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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2012
10/17
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY BANSAN
Dear short girls, stay away from Withey. Sincerely, tall girls.
It's called the quiet section for a reason. I didn't come to the library to hear you giggle or talk on the phone. CAN YOU READ THE SIGNS ON THE WALL?
What's this BS with the FFAs getting sentimental and serious? With that, has anyone seen my pet hamster? I lost him and I am sad.
I am so in love with my TA. He doesn't know it yet, but we're going to get married and live happily ever after when I graduate in four years.
Text your FFA submissions to 785-289-8351 or at kansan.com
The Prius is like a ninja: you can't hear it until it's too late.
The Kansan reused a crossword from a couple weeks ago. You thought you could trick me.
Why isn't my life a romantic comedy?
How long do I have to wait to ask my tutor to marry me?
I went and got wet with Weis. Not worth it.
So we aren't supposed to text while driving, but we're encouraged to take a picture of our thumb on the wheel and then twit it? Sounds much safer.
Doing chew is NOT sexy. Guys, please quit this habit... We're Jayhawks, not Wildcats
I feel like I know so much about the candidates that I am on a first name basis with Barack and Mitt.
You don't cheer for Roll Tide, you cheer for the Crimson Tide. Get it right.
Pro tip: to avoid petitioners on Wescoe, carry a clipboard.
If I had a dollar for every dollar I spend, I'd always have a dollar.
Seize control of the present
You might have heard Mitt Romney claim on the campaign trail that half of college graduates can't find a job. According to the Associated Press in April, he's mostly right - 53.6 percent of bachelor's degree-holders under the age of 25 last year were jobless or underemployed. From an economist standpoint, we can understand that some may choose to stay unemployed until they find a job that fits their preferences. This can only go on for so long, however, before work becomes a necessity. This creates an interesting phenomenon common among young adults: we hate our jobs.
The leaves are falling! You know what this meams? Leaf tornadoes!
JOB OUTLOOK
According to CBS News in 2010, the Conference Board research group surveyed 5,000 households and found that 64 percent of workers under the age of 25 were unhappy with their jobs. Upon first glance, those numbers are just as bleak as the numbers Romney quotes out of the Associated Press. Upon further examination, it seems could be even worse.
Out of the 53.6 percent of graduates actually working, only 36 percent, bear with me, are "not unhappy" with their job. Being "not unhappy" does not mean that you are happy. By doing some quick multiplication, one can postulate that 19.3 percent (53.6 percent times 36 percent of people), upon graduating, are not unhappy with their job.
Is that a sniper or a camera man on top of Strong?
Of course, I cannot calculate the statistical certainty of this figure. The figures don't account for the difficulty associated with surveying and my immediate interpretations don't account for the fickleness of statistics. Despite this, consider how shocking that percentage is. Although the exercise is misleading, count out four others near you and think, "Out of us five people, only one of us will be happy with a job. Two of us are employed but are unhappy and, well, two of us are jobless or underemployed." That's 19.3 percent. Assume you're the 19.3 percent, happy at your job, and the other four people around
you are the unfortunate souls stuck in jobs they dislike or don't have jobs at all. That's the way it always works out, right?
Fortunately for us, statistics don't work this way. Fact: one of every five people is Chinese. Despite popular belief and demographic trends, the University of Kansas does not have 6,000 Chinese students strolling Jayhawk Boulevard. Still, consider the 19.3 percent for what it is. It's not some number you can ignore.
The worst part is that there isn't a clear path to being in the 19.3 percent. This isn't a column where I explain how to be happy at work.
This isn't some how-to guide debunking the myths of finding jobs when we graduate. The quoted figures are assuming we graduate. I'm in no position to be an authority on college success; I'm in the trenches, just like everyone else. Even so, don't you think there is something we can do? Do we have to just accept that we might be unhappy employees, unemployed, or perhaps, just cogs in a well-oiled machine? That's quite the gloomy, dark prognosis stemming from two articles and a few percentages.
