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WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2013
Text your FFA submissions to 785-289-8351
Can we please stop making Harlem Shake videos? It's not funny or at all original. It's just dumb.
FREE FOR ALL
Wand: requires magic. Lightbaker; too dangerous sans the Force. Sonic screwdriver; clearly the superior option.
Shoulda, coulda, woulda... All I hear is excuses. (Wo)Man up.
Respect the Phog. RESPECT IT!
We support one of the best basketball teams in the nation. Alcohol is and should be involved.
Had a dream about Voda showing up in a suit and carrying a guitar, Pretty awesome!
My friend actually punched Perry Ellis in the face once in 6th grade. He was probably eating alone thanks to the trust issues it gave him.
Are those sweatpants tucked into your Uggs? I'm judging you.
I pick a Tricorder
It was a joke. One of my best friends is a frat guy.
I pick pokéball.
To have a bird poop on you is rather unlikely in the average day, so karma would have to balance the negative improbable experience with a positive one; hence, bird poop on your person means good luck to come!
If she chose Bubasaur, Charmander,
AND Squirte, instead of just only one,
then WIFE THAT.
Is it bad that I want to make paper airplanes out of all those study abroad flyers?
If she wants to watch cartoons the next morning, she's too young for you, bro.
Nonsorority girl, it's not as it seems.
RUN!
My teacher keeps eating out of this tin of Altoids... and I have to wonder if there are really mints in there.
To the girl who helped me clean up my spilled soup, you are my hero!
Prepare for Snowmageddon! Whatever happened to the groundhog saying spring would come early?
So much Harlem Shaking, so little time!
My lunches consist of my friends on their cellphones. What happened to actual face-to-face conversations?
Bow ties are cool
Seeing all this denim hate makes it painfully obvious that many KU students don't subscribe to GO.
CELEBRITIES
Why must you make me choose? One sonic wandsaber, please.
Apparently my stomach decided it was a dinosaur in the middle of class.
I don't get how music majors can sleep so much... Oh yeah, they never have homework
Award season brings out the worst in society
Its Feb. 20 and we're smack-dab in the middle of the entertainment industry's equivalent of corporate earnings week. Gossip magazine editors have their teams of "reporters" glued to the phones, each trying to score precious quotes from various superstars such as Ben Affleck, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry's left boo.
That means it must be award show season. When "deserving" artists are given a small, gold statuette of either a bald, muscular man or that big, ancient horn thing your great aunt used to play Sinatra records on after dinner. A gray-haired collective of industry bigwigs, known as the "academy," announces their nominees in early winter and lets old women in hair salons gripe endlessly over who they think will emerge as victors in what's really a banal, illogical and corrupt game of "playing favorites."
Much to the dismay of those old women in hair salons, it's all be over with on Sunday after the Academy Awards. And to think the media hasn't even stopped blathering about the Grammys
nine days ago. For many, it's a case of "to much, too fast," but nevertheless, it's almost over.
If you think about it, award shows fall into the same category as Kim Kardashian's pregnancy, whatever trashy demographic MTV decides to make a show about and McDonald's new, gross Fish MCbites: they're all things we so desperately want to avoid, but still mindlessly indulge in. Don't try to act like this doesn't apply to you, either. If you can name one of the Kardashians who isn't Kim, you just lost.
All of those fit into another category, too: Things that can tell you a lot about American popular culture, as a whole.
Let's say you were born and raised in North Korea and you've escaped from your sketchy government and its chubby, pint-sized supreme leader. You've made it across the pond to the U.S. and the first thing you watch on TV - really, your first legitimate exposure to unfiltered American culture - is an award show.
Here's what the Grammys and
Oscars tell you about our pop culture and us:
WE LOVE REPETITION..
If you're good at churning out the same album that you made the last time, you have a damn good shot at winning "Best Album" at the Grammys. Just ask Mumford and Sons.
...BUT, WE ALSO HATE IT?
WHAT?
If you've perfected your own, distinct filmmaking style and have still managed to up the creative ante with each new film, you have a damn good shot at winning next to nothing at the Oscars. We, as a society, continually shovel massive amounts of money into Michael Bay's pockets
each time he pukes out a new "Transformers" flick. So, that should mean we're into repetition when it comes to movies, right? Then, why does the Academy methodically screw directors like Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson, who make all their movies the same way (except, unlike Michael Bay, they're good), out of big awards? I don't know, you tell me.
WE LIE ABOUT HOW COOL WE
ARE.
When "Arge" wins Best Picture on Sunday, a large smattering of us will say something along the lines of, "I thought 'Amour' deserved it." Or "Beasts of the Southern Wild." My parents — who are way more movie-hip than I am — saw and loved both. But let's be honest, maybe a thousand other people actually saw neither. "A Good Day to Die Hard" was the number one film in the box office last week. That alone should tell you that no one actually sat through a French film about old people dying, but that doesn't stop us from lying about it.
WE LIKE BOOBS MORE THAN WE LIKE MOVIES OR MUSIC
Look at all the tabloids littering the shelves of grocery store checkouts for the next month. These days, side-boob draws more water in the entertainment industry than musical or theatric achievement. It's not just boobs, though; the stupider the story, the longer we drowl over it after the show's over. "Why didn't Chris Brown stand up when Frank Ocean got a standing ovation?" It's because he's Chris Brown. End of story. Everyone immediately stops caring about who won or lost and gossips about stupid things like that for months. If you want to get metaphorical here, you could call this stuff the sideboob of modern award shows.
And if you want to get really metapherical here, you can go ahead and call modern award shows the side-boob of American pop culture.
