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MONDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 2013
opinion
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The Hawk selling snacks? That would add a whole new dimension to dollar night.
For those of you that don't know:
There is a Blackboard app. It works wonderfully.
Nope. Squirrels of KU is a dude, met him once. Whatta nut.
If a sorority girl is alone in the woods it's because it's a horror movie.
Balloons don't have feelings, you
weirdo.
If it is hard to take the country seriously, do something about it or shut up.
Squirrel is staring at me eating food in the Underground. Even though there's glass between us, I'm still scared.
I'm pretty sure that you don't need the frat clothes to keep the "GDIs" away from you.
I saw Tyler Self and did not flip out. I just stared at his facial hair.
I feel less stupid knowing other people forgot to redeem their basketball tickets, too. But still stupid.
A Jimmy John's delivery guy just got out of his car and jumped on a skateboard to get to Robinson. Now that's speedy delivery!
Is it wrong to steal ketchup from the Underground? It's the only way I have ketchup at my house.
I guess we'll never know who let the dogs out.
SOCIAL MEDIA
So like do like frat like boys like not like think like non-like sorority girls are like cute like?
I want to give Elijah a hug. He probably feels pretty crappy right now.
Elijah Johnson. This isn't breakfast, this is basketball. Quit handing out turnovers.
There is nothing sexier than a Jayhawk with newspaper confetti in their hair.
When people ask me who I want to win on Sunday, I tell them I'm rooting for Revoné
Correlation analysis: Since becoming the "home of the Chiefs," the Chiefs have not won a playoff game. Not what we want here.
I am tired of people freaking out about these athletes. We get it, they are great. I see Kevin Young every day and I don't freak out like he's a god. Why?
I wish I was as drunk at the game Saturday as the refs were.
OK, I think we all know what time it is... NAP TIME!
Falling out of love with Facebook
Mark Zuckerberg has us trapped and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it.
do about it
Last month, Zuckerberg and his army of sly, pimply programmers unveiled Graph Search, a new feature that is currently being rolled out to Facebook users. Graph Search will be a sophisticated, versatile search engine that, according to Facebook's "Introducing Graph Search" page, will allow you to siphon through years of your friends' visible activity so you can "start a book club or find a gym buddy."
As Tom Scott, one of the feature's early users who started the "Actual Facebook Graph Searches" Tumblr, learned, you can easily find results for married people who like prostitutes, or men who are interested in men and live in Tehran, Iran (where homosexuality can be punished by death).
So obviously, people are breaking out about this. Plenty of tech pundits speculate that this could be the final, overly invasive straw that breaks users' backs and drives them away in droves. They could be right, but many of us have already left.
But why — and when — did we fall out of love with Facebook?
I'd say it all started hitting the fan on September 20, 2011. That morning in a convention hall, Zuckerberg unveiled the three features that would kick-start the downfall his multi-billion dollar empire.
The features were subscription (which no one uses), timeline profiles (which everyone hates) and a new, revamped news feed. Before that fateful Tuesday, your news feed displayed every post from every person on your friends list in the order in which they were published.
Since the previous news feed bombarded users with tons of posts, the minions in Zuckerberg's Palo Alto cult developed an algorithm that would, in theory, decide whose posts you want to read. For example, if you "liked" a lot someone's photos or chatted with them regularly, you'd see more of their updates — or at least that's what Facebook tells us. Exactly what the algorithm uses to decide relevant posts is largely kept hush-hush.
But news feed part deux was like communism: good as a theory, a disaster in practice. Many people on my friends list,
whom I'm actually friends with, were heated about the timeline and stopped using Facebook. Those people used to post pictures I would "like" and would post dumb links they found on StumbleUpon on my wall. According to Facebook's algorithm, their posts would show up on my feed.
As they left, that almighty algorithm had less and less to work with. So, instead of leaving me with a blank feed, it panicked, grabbing any and every random post from random people whose friend requests I randomly accepted in 2006 after they randomly added someone I'd randomly met at soccer camp. Friends of a few, random mutual friends, if you will.
And good God, do their posts blow. They're extremely painful to read—not because they're sad,
but because they're just so mind-bogglingly absurd. They're overly personal rants and ramblings from people whose posts I've never once "liked" and from people with whom I've never once talked. We just became "friends" in 2006.
I'm not alone, either. Within 30 minutes of asking people on Twitter to share ridiculous news feed posts from "friends" they don't know, I received tons of anonymous snippets from everyone's "friends."
These glorious fits of rage include, "it is what it is ppl yes i date my best friend twin brother get the over it," and, "People make me wanna take my piercings out." Both were posted on Facebook, which, in case they didn't know, is a public forum.
That's what my news feed looks like these days, and it's what a lot of our news feeds have now become. Some of us have moved to Twitter over the last year or so, where we're less likely to follow throngs of random people who tend to throw verbal hissy fits over cheap, poorly drawn tattoos.
But most of us haven't deleted our Facebook profiles, and we probably never will. If we did, wed be giving up all those priceless pictures that were first tagged back when each one of us had bad haircuts and acne. Plus, our grandmas "don't get" Twitter, so how else would they be able to innocently comment about how cute the girl standing next to you in a picture is if we severed our ties with Facebook? I don't know if you're cool with cutting your grandma off from your life away at college, but I'm certainly not cool with cutting off mine.
That's just how it goes, though. No matter how disappointed with Facebook we become, we never can fully quit it. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it's good to keep all that stuff around.
But as long as our profiles towards the number that matters most to Facebook's financiers: "users." As long as that number stays big, Zuckerberg will keep getting paid and will keep rolling out new "features" that continue to make Facebook more miserable than it was before.