I do have an idea that is not terribly unique, but still worth considering. Instead of worrying about where we will be when we graduate, what if we focus on what we're doing now? What if we were less concerned about how happy we will be when we finish our college careers and more concerned about finding joy each and every day? Which genie made us think that if we wanted to eat the cookies, we could never eat cookie dough? Which little snake whispered in
our ears that cooking was boring and that only eating was satisfying? Who made us think this way?
So who's the dumbass that wrecked into the invisible wall in front of Watson?
This hill is literally my least favorite thing about life.
My analogies are terrible. I can hardly use Microsoft Word's synonym feature. But really, think about it. Who says we have to put off enjoyment in order to achieve more in the future? Who says we have to be some statistic? What if we dream, we explore, we dabble, we appreciate today, not tomorrow. What if we sweat and labor right here right now? What if we look as time as something finite, not as a variable that increases our projected investments? Maybe if we learn to find happiness in whatever we are doing now, we can apply that skill when we graduate. Don't be scared of Romney and his Associated Press statistics. Embrace them for what they are, and move on and enjoy KU.
Ouyang is a junior majoring in petroleum engineering and economics from Overland Park. Follow him on Twitter @ChrisOuyang.
FAMILY
Take the time to reconnect
Take a moment and try to remember the last time you had a conversation with your mom. And not a "Yep, everything's good with me, could you send some more Beak 'Em Bucks?" type of conversation.
When was the last time you talked with your mom - or your dad, brother, sister, grandma, etc.
- about something deeper than how you did on your last exam or how much money is in your bank account? Was it yesterday? Last week? Last month?
It's so easy in college to get caught up in, well, college. Lawrence and KU are environments that can be all encompassing at times. Classes, sporting events, concerts, jobs and friends all demand our attention, wrapping us up in a world that revolves around college life, and by extension, around ourselves.
It may seem difficult to fit your family or hometown into that equation. That realization was especially clear to me over fall break. Even though Lawrence is only 30 miles from my home in Overland Park, being home for those four days felt like I was living someone else's life. Passing my high school each time I got in the car, attending the church where I received my First Communion and going to movies at the same theatre where my friends and I loitered as preteens were all strange reminders of my "former" life there.
Sometimes we have a tendency to put our families in that category, too. Now that we're college students we're expected to be independent, to not need our parents to hold our hands, to "check in" with our families instead of
making them part of our lives.
I don't believe that. Every family is different, and I am lucky that my family is just down the road, but being close with (and, god forbid, even needing) our parents should not be seen as a sign of weakness. Our childhoods, hometowns and high schools should not be tossed aside as embarrassing or no longer relevant.
Now that "Throwback Thursdays" are all the rage, take an opportunity to go through some old family photos. Look at pictures of you and your parents, grandparents and siblings. There was a time when these people were your world; they were all you knew. It's so easy to get caught up in college life without remembering the people who built us up and loved us and made it possible for us to be here.
Staying connected can be more difficult for students who are attending school far from home. I've always admired those who attend school far away from their families, whether it comes easily to them or not. It's something I was not prepared to do as an 18-year-old kid, and probably am not prepared to do now, either.
ences than I do. Their family dynamics are more casual, and their personalities are more independent. Some are completely comfortable seeing their parents only a few times a year, and that's great, even if it's a different perspective from mine.
However, many of these students have different life experi-
Still, I disagree with the idea that our parents and siblings are entities that only matter for the first 18 years of our lives. In the past few months, I've been overwhelmed by the misfortunes that have befallen some of my family friends and acquaintances: family members losing their jobs, getting seriously ill or even dying. It may sound cliché, but we really are just one phone call away from the same thing happening to us.
If your family is healthy and happy right now, count your blessings and give them a call. Better yet, make them an active part of your lives. Talk to them about their childhoods, ask them for advice on a situation you're facing, tell them about something you're looking forward to. You may find it lame or unnecessary, but I guarantee even five minutes will make their day. You may even find yourself enjoying reconnecting.
