedure for room changes, according to the Department of Student Housing handbook.
- Smoking in the room
- Cleaning responsibilities
Brian Green, Omaha, Neb., junior at KU and Oliver Hall resident assistant, is trained to advise residents on dealing with academic social, an personal concerns while enforcing residence hall policies.
MIKE YODER/JOURNAL-WORLD PHOTO
- Setting and turning off the alarm
Roommates may also have different standards of cleanliness in
- Late-night visitors and overnight quests
- How your roommate feels about lending things to others.
their housekeeping and personal hygiene habits.
"In one situation, both roommates didn't have very strong personal hygiene habits," Green said. "One told the other right off the bat, 'if I start to smell, just tell me to take a shower because I really don't shower very much at all.' But the roommate didn't shower much either and they got along great."
Keuss said that his whole room smells like fish because his roommate works in a seafood market.
"Toward the end of the fall semester, people wouldn't even come in the room, it smelled so bad," he said.
Keuss confronted his roommate, who agreed to store his work clothes in a plastic container to control the odor.
Green stressed the importance of communication in resolving roommate conflicts.
"Each resident needs to come to a conscious realization of he roommate's concerns." he said.
Another common conflict, Green said, is when one roommate will bring a date over to spend the night.
"It shows a real lack of respect for a roommate's privacy to have sex in his presence. It is a delicate situation to address," Green said.
Blatnak once confronted a roommate about that issue.
"The next day I told him that it was kind of a hard situation for me to deal with and asked him
how I should handle it next time. He said that he wouldn't do it again with me in the room."
Blatnak said his roommate kept their agreement.
Green said that resident assistants are trained in conflict mediation. He asks arguing roommates to sit down and confront each other in his presence. In some cases, a roommate agreement will be created, listing rules that both roommates agree to abide by. If these methods fail, the roommates will be separated as a last resort.
Working through roommate problems is an important part of college, Green said, because people grow through learning conflict resolution skills. He says living with a stranger is a good experience for most freshmen.
"It forces them to deal with people they otherwise wouldn't come into conflict with" Green said. "Most roommates can resolve conflicts and make it through the year. Frequently, roommates who didn't get along at first end up being really good friends."
Green advises incoming freshmen who are wary of potential roommate problems to "be open-minded, communicate your expectations and be flexible."
Involvement often cures big-city blues
- The faster pace of Lawrence and Kansas University may leave students from smaller towns bewildered.
BY RYAN LARUE
SPECIAL TO THE JOURNAL-WORLD
Every incoming student feels some pressure when making the transition from high school to Kansas University. That period can be especially hard for students who grew up enjoying the solitude and security of a small town.
Handlin is involved with the KU Ambassadors, a group that gives campus tours and information to students interested in becoming KU students.
"There are so many opportunities at KU compared to a small town," said Jeff Handlin, a sophomore from Quinter. "Just get involved in one or two things and you'll start to meet people."
The key to surviving the culture shock, many say, is getting involved.
Students who have been through the transition said being part of a group—a dormitory, fraternity or sorority—was most helpful.
The quickpace of life combined with the sheer size of KU and Lawrence often leaves small-town students frustrated.
Trent Krug, a senior from Russell and a member of the Sigma Nu fraternity said, "In Russell, everyone knew who I was. Then I came here and no one knew who I was. The fraternity helped me with that, giving me a support group of friends."
see Activities, page 5D