THE UNIVERSITY DAILY GANSAN
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2013
PAGE 4
opinion
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You know you're an old lady when your professor references "Downton Abbey" and you're the only person who knows what she's talking about.
Please do not wear your high school senior hoodies, freshman. Repeat: DO NOT wear your senior hoodies! Outdated.
I took the sidewalk less scooped, and it made all the difference.
That moment when you're about to take off your backpack in class and realize nothing's on your back...
Sometimes I like to tromp around in the snow and pretend I'm a Russian explorer.
Let it snow, let it snow.
Where does Jeff Withey buy his pants?
Does he just buy two pairs and then stitch them up?
Bill Self gets a technical, the Iowa State crowd quiet down.
Huzzah!
How in the world do I get my favorite paper when we have a snow day? *Editor's note:* We post the PDF online!
Elijah Johnson.
Go home ice, school is already cancelled.
I sent in a funny FFA, and now no one will see it because of a snow day. (
I realized I am a terrible person when I laughed at that Iowa State child crying.
It seems Hilton Magic only works first and second half.
EJ's so strong, he makes little kids cry.
To all of the Elijah haters out there:
'Nuff Said.
Everyone should be sure to thank their favorite atmospheric science student for all the recent snow days!
Bill Self style: Build 'em hopes up; shut them down.
Just because it's snowing, it does NOT mean it's OK to play Christmas music.
All day marathon of Star Wars? Don't mind if I do!
Go to class in this weather? You couldn't pay me. Go to the bars? Not even an issue.
So shorts are not acceptable in snow but leggings are? Please explain.
Stop complaining about how many hours you have to take. You're in college, it's expected — you're not special.
Saw a guy flying a kite in the freezing rain last night outside of McCollum...
What the heck?
ELUAH! YOU ARE THE MAN!!!
The only time a selfie is acceptable is in snapchat. Stop posting one every day on Facebook! No one cares!
Minimum wage good for the middle class
Raising the minimum wage is one of the most efficient and powerful changes the federal government can make to help rebuild the middle class. There are arguments in both courts, but the new federal benefits nearly always outweigh its problems.
Job creators are not the gargantuan corporations or their overpaid armies of CEOs, COOs, and presidents. Anyone who's been an entrepreneur for more than five minutes knows that maximizing profits does not mean hiring more employees. That is a last resort. I mean dying-on-a-desert-island drink-your-own-pee last resort.
I called up my manager at my summer job and asked about picking up the spatula over winter break. He said that he'd already been told to drop every full-timer to part time. The boys and girls upstairs in pinstripes at the Four Seasons would rather
lose a finger than hire more.
We the people need to squeeze businesses like the bulbous sit they are and force them to hire more of us. That means buying power. That means less cash to monthly bills and food, and more to luxury items and services. That means more than eight frowning presidents an hour.
Businesses begin to squirm when they hear talk like this. They know that an increased minimum wage is an upfront expense right out of their pockets, and that's all they really care about: maximizing immediate profits. When these businesses' lobbyists head to Capitol Hill they just slide some campaign funds across the table, adjust their ties, and give their best Barney Stinson wink. Hello, political stagnation.
They need some rough and tough manhandling if we want to change this. Businesses might suffer the torture of compensating their employees fairly. Watch out if you follow Donald Trump on twitter, he'll have a manifesto ready to live-tweet.
The more money workers in the middle and lower classes have, the more they can invest into their communities and even back into the companies they've worked so many years for. Instead of companies treating their employees like leeches, and employees treating their companies like overlords, we can return to a time when the relationship between employee and business was symbiotic.
Speaking of times far gone,
did you know that the minimum wage has been relatively static since the 1950s? The U.S. Department of Labor reports wage statistics annually, and the minimum wage peaked in the late 1960s, dropped right back down, and sat comfortably at just under $5 until last year, when it finally broke that ceiling. Ever heard of inflation? Yeah, it hasn't been compensated for.
When demand outstrips supply is when companies have to hire up. When businesses cannot physically keep up with the products or services that their customers want is the only realistic and consistent scenario when more workers are hired. Why are droves of seasonal employees swooped up during the holidays? Because someone needs to suit up as Old Saint Nick and entertain some preschoolers. Back when I was a disciple of Santa I always thought it odd that he hovered somewhere between 300 and
400 pounds depending on the mall we were at, though I usually chalked it up to the Atkins Diet.
We'll hear dozens of testimonies from helmet-haired, high-power types in the coming weeks. As this issue evolves, statistics will be thrown around and someone somewhere will get mad about taxes. But through it all think about this: do you really think Walmart, McDonald's, and Apple give two farts about their employees? Are the politicians they've glued securely under their thumb arguing for the well-being of the middle class or quarterly profits? Would the Atkins Diet really do all that much for Santa anyway?
