THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
PAGE 4A
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If she doesn't remember the Chiefs being good, she's too young for you, bro.
Kansas weather never picks a season. Just wait five minutes, it'll change.
Ochem should be taught at Hogwarts. I ain't got time to learn magic.
I a quadditch player that has never read or seen the Harry Potter books and movies., I just like hitting people.
When in doubt, add glitter.
To the person who just saw me walk out of the bathroom with safety glasses on, I swear it was unrelated.
So the Plaza burns down Tuesday, we get a massive blizzard Wednesday, and the OChem2 test is Thursday. Tragedy DOES come in threes!
What's wrong with adults watching cartoons in the morning?!
I gave Facebook up for Lent because it was taking over my life.
The person who wields a wand is magical. The lightsaber, dangerous and exciting. But the sonic screwdriver? Downright sexy.
If you're a music major and you're just sleeping all the time, you're doing it wrong.
You're all fools. Anyone who doesn't pick a Green Lantern ring is wrong.
I have become socially brain dead.
But I got my academic brain working,
I guess that works.
Music majors having no homework? I literally don't even know where to begin to tell you how incredibly wrong you are.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21. 2013
What are you gonna do with a tricorder? Scan me to death?
Watching cartons in the morning doesn't make you too young. It makes you awesome.
I'm gonna start sending pictures to the FFA. It's 2013. We should have visual FFs.
How are you just going to assume I'm in a sorority?
Someone bumped into me in line at The Hawk. I turned to throw a punch, saw it was Releford, and promptly punched myself in the face.
Drunk sledding anyone???
You know a storm is coming when the KU campus workers are out spraying their "hope it doesn't snow" potion on the sidewalks.
To the person who told nonsorority girl to run, we've been together for four and a half months. It's exactly how it seems.
CELEBRITIES
Am I the only one who sometimes wishes that Facebook would just spontaneously shut down and all of the cell phone towers would fall over some day?
"I hate when other people have fun!" is what I hear when you complain about Harlem Shake videos.
To all the music majors complaining about yesterday's FFA, try engineering.
It's Beyoncé's world and we just live in it
eyonice. She doesn't need a last name. She doesn't need an introduction.
Beyonce is the best thing that has ever happened to America. It's an indisputable fact. Find me a person that doesn't like Beyoncé. She should be every female's role model and every guy's dream.
If there is one thing to take away from Beyonce's HBO Documentary, "Life is but a Dream," it's that Beyonce has remained relatively grounded given her uncharted success.
That's right. Beyoncé is just like the rest of us — she talks to herself, carries her Macbook around like it's a national treasure, cusses, laughs obnoxiously, cries in moments of weakness and makes questionable wardrobe choices. She does all of this with legs most of us could only dream of, an incredible voice and a bigger bank account than some small countries, all while sleeping with lay-Z.
ASSOCIATED PRESS
music industry's original diva, the queen herself. But the Destiny's Child star didn't build this empire overnight.
The cover of Vogue's March Power issue is graced with the
sex tape. Beyoncé started as and continues to be a determined, self-proclaimed perfectionist and talented singer who isn't going to stop anytime soon.
Beyoncé sits courtside before the NBA All-Star basketball game Sunday in Houston.
During her climb to the top,
Beyoncé had her peaks and pitfalls
and is no different than any one
else in this regard.
Beveron let fans into her life by talking about the personal struggles she has overcome, the battle between her father and former manager, who was unable to keep business and family relationships separate, and what inspired her to work even harder and eventually become her own manager. She didn't become famous overnight from a YouTube video or homemade, self-released
Not only did she work hard—you can't say she worked her ass off—but she did it all for the ladies. Beyoncé is the definition of girl power—sorry, Spice Girls. Jay-Z may have put a ring on it, but that didn't slow down Beyoncé's inner-independent woman.
In her documentary, she flawlessly explains her ongoing support for women and why she feels a sense of obligation to make women feel empowered.
"Women have to work much harder to make it in this world," Beyoncé said. "It really pisses me off that women don't get the same opportunities as men do, or money for that matter. Because, let's face it, money gives men the power to run the show. It gives men the power to define our values and to define what's sady and what's feminine, and that's
bullshit. At the end of the day, its not about equal rights, it's about how we think. We have to shape our own perception of how we view ourselves."