And the Wal-Mart of the internet will keep rolling on, whether we like it or not.
Barbosa is a junior majoring in journalism from Leawood. For more hilarity, follow him on twitter @AIRBRODSOA
FAMILY
Dealing with divorce: how to heal and find happiness
I've been in a hangover since I was 9 years old.
Not the kind of hangover that consequently occurs the next morning after attending dollar night. No, this hangover is far worse. And permanent.
It's the kind of hangover you get when you start to question if your greatest memories were lies, when everything good is a blur, when you can't remember what went wrong and when the deleterious weight of reality starts to mentally change you.
It paralyzes you; mentally and physically. It's the divorce hangover and the side effects can have negative long-term effects on physical and mental health.
I know I was only 9 years old, but I vividly remember my many awkward social encounters shortly thereafter, my restless nights, the confusion which led to anger, my life had permanently changed.
By no means am I blaming my parents for my problems. In fact, they've helped me with a lot of my problems. Plus, if they weren't happy, who am I to force them to stay together for my benefit? I absolutely love my parents; so much so that I wish they were still together.
For nine years I was drunk; believing that everything was fine, that my parents were happy and that nothing could come between us. It wasn't until the summer of 1999, that my drunkenness wore off and I was left to deal with the hangover.
But that's part of the hangover, wanting to go back to how things were before the pain.
If you have experienced a divorce, I understand what you're going through and it can get better.
My five part remedy that best helps me get through tough days is hanging with friends, keeping up communication with both families, listening to music – preferably cheerful and upbeat songs — exercise regularly and find a hobby that keeps you busy. Mine's writing. I know this remedy sounds cliché, and it is, but it works.
According to the Barma Group, a research and resource organization focused on the intersection of faith and culture, 33 percent of all marriages end in divorce. This statistic is worrisome to me, because, if this rate stays constant, it means 1 out of 3 people will get a divorce. This means that nearly 9,900 of my fellow lajhavks will get a divorce.
I can't help but to think which of my friends will fall into this statistic.
Of course, I want to be optimistic and hope that the divorce rate decreases. Unfortunately, I feel in certain circumstances, it's inevitable and there are no pre-cautions that can be taken. There is no divorce shot that prevents
I just hope it isn't me.
divorce. There is no pill that makes the relationship better. It's up to you.
According to a 2009 study by Linda Luecken at Arizona State University showed that a peaceful divorce resolution helped students stay healthy while a divorce that was never finalized and fully resolved caused a negative long-term effect on health.
Furthermore, the students who kept in close contact with their father did better post-divorce than those with little or no contact.
Luecken says anger and stress management are the biggest problems that divorcee kids face. The key is to find an effective relaxation method (see my five-part-remedy above). Luecken suggests controlled breathing or exercise. Also, students should change their state of mind by focusing on a pleasant aspect of life for 10 minutes. I agree with Luecken.
I often wonder how my life would be if that summer day never came back in '99. But then I stop, because this is where I'm supposed to be. This molded me into the person I am today. Maybe everything does happen for a reason, the good and the bad.
Life is what you make it. It's time to wake up and shake off the hangover, because today is a new day, a new you, a stronger you. Don't you ever forget that.
Bierwirth is a senior majoring in journalism from Overland Park.
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nachos
Beauty standards still rule women
I used to love those "feel beautiful" ads and I would tell people they were pretty almost every day. I felt everyone should feel pretty no matter what cards they were dealt. However, as I grow older I realize what those ads and doing that is complete crap. Those ads are just doing the same thing magazines with skinny models do. Make us believe that beauty is most important.
I have not done that to look prettier; it really was to feel I was moving forward with my life. Nevertheless, I cannot help to ask myself, "Why do I care so much? Why are we woman so focused on looks? Have they become what define us?"
lately I have been dedicating a lot of time to myself. I decided to invest more in my looks. I have been wearing heels, more makeup, changing my hairstyle and I bought new clothes.
Why are they so many ads emphasizing beauty and not enough telling women they are smart? Why are there not enough ads saying: "Go to medical school, law school, or engineering. You can do this!" Isn't that more important? Our grandmothers fought so much for us to have these opportunities. Yet we are as submissive as the women in the 1930s. Sure we are not getting married as young, but aren't we submissive to these beauty standards?
How can we progress? Have more women in politics and equality on the job market, when we get so distracted with feeling pretty. It does not. Power does not come from being a size 2 and having perfect hair, ladies. Power comes from following your dreams and not letting anyone convince you of the opposite. I spent years thinking being prettier would make life better, would bring happiness. Getting prettier did not make me happier. What made me happier was knowledge, friends surrounding me and achieving professional
CHIRPS BACK
goals.
We need to stop caring so much about having or not having self esteem and instead focus on being leaders. Being smarter, wiser and nicer. Not prettier. Love and beauty is wonderful. I am happy they are both emphasized every second of the day. But we need more in our lives than just being pretty and feeling loved. We need to keep women moving forward in society. We are stratified in this imperfect model, nothing really changes. We are distracted with looking perfect, instead of actually being. We need to know we can do more. Yet we let people convince us that having a man and a nice pair of boobs is enough to have it all.
I am not saying every women is like this. In fact we have outstanding examples out there of humanitarians, politicians, poets and artists, who just prove what we are capable of. We need to focus women of all the world! Stop letting the world tell us who we are supposed to be and get a back bone to make our own decisions. Those ads are just another form of power over us. Which we sadly follow.
There is still a lot to be done. Some women do not even have a voice in some countries. Women are still tortured, raped and murdered everywhere. We have the luxury to live our lives how we please. Let's live them with more meaning.
Siqueiros is a junior majoring in Global and International Studies from Overland Park.
@jenijuune
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