Kenney is a freshman majoring in political science and journalism from Shawnee.
CAMPUS
Tips on how to be a 'tabler' on Wescoe Beach
While navigating the snowy tundra that is campus this week, it's
While navigating the snowy tundra that is campus this week, it's hard to recall what Wescoe Beach looked like during the warmer months. Girls tanning their legs in the sun, the hot dog man selling his $2 dogs, and everyone trying to decide if the renovation that took all summer is actually uglier than before.
But there's another, darker side to Wescoe Beach on a sunny day, and that is the tablers, the absolute lowest on the sidewalk totem pole. These are the people who have been exploited by their organizations into pestering you for your signature, your cash, or your attendance at an event.
When I pass these poor souls, it usually elicits one of two reactions:
(1) Uh oh, it's that [insert any student organization] person again. Do I risk life and limb trying to cross the street? Do I put in headphones? Do I fake a phone call, the most degrading form of avoidance?
(2) Simple pity.
This may seem harsh, especially since I have been a tabler before and understand their unique, public plight. But within my organizations, I will do anything to avoid that dreaded job. Take out all the trash after an event? Yes. Sit in the dunk tank at a fundraiser? Fine. Work childcare at a fundraiser? Sign me up (those who know me and my ineptitude with children will understand how serious this is).
Why am I willing to do all the terrible jobs instead of just sitting at a table on Wescoe or in the Union? Because real, effective tabling is hard, and frankly, I'm not very good at it. Luckily, I have plenty of advice for those of you who find yourselves getting a "Tabling tomorrow" email on a Sunday night. This comes from both personal screw-ups and from my great vantage point at the KU Info desk at the Kansas Union.
1. BE AN EXTROVERT
If you you're not good at approaching people you don't know with information they don't want to hear, then forget about it. Introverts are the worst kind of tablers. No offense to us, introverts. We're good at other things. Simply sitting at a table with some form of flyer in front of you is just a waste of your time.
2. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SIGNAGE
Have you ever passed a table with no readily visible identification, and been like, "why would I stop there?" Either that or a sign with tiny, unreadable print or some arbitrary slogan like "Join the team!" If you can't draw people in a 0.2-second glance, you've already lost.
3. FREE STUFF
This is really the cardinal rule of tabling. If you don't have some kind of dollar store candy or giant pen or poorly designed T-shirt to peddle, you're fighting an uphill battle. If @freefoodatku Twitter account tells us anything, it's that the best way to get students to show up is to hand them a goodie bag at the door. The cheaper, the better.
4. (OPTIONAL, BUT RECOMMENDED) BE ATTRACTIVE
Self-explanatory. Maybe run a brush through your hair today?
Mayfield is a junior studying journalism, political science and leadership from Overland Park.
CAMPUS CHIRPS BACK
@mattherr07
@UDK. Opinion I saw Elijah on campus wearing army pants and flip flops, so I went out and bought army pants and flip flops.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
By late Sunday, the Internet became familiar with Seth MacFarlane's tasteless Oscar jokes, running on tasteless themes of objectification, sexual harassment in the workplace, and anti-Semitism.
Although the jokes concerned adults, MacFarlane had no problem including children in his sketches. Throughout the night, MacFarlane picked on 9-year-old Quvenzhane Wallis, the youngest Oscar nominee in history, routinely using her unique name as a source of laughter. He openly stated that she would be too old as a romantic partner for George Clooney once she came of age, and suggesting that she may be just a little too sassy for her age.
Just as the evening could not become even cruder, the Onion, a satirical newspaper source, called Ms. Wallis a "c***" on Twitter. A controversy is boiling throughout the Internet, with much outrage toward the Onion, but also from supporters who believe that a joke is a joke and any outrage is due to "overt political correctness."
In our imaginary post-
racial society, it is a faux pas to
acknowledge historical context
because of its perceived divisiveness, but it is always necessary, especially for this reason: black children in this country have not been afforded the same rights of "innocence" guaranteed to others. In fact, black girls and women are routinely cast as uptight, angry, promiscuous, and unfeminine. This language has even contributed to sexual violence: in a country where black men have perished under vigilantism from accusations of raping white women, no whites were ever persecuted for sexual assault against black girls or women, because they were "too slutty to be raped."
After Newtown, we demanded that the innocence of children be protected. Yet in a society where innocence is valued in some children and not others, we must ask ourselves why we let that inequality fester among our youth.
Cassandra Osei, undergraduate in history and Latin American & Caribbean studies.
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@UDK Opinion TOO STRONG!
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