Her sense of empowerment shows through her strength and self-confidence. How many women could go on stage in what she wears?
Bottom line, Beyoncé is without a doubt an extremely gifted human being, who built her own empire and created her own success, like the rest of us can.
It's Beyoncé's world and we are all just living in it. Who runs this mother? Beyoncé.
Rapier is a senior majoring in journalism from Flower Mound, Texas.
Snow: the worst thing to ever exist on earth
DAY RUINER
It's coming, Everyone says so. Snow will inherit the earth, and chances are it has already covered the sacred hills of Lawrence.
I'm willing to bet that every student is extremely happy about the chances of classes being canceled at the University. The University forcing students to skip class is always more fun than skipping class because students are lazy. But one thing I know students don't think about when classes are canceled is possibly the most crucial: Snow is the worst.
First and foremost, snow is dangerous. The University doesn't cancel classes because Chancellor Bernadette Gray-Little thinks students would really enjoy playing in the snow and having a grand of time. No—classes get canceled because people could possibly die if they were to drive to and from campus on the icy roads, or if one of the buses lost control and rammed into walking students.
Classes get canceled to save your life.
I understand why people are excited for classes being canceled, but replacing boring lectures with dangerous weather conditions seems to be hardy an enjoyable consolation.
I remember The Great Snowpocalypse of 2011. I was there. I survived. But I hated snow then, and I'm going to hate snow now.
Maybe it's because, even though I've been in Lawrence for four years, I still haven't gone sledding down Mount Oread. Maybe it's because I'm known in the Kansan newsroom as "Grumpy Cat," and seem to be notorious for hating everything that exists. Maybe it's because during that great snow storm of 2011, I still had to work those supposedly glorious days that classes were canceled by the University. And on my way to work, my truck got stuck in the snow and left me stranded.
Those are all real possibilities as to why my heart is still ice cold when tiny snowflakes fall from the sky. But it's also possible that ever since the state deemed it legal for me to drive a car, I've understood that snow can be a real deterrent to everything that is good. Instead of being able to get to the places I want to be in a timely, stress-free manner, I have to plan out a strategic plan of safety to travel. And sometimes snow keeps people locked up inside for several days, stopping them from being able to get the hot soup that they enjoy on an ice-cold day.
But as I write this, I know none of those are the real reason I hate
snow so much. The real reason is the aftermath. The elements left behind after snow surrenders to the changing of the season: sand and salt.
That nasty combination of sand and salt that cities use to try (and completely fail) to stop snow and ice building up and allow cars to drive on the roads. Maybe the salt does help melt the ice—I'm not a scientist, so I won't guess—but is it really worth it when there is such a nasty mixture left behind when the snow disappears? Probably not.
Once the snow is gone, I cringe when I walk on the sidewalks and see (and sometimes even feel through my shoes) the mixture. It's disgusting. There really must be a better way to prepare for something so sinister. This method really does seem like it was created in the 1700s.
"General Washington, how should we get rid of the snow?" asked a loyal American soldier on Dec. 25, 1776, when George
Washington led his army across a frozen Delaware River.
"Salt," said the soon-to-be leader of the Free World, General George Washington. "We will use salt and sand to clear our path and win the war against the British."
Sure. That didn't happen. But that's how I feel when such an asinine concept is used so regularly to no avail in a world that allows me to shut off my lights at night by simply clapping.
Maybe if the United States of America were to develop a much better way to prepare for icy conditions, I wouldn't hate snow so much. Maybe if classes are canceled today, and I spend all my free time enjoying my life by sledding down Mount Oread, I won't hate snow so much.
But for now, I do. Screw you, snow
Lysen is a senior majoring in journalism from Andover.
CAMPUS CHIRPS BACK
@jenijune
@UDK_Opinion NOT GOING TO
SCHOOL
@Kaydubbed
@UOK Opinion That's easy. Sledding behind the Campanile. It's no Winter Park, but you can get some pretty good speed.
@lehipp
©UDK Opinion Pretending
you have a boyfriend.
@lehipp
@dallegre
@UDK_Opinion going to class
@UOK Opinion anything!!
I'm gonna build my first snowman EVER!!
@emilyruth9
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kukunan Editorial Board are Hannah Wise, Sarah McKee, Nika Wonting, Dylan Lyon, Elise Farrington and Jacob Sinder.