In the end, if god forbid something happens to one of the people you love, it won't matter if staying in touch felt cool or necessary, you'll just wish you'd done it.
Mayfield is a junior studying journalism, public policy and leadership from Overland Park. Follow on twitter @lindsaym.
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Obama vs. Romney, basketballvs.soda
This weekend, I watched "Swing Vote," a 2008 film in which Kevin Costner plays a blue-collar, average American who's faced with the daunting task of casting the deciding ballot in a deadlocked presidential election.
Just kidding, I didn't watch that movie. It's never on TV, and even if it was, I probably wouldn't watch it. Ever. Kevin Costner hasn't acted in a decent movie since "Field of Dreams," and even that's debatable.
But I remember seeing a commercial for "Swing Vote" years ago. I remember thinking to myself, "What if I was that guy? What if I was the last vote? What if I was the guy who chose the next President of the United States?"
What if? Don't get me wrong; I have my own political beliefs and affiliations, but at that point, you've got to table them. You have to go with your gut. A job as the leader of the free world is at stake and two grown men are left to spend every waking hour they to woo your vote. They're in the palm of your hand. The country is in the palm of your hand. You say, "jump," they say, "high吗?"
The polls are tight right now. Depending on where you look, some pollsters have President Barack Obama slightly ahead and others have Mitt Romney with a narrow lead. The odds against a tied election like in "Swing Vote" are more than overwhelming, though. There's almost no way that it would come down to one vote.
But, for the sake of this column,
let's say it does; let's say I have to
stay late in my lab that Tuesday
and I can't make it to the polls. The
whole country votes, the election is
tied, and I've got both Obama and
Romney, one-on-one, trying to win
my vote.
I'd have a few additional questions I'd want to ask them; questions they've never answered and questions they've never been asked. Relevance doesn't matter either, because we're playing by my rules: no spin-room, no advisors, nothing but honest, heartfelt answers.
President Obama's up first:
Listen, man, I've got a big, fat bone to pick with you after that garbage you tried to pull before this year's NCAA men's basketball tournament. Sure, I respect the fact that you picked the Jayhawks to win your brackets in 2010 and 2011, but you really crapped down your leg by picking us to lose in the Elite Eight and picking Missouri to
Now Mitt Romney.
make the Final Four, Jesus Christ,
man. Did Biden tell you that was a
good idea? It wasn't. It was completely
and utterly inexcusable.
I know Mizzou was better than usual
and we weren't favorites, but come on.
The fact that you had "Faith in Haith" makes me question your judgment. How am I supposed to trust you to rein in the deficit when you backed a team with a fan base that can't even rein in a full set of teeth? You tell me.
I don't know if I can trust your judgment, either. I've read from several sources, including the Washington Post and the Los Angeles Times, that your favorite beverage is Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. Are you friggin' kidding? DIET WILD CHERRY PEPSI? What in blue hell is going on here, Mitt? A lot of people think you probably drink it because you're a devout Mormon and you're apparently not supposed to drink caffeine. Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi has caffeine, though, and the church released a statement three weeks ago saying, "the church does not prohibit the use of caffeine." That leaves you with no excuse other than the fact that your favorite beverage is perhaps the biggest wussy of the carbonated cola family. Basically, if I pick you to win the presidency, I'm turning over the nuclear codes to a guy who drinks Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. I'm not comfortable with that, Mitt. Man up and drink a regular Coke or enjoy remaining a former governor.
So let's pray this thing doesn't end in a tie and I'm the one who has to make the pick. Choosing between someone who picked Mizzo in the Final Four and someone who loves the wussiest beverage of all time could prove impossible.
But hey, there's always "enemy-meeny-miny-moe."
Barbosa is a junior major in journalism from Leawood. For more hilarity, follow him on Twitter @AJBARBROSA.
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