Barbosa is a junior majoring in journalism from Leawood. For more hilarity, follow him on Twitter @AIIRRBROSA
POLITICS
Government shouldn't force teams to play basketball
Our state legislators have enough to worry about without trying
to disrupt the sovereignty of Bill Self and the athletic department. Michael O'Donnell, a Kansas Senator from Wichita, proposed legislation to do just that. O'Donnell made a proposal to force the Jayhawks and the Wichita State Shockers to play annual basketball games.
This is not a question of the merit of the Shockers basketball team or whether it would benefit the lajhawks to play them, but whether it is a political issue.
It is not.
At first glance this proposal is obviously silly, even laughable to think of the state getting involved in scheduling basketball games, but it comes off as an innocent ploy. At second blush, it resembles something much darker and far more sinister. O'Donnell's actions provide insight into a psyche that personifies recklessness and irresponsibility that characterizes our state government, and in this case, a thoughtless abuse of power. The stench is so repugnant that it has people from James Naismith to Thomas Jefferson rolling in their graves.
If this seems like a stretch, examine the original proposal. It contained a punitive clause for
reprehensive action to be taken against the universities for failing to comply in the form of state funding cuts.
The proposal was later changed to take out the puniive clause and add Kansas State Wildcats to the bill.
The State of Kansas has already cut state funding to higher education, and O'Donnell was quick to throw students under the bus again when he tied the bill to funding. However the principles shown through his actions on his initial proposal are much more telling than that O'Donnell came to his senses and took it out.
Are our Kansas Senators drafting legislation so carelessly that they do not consider the consequences of their legislation? By leaving Kansas State out of the bill the first time, Ø'Donnell invalidated his own argument that the three division I schools be forced to be on a level field.
O'Donnell's draft was a look into his priorities. When he left Kansas State out, he made it clear that it is not about benefiting the state or enhancing competition, but about a Shockers fan that wants to see his team in the spotlight and is willing to abuse his power to make it happen. O'Donnel has admitted that this bill is not a high priority and he does not want it to distract from more important legislation, but what then does that say about where students rank on his priorities?
The issue here is that these politicians need to stay out of basketball. Maybe playing Wichita State would not be a bad idea and there are plenty of students who would like to see it happen, but leave it up to the coaches and athletic directors. I trust Bill Self's judgment.
Deep seeded misjudgment and thoughtlessness has permeated our state government, and students have been the victims. Education funding is not something to play with.
Cosby is a sophomore majoring in economics and political science from Overland Park. Follow him on Twitter @claycosyb.
CHIRPS BACK
Is snow awesome or awful?
Follow us on Twitter @UDK_Opinion.
Tweet us your opinions, and we just
might publish them.
@arielr09
@UKK Opinion Sounds fantastic! I could use a perfect excuse to miss class and work to watch tv and sleep all day... I mean study.
FACEBOOK
News flash: social media ruins lives
Every morning when I wake up, before I roll out of bed to brush my teeth, before I reach for that family-size box of Cap'n Crunch above my refrigerator, before I sleepily fumble around my apartment looking for my shoe that I drunkenly threw off the night before upon entering my abode, I check my phone.
At first glance I notice a few iMessages, some emails and today's Groupon alert, but after that lock screen is open, there's only one thing on my mind: Facebook.
Four years ago, as a freshman here at the University, Facebook was still coming into its own, much like I was. The basic idea was there, but every so often it still had growth spurts and awkward months of pseudo-maturity. As I became an adult during my time at the University, so did Facebook become more self-sufficient and capable. When I would make a friend in real life, my Facebook would make a new friend in Facebook life. If something funny happened in class, Facebook would know before my best friends. We were buddies, pals, compadres, amigos, even "BFFs."
I almost feel as if Facebook considers me that naggy friend who always wants to hang out.
"Hey Facebook! How are you? What are you up to? How are my friends?"
But where am I now?
"Why don't you just ask them for yourself?" Facebook might ask, but secretly he, or she if you want, craves the attention. He's like the drug dealer who seems all nice and cool at first, but once you're hooked he manipulates you. Slowly you watch your life spiral out of control and into a vegetative state of social overstimulation. I liken it to one of those advertisements I've seen about meth: "Not even once."
I can see myself sitting in my chair at home, in front of my desk, wearing the protective coating on my Apple Magic Mouse down to the aluminum.
eyes fixated on the LCD display in front of me, slowly reaching that calm, comatose like state where nothing really matters but my sweet, adoring Facebook love.
Has this issue been written about before? Of course. But do we really understand the ramifications of our neglect? Have we truly grasped the gravity of the ailments that will befall our personal relationships if we continue to let this digital cyber giant dictate our very lives? Can we fathom the frightful end of phone calls and lunch dates, replacing natural and often awkward social interaction for the cold, rehearsed comfort of a direct message?
@ELB4KUJHawks
@UKD Opinion snow is great if it comes
w/o ice and sleet on the roads!
I say we cannot. I say it is our duty, nay, responsibility to insure personal interaction. It is our responsibility to speak to one another face-to-face, to make jokes and watch each other laugh, to communicate with your best friend just through a look, to awkwardly ask that cute girl out for dinner in person instead of from the comfort of your roommate's Lay-Z-Boy. I say it is time to throw off our digital oppressor, to break free of the chains of cyber addiction and to reclaim our lives as individuals, as free men! Call me crazy, but I believe in a world free of Facebook, free of oppression. A world where we can exist alongside one in peace. All it takes is a little less time on Facebook, and the change starts here, now, with you.
Crawford is a senior majoring in journalism from Olathe. Follow him on twitter @brett cra.
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@UDBK. Duition Snow is awful when there's just enough to make driving difficult, but awesome when we get snowed in and drive at all. #snowday
@courtneyschupp
@courtheschupp
@UOK_Opinion awesome!
snowdaze #hollaaaa
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Members of the Kansas Editorial Board are Hannah Wise,
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